pains Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Derik Queen guides Maryland against St. Francis (Pa.)
One of the most positive signs this season for Maryland has been the play of Derik Queen, especially against the toughest teams on the Terrapins' schedule.,While Tuesday's matchup against Saint Francis (Pa.) of the Northeast Conference doesn't figure to be one of Maryland's most challenging tests, i...

Sergio Ramos’s No Good, Terrible, Very Bad Day
Sergio Ramos might be the biggest villain in European soccer, but part of the reason he is that is he’s already won, and you know it. He’s got two European Championship medals, a World Cup, a murder of Champions League trophies, a handful of La Liga titles, and will go down as one of, if not the, be...

Here Is The Goal That Knocked Gold Medal Favorite Spain Out Of The London Olympics
On July 1 of this year, Spain drubbed Italy 4-0 to win Euro 2012 and many were talking about the team being the best ever. Less than a month later, this goal from Honduras—less than 10 minutes into the match—eliminated Spain from the Olympics. They will return home after group play concludes on We...

NFL Network "Obtained" NFLPA Email To Players, Says Story On NFL.com
All that giddy chatter about the NFL lockout possibly ending tonight? Yeah, you can just forget all about that. Here are the top three paragraphs in a story appearing on NFL.com under the headline, "NFLPA expresses displeasure with league in email to player reps" ......

End Of Two-A-Days: The Players Win An Early Labor Battle
It's being framed as Bart Scott playing the contrarian, but that's burying the lede. The real story is the elimination of two-a-day practices in training camp, a change midwifed during these climactic lockout negotiations....

Mike Holmgren Weighs In On The Santa Cruz Dog-Ban Issue
The 35-year-old ban on dogs in downtown Santa Cruz could come to an end next week. Dog owners have money, and the business owners want it. Asked a leading are-you-surprised-there's-a-ban question by KSBW's Phil Gomez, Mike Holmgren of Scotts Valley said, "I'm a little surprised. I didn't know that,...

Today In Sad Pittsburgh Headlines
Pittsburgh to honor Ward's 'Dancing' win on Thursday: "The city of Pittsburgh will hold a rally at noon Thursday to honor Hines Ward's victory in ABC-TV's 'Dancing with the Stars' competition." [Post-Gazette]...

Roger Goodell Is Waving His Dick Around Only Because He Loves Us So Much
Roger Goodell said some bullshit yesterday that, I swear, the Serious Football Media would've tsk-tsked as "counterproductive rhetoric" had anything so disingenuous come out of De Smith's mouth. Here's what the commisioner told Tampa Bay season ticketholders in a conference call:...

The NFL Lockout Court Battle, Explained Via Pretty Word Clouds
Like bright colors? Hate the complexity of legal procedure? Well, not only are you the target audience for the NFL's lockout PR campaign, but you might also enjoy these visualizations we made out of the court documents from Brady et al v. National Football League. Above is a word cloud for all of th...

Phillies Infielder Throws 10-Pitch 19th Inning To Close Out Joey Votto And The Reds
Your morning roundup for May 26, the day after Disney realized that it probably wasn't the best of ideas to trademark American heroes for profit....

The Evil Arrests That Ray Lewis Was Talking About Have Already Started
Free-agent backup running back Garrett Wolfe, late of the Chicago Bears, was charged with retail theft, disorderly conduct, assaulting a police officer and resisting arrest with violence in Miami this morning. This was Wolfe's first newsworthy event since Wednesday when he spoke to the Chicago Sun-...

Today In Great Quotes: Ray Lewis On How Evil Pertains To The Lockout
"Do this research if we don't have a season — watch how much evil, which we call crime, watch how much crime picks up, if you take away our game," Ray Lewis told ESPN's Sal Paolantonio....

Watch ESPN's Doris Burke Flub Her Lines About Oklahoma City Arena
Your morning roundup for May 22, the day some people in North Carolina started taking Pirates of the Caribbean too literally, but not in a cool swashbuckling way or anything....

More Misplaced Rhetoric From Pro Football Talk
De Smith says the NFL is the "first league in the history of sports that has ever sued to not play their game," which, like a lot of slogans, isn't entirely accurate (the NFL hasn't sued), even if it accurately conveys the sense that the NFL is taking great pains to get its lockout. Mike Florio has ...

Today In Intra-Media Twitter Spats
Jason Whitlock of FoxSports.com (@whitlockjason) started it with a Tweet stating, "NFL media, which I am one, scared lockout is damaging their profile. They're panicking and trying to create hysteria (clicks). Too invested." Pro Football Talk's Mike Florio (@profootballtalk) wasn't about to let tha...

The Bizarre Cult Of Pro-Owner NFL Fanboys
Here's a tidy summation of how we've managed to get to where we are with the NFL lockout. A few years ago, the players and owners agreed to a new CBA, with only Ralph Wilson and Mike Brown voting against the agreement, in Wilson's case because he's old and easily confused by things....

Before Returning To Lockout Mode, Every NFL Franchise Decided Against Drafting A Bone-Cancer Survivor
Your morning roundup for May 1, the day after Seth Meyers said Weekend Update stuff to people's faces....

Lockout's Back On (UPDATE: Maybe Sort Of Not Yet)
Sorry, folks....

Your Annual Professional-Football Player-Selection Show Open Thread
Will Cam Newton spray folks with Cammy Cam Juice? Will the Jets faithful turn out en masse? Does anybody involved with, or interested in, tonight's NFL Draft festivities not qualify, in one way or another, as Mr. Irrelevant?...

It's Only A Matter Of Time Before An NFL Team's Financials Are Leaked
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....