owns Page 262 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

I Can't Imagine What Joe Thomas Did To These People
This video comes from The FanHouse's Enrico Campitelli, who's at the draft today. I just love watching the emotions change here; you can almost see their internal monologue. "What's going to happen, what should do I do? Left tackle? That doesn't mean much to me, but OHHHHHH! OHHHHHHHH! OHHHHHHHHH! I...

Lucky Joe Thomas Gets To Go To Cleveland
The Cleveland Browns, with the 3rd overall pick, take Joe Thomas, OL, Wisconsin. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....

They Just Love The Browns To The Very End
One thing we will never doubt is the intense, eternal devotion of Cleveland Browns "fans." And "eternal" is the key word: Even those about to be executed are woofing it up....

Time To Open The Big Can Of Monkey Whupass
Thankfully, late-night monkey zoo abductions have been virtually stamped out here in the U.S. But in Great Britain, where they are common, monkeys must be ever vigilant. Still smarting from the owl fiasco at the Moscow Zoo, the same gang of thugs apparently decided on a monkey heist for their next c...

Cultural Oddsmaker: What Comes After Shaq Fat Camp?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Hey, Why Is Kenny Chesney Suddenly Calling Me?
In our original neck of the woods in Mattoon, Ill., NFL loyalties are rather split. Some people root for the Chicago Bears (four hours away), some root for the Indianapolis Colts (90 minutes away) and some odd souls hopped on the Rams bandwagon (two hours away). (Some insane people stuck with the fo...

It's Sleepy Football Night In America
We try to recap each weeknight game the morning after around here, because weekday games are rare and often are the talk of the "water cooler" around "the office" with one's "co-workers." Unfortunately, last night's Steelers-Browns tilt was, well, a completely shellacking that was over early and in ...

Well, It's Not That Big A Deal If You Miss This One
This, it's safe to say, is not one of those night when we're banging our head against the wall for not having the NFL Network. (We're far more concerned about missing the Rutgers bowl game.) The Steelers and the Browns, two teams long since removed from the playoff picture, go head to head tonight, ...

Twenty Four Years Isn't 1918 or 1908 ... But It's A Pretty Long Time
In 1982, we were six years old — we turned seven during the World Series — and could care less about baseball. The principal once called our parents because he thought it was weird that we were reading "Mom, The Wolfman and Me" during recess instead of playing kickball. (And that factoid, surely, wi...

You Don't Like Your Team As Much As Browns Fans Do
This is old, but we hadn't seen it: Some magazine or something ranked all 32 NFL teams on their fan loyalty. We like little lists like this, but we're kind of Tourettic....

Imagine What They'll Call It When They Actually Use It
Far be it from us to pretend to be experts in branding, but this new marketing gimmick for the Cleveland Browns, obviously a "riff" (and "riff" is being generous) on the Steelers' Terrible Towel, is actually called The Dirty Brown Towel....

Everybody Needs Some Tailgating Backup
We know those who use wheelchairs are capable of doing just about anything that those who can stand and walk can do; we suspect some of you are doing that very thing right now. Unless you're trying to get to the upper deck of RFK Stadium, nothing should stand in your way as a sports fan....

NFL Pants Party: AFC North
This might be our favorite division in football. Big Ben's bashed up face/appendix combo, Joey Porter, the Bengals cavalcade of feloniousness, Ray Lewis and sex tapes and murder raps ... oh, and the Browns too. What do the kids think?...

Waiting Patiently For Art Modell To Die
I know this is perverse, but I can't quite decide just how perverse. Actually, I probably know, but choose not to acknowledge it, because I also find it amusing....

Willie McGinest, Logic Monolith
This picture of new Cleveland Browns defensive end Willie McGinest — by the way, did you realize where Browns training camp was? Berea! — shows him wearing No. 55, the number he has worn since he played for USC more than a decade ago....

NFL Season Preview: Cleveland Browns
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...

Kellen Winslow, Soldier (In Pads, And With Free School And A Big Contract And Little Chance Of Actually, You Know, Being Killed)
So we'd never actually seen this old video of Kellen Winslow Jr., after a Miami game against Tennessee. He is answering a question about whether or not a player he leveled with a devastating block was hurt. And we get confirmation that Kellen Winslow, tight end for an Ohio football team, is a soldie...

Bracket Breakdown: Oakland Regional
The question was raised by Dan Shanoff in the Daily Quickie this morning, and echoed in today's Sports Illustrated: Is this the year a No. 16 seed finally beats a No. 1? Oral Roberts is a No. 16 seed that's much better than your usual No. 16 seed, and you could certainly argue that Memphis is a li...

Bracket Breakdown: Minneapolis Regional
For some reason, the Minneapolis Regional is the one that inspires us the least. We're not sure why; we love Villanova and think the college basketball world is a better place when the Wildcats are good....

Bracket Breakdown: Washington, D.C. Regional
Remember last year, when Bill Murray suddenly showed up in Chicago to root on the Illini in their run for the Final Four? As Illini fans, this made us extremely happy. It's nice when it turns out that the celebrity fan bandwagon jumpers for your team are actually cool....