owns Page 55 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Everton Really Fucked Up This Fifth-Division Team, 22-0
Everton decided to take on a fifth-division Austrian team, ATV Irdning, ostensibly because they were the closest 11 sentient beings in the area. The offseason friendly took place in Austria, where Everton have a training ground in picturesque Bad Mitterndorf, a few miles up the road from the home...
Carlos Gomez Can't Hit The Ball, But He Can Hit This Water Cooler
Tampa Bay Rays outfielder Carlos Gomez is hitting .197 on the year, and the strikeout he picked up in his first at-bat of today’s game won’t help matters. But at least Gomez is batting 1.000 against stationary water coolers....
Former Tigers Pitching Coach Claims He Was Fired For Calling A White Player "Spider Monkey"
Tigers pitching coach Chris Bosio was fired on Wednesday, just a few months into his first season, for what the team called “insensitive comments” to a team employee. Those around the Tigers organization have stayed remarkably tight-lipped about what it was that Bosio said, but WXYZ first reported t...
Barstool Sports Founder Tells Employee She'll Be Too Ugly To Be On Camera In Five Years
During yesterday’s edition of Barstool Radio, a show enjoyed exclusively by Deloitte interns who wish they were still in college, Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy said that one of his employees, 20-year-old Ria Ciuffo, would be too ugly to continue as an on-camera personality in five years. “She...
Tigers Pitching Coach Fired For Making "Insensitive Comments" To A Team Employee
The Detroit Tigers announced today that pitching coach Chris Bosio has been fired. The official statement from the club didn’t offer much explanation beyond the fact that Bosio had said something insensitive:...
The Mets And Pirates Managed To Empty The Benches For No Reason At All
What happened between the Mets and Pirates in New York last night doesn’t qualify as a brawl or even a fracas, but it did constitute one of the silliest bench-clearings in recent memory....
17 Years Ago Today, Lloyd McClendon Stole First Base
True manager meltdowns feel like a thing of the past. Oh, sure, once in a while someone’s ass ends up in the jackpot, but those are few and far between these days. So let’s treasure the ones we get, and never forget the greats. Like then–Pirates manager Lloyd McClendon getting so upset over a close ...
Getty Images Apologizes For Getting Horny Over World Cup Fans
The World Cup is a time to feel great pride for your country, to find an excuse to drink before noon, and to appreciate the athletic feats of some of the finest athletes on the planet. If you work at Getty Images, it is also a time to scope out hot babes in the stands and get all horned up....
Weird FS1 Segment: Say What You Will About Joseph Stalin, But He Had A Sick House
Today’s World Cup coverage on Fox Sports 1 featured a short segment produced by National Geographic, in which a reporter gave viewers a light-hearted tour of Joseph Stalin’s dacha while going to some remarkable lengths to avoid mentioning that Stalin was a brutal dictator who was responsible for the...
Barstool Sports Stooges Try To Explain Why Corey Lewandowski's "Womp Womp" Was Actually Funny
On Tuesday, former Donald Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski displayed a shocking lack of humanity when he went on Fox News and responded to a story about a 10-year-old migrant girl with Down Syndrome being taken away from her mother at a border facility by saying, “womp womp” in a mocking ton...
Baker Mayfield Turns Colin Cowherd Into A Punching Bag
Cleveland Browns draft pick Baker Mayfield, who will have some kind of documentary series air on Fox next month, has frequently been criticized by rat boy Colin Cowherd. That part in between the commas is presumably why Mayfield appeared today on The Herd, where he handed Cowherd’s ass to him when t...
Celtics Great Kevin McHale Enjoys Old Feeling Of Being In An Arena Full Of Screaming Bigots
Donald Trump held one of his insane rallies in Duluth, Minn., on Wednesday night, and he was joined by thousands of angry ghouls who got to enjoy an evening getting intoxicated on white grievance. Among those in the crowd was ... Celtics legend Kevin McHale!...
<i>Boston Globe</i> Columnist Gets Three-Month Unpaid Suspension For Marathon Bombing Story Fabrications
The Boston Globe has concluded its reviews of columnist Kevin Cullen’s work and will suspend him for three months without pay, after WEEI radio host Kirk Minihane scrutinized Cullen’s column on the anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombings and found several inconsistencies....
Ed Werder Bravely Speaks For All The Men Who Don't Have Jobs In Sports Media
Sports Illustrated is looking to hire an entry-level news writer—an hourly position for 40 hours a week—but Ed Werder is explicitly not allowed to apply for the job, and if he does he’ll be chemically sterilized and thrown into a lion pit, as per company policy....
USGA Says It "Deeply Regrets" Violent Sex Commentary On U.S. Open Broadcast
The USGA is apologizing for Fox Sports’s U.S. Open broadcast yesterday, which featured two men talking about violent sex:...
![Cheatin' Phil Mickelson Melting Down At The U.S. Open [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/vjykjo3akcwxchpgfwys.gif)
Cheatin' Phil Mickelson Melting Down At The U.S. Open [UPDATE]
Phil Mickelson was already ten-over at the U.S. Open before putting up a ten-spot on the par-4 13th thanks to some putt-putt style cheatery....
Darren Rovell On Fake Headline He Wrote 12 Hours Earlier: "It’s Just Really Bad"
Darren Rovell, an AI who aims to drive Earth’s entire population insane through the banality of its observations, launched yet another attack on our psyches last night:...
Hue Jackson Tries To Motivate Browns By Inadvertently Making Their Helmets Look Cooler
Anyone paying attention to Browns training camp—so, nobody beyond a group of irascible, underpaid beat writers—may have noticed that the players’ equipment looks a little different. The brown and white stripes that go across the middle of the helmet are missing. In a surprising deviation from everyt...
![Mychal Kendricks, On Potentially Joining The Browns: [String Of Expletives]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/zanil3qihzvz2q5i0mud.jpg)
Mychal Kendricks, On Potentially Joining The Browns: [String Of Expletives]
This is probably just what happens when it is suggested publicly that a self-respecting football player would play for the Cleveland Browns if he had any other choice:...
Police: Richie Incognito Was In "Altered, Paranoid State" During Gym Meltdown
Richie Incognito was placed on “involuntary psychiatric hold” yesterday after police responded to a 911 call at a gym in Boca Raton, Fla. where Incognito was said to be accosting staff and another patron. Local police have since released their report from the incident, in which they say Incognito wa...