owns Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Look At This Dumb Shit Brett Gardner Did To Himself
Yankees outfielder Brett Gardner has had a pretty rough season so far, so you can’t blame him for being mad about the fact that he had what looked like a sure extra-base hit taken away from him by Indians right fielder Jordan Luplow. What you can blame him for is busting his own lip open like a damn...
PBA Game Derailed By Nut Shot, Clothesline, Two Dance Interludes
If you’ve been wondering what happened to former Kentucky stud and NBA role player Terrence Jones, buddy, do I have an update for you....
Twins Broadcaster Bert Blyleven Calls For The Destruction Of Tropicana Field After The Park Stole Another Homer From Miguel Sano
While the Rays were unable to stop the red-hot Twins from getting a win on Friday, at least Tropicana Field was once again victorious over Minnesota third baseman Miguel Sano....
Pirates Broadcaster Says Derek Dietrich's Dead Grandpa Would Be Ashamed Of His Home Run Celebrations
This feels like an overreaction. ...
Drake And The Raptors Both Got A Talking-To From The NBA
The Toronto Raptors will host Game 1 of the NBA Finals tonight, and there’s no doubt Drake will be sitting on the sideline. He’s behaved like an unruly dingus courtside in Toronto, blurring the lines between participant and bystander in ways that would make Spike Lee blush. Bucks coach Mike Budenhol...
Drake Cuts Sweaty Promo About How Raptors Fans Are Really Good At Following The Rules
The Raptors beat the Milwaukee Bucks in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals last night, and Drake, the Raptors’ rowdy uncle/human mascot, was not in the building. He was back home in Toronto, watching the game with thousands of Raptors fans in an outdoor square. He was so excited after the win t...
Davey Martinez's Meltdown Saved Him From Watching Yet Another Nationals Bullpen Disaster
The Nationals, sitting at 19–31 on the season and having won just one series since mid-April, very much have the look of a pile of crap. It’s not clear that the organization has accepted this as anything other than a phase, but the time is fast approaching when denial will no longer be possible. Unl...
Chris Broussard Gets In His Car, Loudly Defends Himself From Kevin Durant
At some point on Wednesday, as nationwide support for the meteor intensified, Fox Sports scoopster Chris Broussard balanced his phone on the dashboard of his car and defended himself from Kevin Durant’s attacks on his credibility. At the end of the day, this is about ethics in pettiness....
The Orioles Should Consider Getting A Restraining Order Against Gleyber Torres
Gleyber Torres socked a solo dinger in the fifth inning of Wednesday’s Yankees-Orioles game, a muscular, opposite-field job that just cleared the Camden Yards scoreboard. The blast put the Yankees up 7–2; they’d go on to win 7–5. There was nothing particularly special or noteworthy about this home r...
Rich Hill, On The Shift: "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Goddammit! Fuck!"
With two down in the bottom of the first inning of Wednesday night’s Dodgers-Rays game, Rays first baseman Ji-man Choi leaned over and bunted a first-pitch fastball from Dodgers starter Rich Hill up the third baseline for a single. This worked because the Dodgers had shifted their infield to the rig...
Biased Umpire Brazenly Interferes In Fiercely Contested Anthem Standoff
I don’t know how the Miami Marlins can possibly trust the umpire crew working their Wednesday night game against the Detroit Tigers, after this blatant display of partisanship by Fieldin Culbreth during the anthem standoff between Daniel Stumpf and Sandy Alcantara....
Report: That Scuzzy Deal Between The Mets And Yahoo Has Not Gotten Off To A Great Start
Remember way back in February, when Yahoo and the Mets announced a new partnership that, even in an era defined by flop-sweaty digital media ideas, was particularly flop-sweaty? The idea was this: Yahoo would launch a subscription-based site covering the Mets and only the Mets, and that site would f...
Kevin Durant Still Hasn't Logged Off
Seen through the lens of his Drakification, Kevin Durant seems to have entered the “Jaded” period of his NBA career. In “Jaded,” Drake croons about an ex whom he is dismayed to see doing well without him. Durant likely feels similar watching the Warriors blow past their Western Conference opponents ...
Drake Has Become The Rowdy Uncle Of The Raptors
“In the Six cooking with the wrist motion,” Drake rapped prophetically in 2015. “The Six” refers to Toronto’s area code. “Wrist motion” refers to the stress relief he offered Raptors coach Nick Nurse late in their Game 4 Eastern Conference Finals win....
Trail Blazers In Petty Feud With Local Publication Over Powerfully Inane Blog Post
If, or more realistically, when the Portland Trail Blazers are eliminated, it will mark the end of the deepest playoff run for the franchise in almost 20 years. They should be focusing on this triumph, and what it portends for the future. Instead, the organization is picking a petty fight with a lo...
Idiot Portsmouth Fan Arrested For Hitting Sunderland Player Who Fell Into The Stands
In the lower levels of English soccer, fans often are nasty, brutish, and short-tempered. We saw evidence of this in March when an idiot stormed the field mid-game to sucker-punch a player, and we saw even more yesterday, when a Portsmouth fan punched and kicked Sunderland’s Luke O’Nien after the pl...
Padres' Ian Kinsler Appears To Celebrate Dinger By Yelling "Fuck All You" At The Home Crowd
Ian Kinsler hit a three-run dinger in the sixth inning Thursday night to put his Padres up a run, 4–3, over the visiting Pittsburgh Pirates. That’s good, dingers are cool, who among us doesn’t get pumped and jacked by a mighty dinger? Do you want to get pumped and jacked? Feast your eyes on this suc...
The Mastermind Behind The College Admissions Scandal Used To Be A Crazy Middle School Basketball Coach
The members of a middle school basketball team that represented a Jewish Community Center in Omaha, Nebraska, were not expecting the 2001 season to be an auspicious one. The previous season had produced mediocre results, and there was no reason to expect much of an improvement going forward. That al...
It's Political
Tiger Woods went to the White House last week to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom from Donald Trump. As is the case whenever a notable celebrity willingly enters the orbit of our white supremacist president, this raised plenty of questions about Woods’s political leanings. Does he agree wit...