parade Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tiger's Former Mistress, Rachel Uchitel, Is "Almost Happy" Her Fiance Died On 9/11
"I'm almost happy it ended the way it did because I've learned so many lessons from him. It would have been tragic if we got into fights and then divorced." [New York Post, via Gawker]...
The NFL "Fineable Offenses" List, As Interpreted By The Underpant Gnomes
Apparently, the National Football League distributed its "list of fineable offenses" to players and others today. Tweeted Vikings kicker Chris Kluwe, "Some scallywag decided to condense the list down," a comment accompanied by photography....
Professional Football Ultimate Fan Association President Hit By Float At Hall Of Fame Parade
The Canton Repository was on the scene when "the Obie the Tiger balloon cruised through the intersection of Tuscarawas Street and Cleveland Avenue just before 9 a.m." Shortly thereafter, the Timken Grand Parade got real....
Today In Great Mugshots
Meet Tammy Hinton, a 53-year-old gal who police were trying to track down for three years on an identity-theft warrant. Somebody narked that she'd be back in Michigan for her wedding. So, Johnny Law swooped down on the City of Zion Ministries accordingly....
Arian Foster Stays In Shape By Riding A Mechanical Bull While Jared From Subway Looks On
Houston Texans running back Arian Foster rode a mechanical bull for a Subway-promotion-cum-charity-thing on Thursday. Jared looked on, with some other dude, and perhaps no one else....
Mother, Escalator, Crowd Team Up To Ensure Boy's Sock Looks Like Schilling's Before Bruins Parade
The Bruins Stanley Cup parade didn't go as well as Jennifer Nottage, her six-year-old daughter Alyana and 12-year-old son Elijah had hoped. Here's Nottage's email account of what happened on a commuter-rail stop's escalator, courtesy of Universal Hub:...
Bruins Owner Used Today's Stanley Cup Parade To Rip On Cam Neely For Never Winning One As A Player
There are two things to consider about this snippet from Jeremy Jacobs's speech at today's celebration in Boston: 1) Why didn't George Steinbrenner use World Series parades in 1996, 1998, 1999, 2000 and 2009 to remind the world that Donnie Baseball doesn't have a ring and 2) Did team President Sea...
Big Yankees Fan, Caught In An Inception Haze, Took Batting Practice In The Bronx
Say what you will about Michael LaPayower, but you can't say he's not committed the cause. Whatever that cause may be....
This Is One Way To Get Out Of Your Impending Wedding
To tell the Tale of Topless, Stimulant-Riddled, About-To-Be-Married "Sasha S," not much more beyond the "Drugged-up bodybuilder causes road carnage" headline is necessary. Well, other than the kicker:...
A Bunch Of People Came Up With $25K So UConn Basketball Players Can Ride On Parade Floats After All
Yesterday, Mike Zaleski, executive director of the Hartford Business Improvement District, said if he couldn't get his fingers wrapped around $25K by Friday, there would be no parade to commemorate the victors of one of the worst college-basketball championship games in the history of round object...
Either Somebody Comes Up With $25K By Friday Or UConn's Championship Parade Is Off
It's one thing to win what ranks among the worst men's college basketball championship games ever. It's another thing altogether to have to ask the city of Hartford or the state of Connecticut to pony up some coin to have a parade to accompany "the scheduled celebration for the team at the state Ca...
NYC Already Planning Yankees World Series Parade
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
The Tiger Woods Sex Tape Has Been Bought, Says Woman In Sex Tape That May Not Exist
Devon James has allegedly sold a sex tape—that no one else has seen—in which she co-stars with Tiger Woods and from which she'll receive half the profits. Quoth the lady, "It's going to be the bomb." Word. [Radar]...
For Sale: Tiger Woods Sex Tape: $350,000
That's what Mistress # +/- 11, Devon James, claims is the cost for 67 minutes of filthy coitus between her and Eldrick (and a third party) from 2008. She claims if Vivid doesn't buy it, she'll release it independently. [RadarOnline]...
If a Bull Gores Someone in Pamplona When Everybody's Watching Soccer, Does the Wound Bleed?
Not a good weekend for bulls internationally....
Asshole Kids Try Their Best To Ruin Blackhawks Victory Parade
Reader Paul attended today's Blackhawks victory parade in downtown Chicago. Instead of seeing Patrick Kane get nice and toasty, he saw asshole teenagers doing what asshole teenagers do best: be asshole teenagers. His story, a video, and more photos after the jump....
Patrick Kane: A Portrait In Inebriation
Via NBC Chicago, here's a compilation of Kaner during the Blackhawks' victory parade today in Chicago. Watch him chug champagne, catch crowd beers, drink from the Cup, and slur his speech with the moxie of a 10-year veteran. Video inside....
A Roundup Of Zombie Earl Woods Commercial Parodies (LOTS MORE UPDATES)
After the debut of Tiger's new commercial, it was inevitable that the spot would be parodied over and over again, with varying levels of success. Here are a bunch of the good ones....
Nike Unveils Weird New Tiger Ad, Starring Zombie Earl Woods
Nothing moves athletic apparel like bringing a dead man back to life to talk solemnly about his son's wandering schlong. [YouTube]...