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This Is Not Alexander Ovechkin's Strip Club Receipt
Like any young rich athlete, Alex Ovechkin likes to have a good time, but there are probably enough actual crazy stories about him out there that people don't need to be making them up....

Breaking: Some Sports Franchises More Equal Than Others
"Don't get me wrong I love America," a reader writes. Whatever Wen Ho, think I don't get my fill of pinkos whining about Fox over at Torture Points Memo?...

Teacher Takes High School Cheerleaders To Strip Club, Hilarity Ensues
So you're a teacher who takes four high school cheerleaders on a field trip to a gay male strip club that serves them alcohol, and suddenly you're fired? It just doesn't seem fair....

More Top Cheese From Our Favorite Lacrosse Emailer
Perhaps you've seen this amusing email that's been making the rounds, authored by a former college lacrosse player who's looking for a spot on a club team. Well, he's authored another one....

Like Most Gentlemen, Pacman Jones Is A Fan Of The Young And The Nude
Pacman Jones has found himself an ally in Fox Sports 'Jay Glazer, who's almost ashamed to admit that he's become a Pacman fan while taping Pros Vs. Joes with him....

No Rest For The Cysted
Poor A-Rod. He's just looking for some quiet time in Vail while getting his hip drained, or labrum re-attached, or toenail scraped, or whatever ailment he has, and then a nosy local snapped this photo....

And The No. 1 College Sports Town In The Nation Is ...
Ann Arbor. Which narrowly beats out Palo Alto, home to quiet, bucolic Stanford University. [Forbes]...

Super Bowl Sub-Plot #5: The Strip Clubs Of Tampa
There are several key storylines that will beaten into the ground by everyone who covers the Super Bowl over the next week. We will beat them down even further....

Adam "Pacman" Jones: "I Like-A The Strip Clubs"
If you missed the CBS pregame—and I wouldn't blame you—you missed an enlightening interview with Adam Jones about his current legal troubles and the all-important question: What's up with all the strip clubs?...

Titans Cheerleader Will Reanimate Your Lifeless Tissue
Melissa Hodges is not only a Tennessee Titans cheerleader, but she's also a full-time molecular neuroscience researcher at Vanderbilt University. Hmm. You'd think she could have helped Vince Young....

Kings Rookie Hazings Tend To Be Delicious
Maybe next time Sacramento Kings rookie Jason Thompson will bring the bagels. Or at least some hot butter. [Sactown Royalty]...

Happy Holidays From The 1986 Dallas Cowboys
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call needs your help. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

Mike Tomlin Thinks Your Holiday Gimmicks Are Stupid And Tiresome
Apparently, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin's harmless "if it will get you out of here" to this man dressed in a red suit has resulted in this AP story making him out to be a joyless anti-Santa. It's purely coincidental Steelers announced that there will be no more visits from Santa during press conferen...

Do Not Watch Unless You Feel Like Screaming
This is from this past weekend's New Orleans bowl, where Southern Miss receiver DeAndre Brown's leg just...stopped working. Brown is 6-6, 230 pounds of can't-miss NFL prospect. Amazingly, after successful surgery on Sunday night to repair the "clean break", he still might not miss anytime in 2009....

Jeff Garcia Gets Rattled (and Bloodied) By The Rush
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call needs your help. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call. Tough day for the Buccaneers, whose playoff chances just became more difficult courtesy of the surging San Diego Chargers. Tough day for Jeff ...

The Pigeon Had It Coming
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Charles Barkley Apologizes For Speaking The Truth
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call needs your help. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

Stephon Marbury Just Can't Stop Smiling, Making Knicks Uncomfortable
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call needs your help. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call...

Buzzer-Beaters Of The Gods ... Plus, Post-Game Microphone Carnage
Who hasn't dreamed at one time or another of doing this? The long 3 to win it ... ohhhhh! They're going crazy at the Carrier Dome! (Your fantasy may or may not include topless cheerleaders)....

Antonio Pierce Has Got Those Hands That Feel
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call needs your help. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....