park Page 40 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"People Were Having Sex In The Penalty Box," And Other Shitshow Details From The Report On The BU Ice Hockey Team
The task force report released earlier this week about the Boston University ice hockey team's "culture of sexual entitlement" withheld the finding's explicit details from the public. The Boston Globe has obtained those details, which were based on testimonials from players, students, and others, an...
Happy NFL Opening Day! The CDC Says Football Players Are Three Times More Likely To Die From Degenerative Brain Disease.
Let no one say the Centers for Disease Control's PR department doesn't have a wicked sense of timing. They chose today, the day of the NFL Kickoff 2012 presented by Bud Light, to release a study confirming that no, football is not good for you, and yes, it will leave your brain a quivering porous ma...
Man Escorted Out Of Comerica Park For Being So Drunk He May Have Pissed Himself
Here, for your convenience, are all the classic signs of a person who has had too much to drink. Wobbly knees. Friend struggling to help the person home. Others delighting in the person's misfortune. A brush with law enforcement. Oh, and piss-soaked shorts. [Sweater Punch]...
Phillies' Sellout Streak, Which Was Fake Anyway, Ends At 257 Games
Last night, an announced crowd of 41,665 showed up to Citizen Bank Park to watch the listless Phillies put up a token effort against Atlanta, a 6-1 loss that put them 14 games out of a wild card spot. It was the smallest crowd of the year, and the first time since July 2009 the Phillies failed to se...
The First-Ever Horse Race Called By An Announcer On Helium
It was "Extreme Race Day" at Minnesota's Canterbury Park, a designation that seems to mean different things from year to year. This time around, it meant ostrich races, camel races, and in the ninth, track announcer Paul Allen taking hits of helium throughout....
Do Not Wear Giants Gear To An Oakland A's Game Or A Saint Bernard May Try To Bite You
Bark At The Park night in MLB stadiums is the exact opposite of Parks & Rec day: instead of the stadium being full of snotty kids, it is instead filled with a bunch of cute dogs. The evening didn't go so well for this Giants fan, though, whose attempt to cozy up with a Saint Bernard appeared to ha...
Disenfranchise Mode: The Exhausting, Infuriating, Totally Addictive Baseball Simulation Game That Imitates Life Too Well
The summer after my freshman year of college, I told somebody's mother that I wouldn't be attending her son's funeral. I remember the moment, if not the conversation, with great clarity. I was working in my dad's shop, filling orders for spare bike rack parts, when my phone rang. My hands were stick...
Drunken German Soccer Fans Cheer On Person Trying To Parallel Park Tiny Car
That parking spot is just big enough for a Fiat Citroen VTS, and to actually make it work is that much more challenging in front of a helpful group like this....
Reds Prospect Billy Hamilton's Legend Continued After Hitting This Inside-The-Park Homer
The story of this minor league season has been Reds shortstop prospect Billy Hamilton, who after stealing 104 bases in 82 games with the Bakersfield Blaze, earned a call-up to the AA Pensacola Blue Wahoos. (He also turned some heads during the All-Star Break Futures Game along the way.)...
Did An ESPN Anchor Need To Apologize For An Astros "Trailer Park Day" Joke?
Car seats are used to safely secure children inside of automobiles. They are not baseball gloves and should not be used for such a purpose. When SportsCenter showed the highlight of a Houston Astros fan attempting to utilize such a device for exactly that, an exasperated Bram Weinstein asked, "Is ...
Was Kate Upton Drunk At Last Night's Tigers Game?
Michigan native and Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kate Upton showed up at last night's Tigers-Royals bout at Comerica Park, partying in Justin Verlander's suite and launching a Twitterstorm....
Instagram Photos From The Brooklyn Cyclones' "Williamsburg Night"
It was Williamsburg Night at MCU Park, home of the Brooklyn Cyclones, a hipster-friendly mashup of the usual minor league quirkiness and a particular local flair. (And probably super-familiar for attendees, since they all moved to Brooklyn from the Midwest three years ago, amirite?) Among the promot...
There's Some Tim Lincecum Voodoo Going On At The Marlins' Bobblehead Museum
We've already highlighted the horrors of Marlins Park's Bobblehead Museum, featuring a moving glass case that keeps the heads bobbling...ever bobbling. But there, in some severed ceramic, may lie the answer to Tim Lincecum's struggles....
Tony Parker Says His Eye Was 99 Percent Punctured By Flying Glass In The Drake/Chris Brown Nightclub Melee
Some snarky bloggers cracked jokes a few weeks ago about what happened to Tony Parker's cornea in the bottle-throwing smackdown between Chris Brown, Drake, and their entourages. Parker showed up to a press conference in sunglasses, said he was fine and that his eye would heal in a week....
Chipper Jones, Your Ass Makes Women Go Crazy
A little moment of levity to break up all the dark vibes floating around would be nice, yes? Well, you can thank this woman sitting in the front row at Shithole Fenway Park watching Chipper take some hacks in the on-deck circle. Chipper is in the middle of his goodbye tour and it appears one fan w...
Tony Parker's Cornea Becomes The Tragic Collateral Damage Of The Chris Brown-Drake Throwdown
Noted musicians Drake and Chris Brown threw down at WIP, a club in New York, earlier this week. We, as everyone else does, have Drake's back. Everyone had questions: To what extent did Brown taunt Drake about Rihanna-related matters? How did Drake respond? And what, oh what, was Meek Mill's role in ...
A Man Flying A Jetpack Showed Up To The Giants Game Last Night
Oh, Matt Cain threw a perfect game? Sorry, didn't notice. Was too busy having my head explode after seeing a secret agent fly around the Bay on his personal water-powered jetpack. This was the first inning. You knew it was going to be a special game....
Would You Like To Buy 162 Chan Ho Park Rookie Cards? Well, Today Is Your Lucky Day
Not too long ago we treated you to a very important update about Chan Ho Park's continuing career as a South Korean baseball player and rapper/insurance pitchman....
An Idiot On The Field In Detroit Today Tried To High-Five Nick Swisher
The final out of today's Yankees-Tigers matchup at Comerica Park was delayed by a (fully-clothed) fan who took advantage of lax/slow/forgiving security and roamed around the field for close to a minute....
Chan Ho Park Is Bad At Rapping, Good At Poking Himself In The Eye
Hey, have you been wondering what Chan Ho Park is up to these days? Me neither! But that matters little to Chan Ho Park, who is currently back in his home country of South Korea, pitching for the Hanwha Eagles, and living the life of a fucking boss. Well, at least as far as life insurance commerci...