pain Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
It’s Christmas Day, and you know what that means: time to plumb the depths of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits. We’re looking for the weirdest, least explicable, and most awkward objects that America has shoved inside its various holes. God bless us, ev...
Sergi Roberto's Stunning Emergence Proves Barcelona Are Firing On All Cylinders
Of everything that happened in this Clásico—a half-strength Barcelona waltzing into the Bernabéu and not only beating a full-strength Real Madrid team that desperately needed a win, but pummeling them in gloriously humiliating fashion; the notoriously careful Rafa Benítez basically being pressured b...
French Media Calls In Body Language Expert To Divine Ronaldo's Secret Intentions
Every couple years, the European media works itself into a bubbly froth about Cristiano Ronaldo’s future. We’re now in the thick of yet another foamy period, and perhaps because his departure might actually be imminent this time, the papers are going to absurd lengths to search for clues....
Ref Chosen For <i>El Clásico</i> Claims He Was Ordered To Favor Real Madrid
A Spanish referee has filed a complaint with local police, claiming that upon notice that he was to be selected as the line judge in next month’s Real Madrid-Barcelona match, his bosses made it clear that he was to make decisions in favor of the Madrid club....
Spain Files Legal Appeal Against Qatar's Winter World Cup
Before Swiss agents rolled up on Zurich’s Baur au Lac hotel, snatched a handful of top FIFA execs, and put in motion the series of events that would culminate in their president’s resignation, soccer’s governing body seemed pretty much omnipotent. That day has changed, thankfully, and people are mak...
Spain's Women's Team Is A Catastrophe, And It Doesn't Need To Be
In the week since the players for the Spanish women’s national team released their open letter requesting the firing of manager Ignacio Quereda, more and more has come to light about just how officious and reprehensible his leadership has been over the entirety of his 27 years in charge....
Spain Players Call Out Poor WWC Preparation, Request Manager's Firing
There’s no better proof of Spain’s lack of respect for women’s soccer than the continued employment of head coach Ignacio Quereda. Despite never qualifying for the Olympics, never qualifying for the World Cup prior to this one, and only even making it to the Euro Championship finals twice in 27 year...
Spain's Goalkeeper Mortified After Giving Up World Cup-Ending Goal
Yeah, that has to suck....
Women's World Cup Group E Preview: Oodles Of Attacking Midfielders
Here’s everything you need to know about Group E....
It's Their First World Cup, But Don't Count Spain Out Just Yet
Among World Cup teams, Spain are an anomaly; a debutant with the potential to advance deep in the tournament, or at least to knock off a heavyweight. If you are surprised that a country with as rich of a soccer heritage as Spain has never before qualified for the World Cup, well, let me introduce yo...
Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow
Ryan Jimmo took a Francimar Barroso kick straight to the crotch, leading to a delay during their light heavyweight bout at tonight’s UFC Fight Night....
Italian Paper Alleges FIFA Used Corrupt Refs To Fix 2002 World Cup Games
The 2002 World Cup hosted jointly by South Korea and Japan was already infamous for its horrendous refereeing, most notably two knockout stage match-ups involving South Korea. Today, one Italian paper has linked what was widely believed to be match-fixing behavior back then to this current FIFA scan...
T-Pain Is Back
There was a time in the early-mid 2000s when you couldn't turn on the radio without hearing a T-Pain song, but then he pretty much went silent for the four years following the flop of his last album, Revolver. Today, he dropped the DJ Drama-hosted mixtape The Iron Way, and I think it's safe to say T...
Cincinnati Forces Overtime With Last Gasp Layup
I—and everybody else, surely—was screaming "SHOOT THE DAMN BALL ALREADY" at Cincinnati's Troy Caupain as he seemingly took an eternity to attempt and tie the ballgame. But Caupain's internal clock had Swiss watchmaker-like accuracy, and by golly he was going to use up 7.3 of the 7.4 seconds he had t...
What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?
Consider this the crotch-clenching companion piece to our annual look at American insertion: a collection of the worst penis-related mishaps to befall our great nation last year....
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
It is time for a Deadspin holiday tradition like no other: our annual trawl of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits to discover the strangest, unlikeliest, and most awkwardly shaped objects America inappropriately shoved into its various holes. God bless us...
You're Never Too Old To Ball
Who says ballin' stops when you reach 65? Or even 70. Especially when you live in the land of milk and honey?...
Fran Tarkenton Spent A Season On Now-Banned Horse Painkillers
Earlier this month, federal agents raided the medical staffs of five NFL teams. They were looking for prescription drugs, on the heels of a class-action suit alleging that the NFL has been doping up its players for years, pumping them full of painkillers because it was the only way they could possib...
Meet <em>Marca</em>, The Hilarious Propaganda Arm Of Real Madrid
It's maybe a little difficult for Americans to grasp just how deeply and blatantly in the tank the European press can be for the local XI. And no one is deeper and more blatantly in the tank for the local XI than the media in Spain, where the local XI means either Barcelona and Real Madrid and where...
The Feds Are Very Interested In The NFL's Painkiller Problem
Yesterday, federal drug agents from the Drug Enforcement Administration conducted surprise inspections of the medical staffs of multiple NFL teams. Bags were searched, doctors were questioned, all in the DEA's ongoing probe into claims that football has a major issue with prescription drugs....