pain Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tomorrow's Brazil-Spain Confederations Cup Final Is All About Neymar
The Confederations Cup doesn't really matter. The games are scrimmages, and tomorrow's result between Brazil and Spain will have no bearing whatsoever on the World Cup. The tournament is just a dry run to make sure Brazil's stadiums and services will be able to handle next year's influx of fans. Wha...

Spain Beats Italy After Epic Penalty Kick Shootout
Today, Spain played Italy in the semifinal of the Confederations Cup. It was a great game, likely the best of the tournament, because for the first time in years, Spain looked vulnerable. Italy countered Spain's dominance in possession by countering quickly when they won the ball, attacking through ...

MS Paint Contest: Design A Better Toronto NBA Team
New GM Masai Ujiri is already cleaning house, and there's speculation that the Raptors, approaching their 20th season, could be in for a full rebranding. New uniforms, new colors...even a new name? Here's where you come in....

UEFA Got A New Member Today
Gibraltar, a British territory on the southern tip of Spain, was accepted as a full member of UEFA at today's meetings of European soccer's governing body. It's the culmination of a 16-year push for international recognition, a quest fiercely opposed by Spain at every turn....

Michael Bay's Ode To Meatheads: <em>Pain & Gain</em>, Reviewed.
There are many movies that could have been made from the raw materials of Pain & Gain, which is based on a series of outrageous Miami New Times articles about three dimwit Florida bodybuilders who in 1994 kidnapped a rich local businessman and stripped him of all his assets. Some filmmakers, for exa...

No Holds Are Barred When It Comes To The Duke-UNC Rivalry, Including Brutal Lacrosse Nutshots
Discussion of the Tobacco Road rivalry between Duke and North Carolina usually focuses on basketball, but the two teams have long had a national presence in men's lacrosse. Both squads are ranked again this season, and last night's 11-8 Blue Devils victory in Chapel Hill wasn't without the bitter, t...

Brewers GM Hospitalized After Scorpion Sting
Do you want to know why Florida should stop worrying about losing its spring-training teams to Arizona? This. This is why....

World Number One Rory McIlroy Walked Off The Course Because He Was Having A Mental Breakdown His Teeth Hurt
Yesterday, reigning PGA champ Rory McIlroy walked off the course at the Honda Classic in Florida after a day of subpar golf, eight holes into a second round for which he was already seven strokes over par. As reporters trailed him on his way out, he said he was in a "bad place mentally," which doesn...

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
As in past years, the Sun Sentinel has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity. ...

Former Racehorse Retires To A Quiet Life Of Painting
Metro was once a racehorse who won more than $300,000 in prize money at tracks like Saratoga and Belmont. These days, having retired with bad knees, Metro spends his days hanging around a stable in Rocky Ridge, Md., eating hay and dabbling in abstract painting....

Why Did LSU Airbrush Out The Crosses Painted On These Dudes' Chests?
What you see above are two different versions of the same photo. The photo was taken at a recent LSU football game and the students in the picture are members of a Christian cheering section known as the Painted Posse. The original version (on the bottom) shows the students with crosses painted on ...

This Is What It's Like To Be A Pirates Fan Today
We got a tip tonight from Albert at 8:20 p.m. and 50 seconds:...

Cristiano Ronaldo Has A Sad
Oh noes! Ronaldo is "sad," and no one knows why. Not his teammates, not his bosses, and surely not the media, who have speculated that it could be anything from dissatisfaction with his contract to missing out on Player of the Year award to rifts in the locker room to the anniversary of his father's...

The Toronto Maple Leafs Are Encouraging Their Own Fans To "Watch Paint Dry Live!"
Ah, those self-deprecating Canadians. If you love watching a Zamboni resurface the ice—and who doesn't?—here's your chance to watch some folks apply paint to the subsurface, live. Apparently this means hockey season might be starting sometime?...
![Bull Gores The Shit Out Of Matador [Possibly NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17w9lb5z6wy8djpg.jpg)
Bull Gores The Shit Out Of Matador [Possibly NSFW]
This is the moment Fernando Cruz took a horn halfway through his abdomen, at a Madrid bull ring on Wednesday. Cruz received a couple of gores, to his stomach and abdomen, with both horns. If you're not a fan of killing animals for sport, maybe you're applauding this news. We're not about to call you...

Talk About The USA's Possible Impending Loss Of Sovereignty To Spain Here
That's how it works, right? Going into the third, Team USA is up one and looking vulnerable. If you can tear your eyes away long enough to yak, let's do so. Ooh, hard foul from Rudy Fernandez! Get that shit out of here....

The Women's Field Hockey Gold Medal Match Was Even Bloodier Than The Semifinals
We already showed you this brutal connection between hockey stick and face, and it happened again during today's gold medal match between Holland and Argentina. The Netherlands ended up taking gold with a 2-0 win, but injury was added to insult when Argentina's Mariela Scarone let her face get in...

Nic Batum Delivered A Mighty Nutshot To Juan Carlos Navarro In The Closing Moments Of Today's France-Spain Game
Spain knocked France out of the Olympic men's basketball tournament, though the French team delivered a final blow—in the form of a Nic Batum punch to Juan Carlos Navarro's nether-regions....

Nigeria Is Changing The Channel: Foreign Olympics News That Did Not Move Bob Costas
With Zooming In, Deadspin and Gelf Magazine bring you the best (or at least the most interesting) foreign-produced journalism about the London Olympics. ...

Here Is The Goal That Knocked Gold Medal Favorite Spain Out Of The London Olympics
On July 1 of this year, Spain drubbed Italy 4-0 to win Euro 2012 and many were talking about the team being the best ever. Less than a month later, this goal from Honduras—less than 10 minutes into the match—eliminated Spain from the Olympics. They will return home after group play concludes on We...