owns Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Victorious LAFC Coach Bob Bradley Storms Off In Response To Softball Question
LAFC beat Zlatan Ibrahimović and LA Galaxy 5–3 in Thursday night’s El Tráfico, beating their rivals for the first time ever, bouncing them from the MLS playoffs, and advancing to the club’s first Western Conference final. LAFC star Carlos Vela figured prominently, scoring a pair of first-half goals ...

Jarvis Landry Guarantees Victory Against The Patriots, Quickly Regrets It
The 2-4 Cleveland Browns have a massively intimidating task ahead of them this Sunday, as they travel to New England to take on the undefeated Patriots. This is a team that, when they took on the league’s other remaining undefeated team in Santa Clara three weeks ago, got crushed by a score of 31-3....
![MLB Umpire Rob Drake Is Prepared To Shoot People In Defense Of Donald Trump [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/yvdhgaxqhu32sn4bgymi.jpg)
MLB Umpire Rob Drake Is Prepared To Shoot People In Defense Of Donald Trump [Update]
Major League umpire and apparent MAGA fiend Rob Drake posted and deleted a tweet late Tuesday indicating that he would be purchasing an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle on Wednesday in order to wage “CIVAL WAR” should Congress impeach peabrain president Donald Trump. Going to go out on a limb here and ass...

Odell Beckham Jr. Is Pissed About A Big Fine For A Dumb Uniform Violation
Browns receiver Odell Beckham Jr. showed off his gams during Cleveland’s Week 6 loss to the Seattle Seahawks back in Week 6, wearing his uniform pants a couple inches above the knee. Why should you give a rip whether a football man wears his pants above or below the knee, you ask, like a real grump?...

Mike Leach, Convinced Of His Own Cleverness, Tells Unbearably Long Joke About Lip Reading
Asked Monday evening whether he’s nervous for next week’s matchup against No. 11 Oregon, where four of his former assistants now work, Mike Leach used the opportunity to take a swipe at football coaches so paranoid about their plays being found out that they cover their mouths while talking on the s...

Heat Suspend Dion Waiters For Having A Tantrum On The Bench During Preseason
As the NBA preseason comes to a close and teams work to finalize what their regular season rosters will look like, it would appear that one player has decided to make their team’s rotation choices a little bit easier: Dion Waiters. The man who’s famous for scoring a game-winning buzzer-beater agains...

Will Muschamp Went Ballistic On "Gutless" Officials After Crucial Missed Penalty
South Carolina dropped a tough one against Florida yesterday, giving up three touchdowns to the Gators in the fourth quarter to lose 38-27. Their bid for a second straight top-ten upset unraveled in frustrating fashion, as officials seemed to miss clear penalties on two of the biggest plays of the g...

Here's A Relay Race Handoff Gone Horribly Wrong
Here’s the rare bungling at this year’s IAAF World Championships in Doha that was not the fault of the event’s corrupt, rapacious organizers. While the Jamaican team sped to victory in last weekend’s women’s 4x100 relay final, the final two runners on the Chinese team seemed to forget how their even...

Myles Garrett Says Some Weak Sucker Asked Him For A Photo Then Punched Him
Who would do something like this to Myles Garrett? It’s a deeply shitty thing to sucker-punch someone, and it’s especially futile in this case, since Garrett is a 6-foot-4, 272-pound defensive end for the Cleveland Browns. It would take a grizzly bear to damage him!...

Odell Beckham Jr. Is Back To Making Incredible Catches Again
It had been a while since Odell Beckham Jr. had made a highlight reel for something other than getting choked out on the field, or giving up a bad fumble on a punt return. But against the Seahawks on Sunday he gave the ol’ make-an-incredible-catch approach a try....

Dabo Swinney, Whose Team Is Headed For A Blowout Win Anyway, Yells At Kicker For Missing Field Goal
No. 2 Clemson has been manhandling Florida State all game Saturday evening, moving the ball seamlessly under Trevor Lawrence’s stewardship and stopping FSU’s run entirely. None of this was enough to tide over head coach and generally saturnine jerk Dabo Swinney, who decided that he absolutely needed...

Gus Johnson Not Sure If It's Hot In Here Or Just Him, Can't Stop Admiring Beefy Referee's Arms
When Mike Defee officiates a football game, you can be fairly sure that what transpires on the field will be discussed about half as much as what’s protruding from Defee’s sleeves. His arms first came to prominence a few years ago in the 2017 title game between Alabama and Clemson, after which he to...

Antiques Shitshow: How Much Is My Ron Artest Kings Jersey Worth, Besides "Everything To Me"?
As I remember it, the decision to buy my white Ron Artest Sacramento Kings jersey was not a reasoning one. The decision to buy a basketball jersey, as someone who will probably only ever wear it during the six days per year that I am at or near a beach, is inherently not a reasonable one. And yet I ...

College Football Coach Accused Of Cramming 30 Players In One Apartment, Housing Others In Locker Room
The athletic department of Pierce College is investigating head football coach Carlos Woods after a report from The Roundup News, a school publication, revealed that the coach had collected rent money from his players, and allowed four students to briefly live in the team locker room. Jose Cordova, ...

Maybe It's Not That Complicated
Over the last few days, many people in the NBA and wider sports media world have settled on a basic talking point when discussing the ongoing international incident that Rockets GM Daryl Morey kicked off when he tweeted a message of support for pro-democracy protestors in Hong Kong: It’s complicated...

Richard Sherman Says He'll Apologize To Baker Mayfield Over Disputed Handshake Snub
Peace has been achieved in our time. One day after Richard Sherman’s claim that Browns quarterback Baker Mayfield snubbed him in a handshake line was alternately proven and disproven by a multitude of new angles, the 49ers cornerback conceded that he may have gotten too far out over his skis. Sherma...

The Richard Sherman-Baker Mayfield Handshake Controversy Has Deepened And Dumbened
It is time now to enter the depths of Handshakeghazi....

Andy Murray Is Back To Beefing
Andy Murray’s happy return to tennis wouldn’t have been complete without some trademark stink-faced kvetching—mostly at himself, but occasionally at his opponent when the situation warrants. Few opponents deserve a good kvetch in the face like Fabio Fognini, Murray’s matchup in the second round of t...

The 49ers Had A Great Time Humiliating Baker Mayfield
This has been said many times before, but the Cleveland Browns asked for this. All the hype and shit-talking that followed them throughout the preseason set them up precisely for the kind of embarrassing loss they had last night. Not only did the 49ers beat them 31-3, they took every opportunity to ...

Maybe The 49ers Are Good <i>And </i>The Browns Are Bad
The Cleveland Browns’ dewy preseason vainglory wouldn’t be especially bothersome had it not (a) convinced people that sucking for a long time is shrewd and reasonable; and (b) compelled whoever’s in charge to slot the Browns in four primetime games this season. Monday night, the joke was on them. Th...