pe Page 1000 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<i>Silent House</i> And The Rise Of The Gimmicky Horror Movie
On Friday, the horror movie Silent House comes out. One of its selling points is that it stars Elizabeth Olsen—who was terrific last year in a very different sort of horror film, Martha Marcy May Marlene—but probably the hook that will be most intriguing to genre fans is that the whole movie takes p...
While Messi Was Scoring Five Goals, Cristiano Ronaldo's $300,000 Lamborghini Was Getting Towed
Remember when "Messi or Ronaldo" was like, a thing? Feel silly these days, don't we....
Jose Canseco Will Not Play In The Mexican League Because He Can't Pass A Drug Test
When he's not periodically melting down or being the huggiest person on Twitter, Jose Canseco still plays the occasional game of baseball. Last year he was player/coach of the independent Yuma Scorpions (a position not without its risks), and this year was to be a step up in the world: the Mexican L...
Does Peyton Manning In A Yankees Jersey Mean He's Thinking About Playing For The Jets?
Or is the fact that he was 5 years old at the time just mean he's ready to conquer kindergarten? Also, Archie's pants....
Peyton Manning Should Sign With Every Team In The NFL, According To Internet
On Peyton Manning's first day of free agency, the Internet decided he should play ... everywhere: ...
PEYTON MANNING IS IN MIAMI BUT ALSO DENVER IS INTERESTED
Holy shit look at this blurry CBS Miami coptercam shot that's totally Peyton Manning who flew directly to South Florida after his Indy press conference and sure he owns a home there but also the Dolphins play there and the Dolphins might sign Peyton Manning but wait what's this Adam Schefter says th...
Clint Dempsey Is Officially Too Good For Fulham
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...
The U.S. Women's Open Of Bowling Will Be Held Outdoors, In The Least Magical Place On Earth
What you're looking at is an artist's conception of the U.S. Women's Open, which will follow in the footsteps of the NHL's Winter Classic and the NCAA's aircraft carrier game by being held outside, under the desert sun, in downtown Reno, Nevada. I can't think of a better gift for your worst enemy....
The Guy From The Dropkick Murphys Would Like You To Know He Didn't Really Say Jonathan Papelbon Couldn't Use His Entrance Music
Yesterday, ESPN Music(?!) reported that Ken Casey, vocalist for the Dropkick Murphys, did not want Jonathan Papelbon using his old entrance song. That song, "I'm Shipping Up To Boston," is reserved for the Red Sox closer, Casey supposedly said, and now that Papelbon is in Philadelphia, he's no longe...
The End Of Peyton Manning As You Know Him
The Colts have called a press conference for noon today to formally announce the release of Peyton Manning. Manning will be there. Jim Irsay will be there, in between tweeting Bachman-Turner Overdrive lyrics. We've been building to this moment for months now, ever since Manning was unofficially rule...
Peyton Manning Leaves Insanely Good Tips At Restaurants
After he wrapped up his black ops throwing session at Duke, Peyton Manning went and had himself one fine meal with "Dallas Clark and others" at the Angus Barn in Raleigh, according to the friend of a friend named Jon who waited on the Manning party last Friday night. When the bill came just before 1...
Peyton Manning May Sign With The Jets Or Dolphins Or 49ers Or Not
The news is barely a few hours old that the Indianapolis Colts will not pay quarterback Peyton Manning his $28 million roster bonus, thus freeing him to sign with any NFL team next season. You know who's interested in snagging the four-time MVP? Everyone! Well, mostly. A select few would be thrilled...
Western Kentucky Is Going Dancing
Congratulations to the Western Kentucky Hilltoppers, who in beating North Texas 74-70 won the Sun Belt Conference tournament and punched their ticket to the dance. This is the same WKU that lost to a team playing six players then fired its coach for it. [ESPN2]...
42 "Pussy" Shots For £126! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Epic £203,948.80 Bar Tab From A Liverpool Nightclub
Where to begin with this epic bar tab (full version at the bottom)? It's so single-minded, so devoid of nuance. I hate it. When Petchesky first directed my attention to this abomination, which was posted a few places yesterday, I thought it could only belong to one man—Don Johnson, the "champagne ki...
Colts To Cut Peyton Manning
What has two thumbs and won't be a Colt after tomorrow? This guy!...
The Dropkick Murphys Won't Let Jonathan Papelbon Use His Old Entrance Music (Update)
For the longest time (or at least since The Departed made it famous), Jonathan Papelbon has been entering to the bagpipes-and-guitars opening riff of the Dropkick Murphys' "I'm Shipping Up To Boston." It made sense. The song is instantly recognizable, catchy, and it's about Boston....
The NFL Is Sending Mixed Messages On Bounty Games
Yesterday, NFL.com re-uploaded video of Phillip Daniels trying to rip off Peyton Manning's head, a play Tony Dungy has pointed to as the start of Manning's neck problems. Today the NFL Network nixed a scheduled airing of the 2009 NFC Championship Game, in which Brett Favre suffered knee and ankle in...
Red Sox Minor Leaguer Pete Ruiz Has His Own Tim Kurkjian Impression
It's more understated than Blue Jays catcher J.P. Arencibia's, we'll argue. Arencibia's is perhaps funnier—he brought Kurkjian's voice to a comically high pitch—but Ruiz's seems more precise. He's Darrell Hammond to Arencibia's Will Ferrell....
Sob City: Clipper Darrell Breaks Down During TV Interview
We're still not sure what side to take in the Clipper Darrell vs. the Clippers dispute. It's easy to blame the Clippers, since Donald Sterling is such a dick and the timing of all this just so happened to coincide with the Clippers finally tasting success. But maybe Clipper Darrell was being a bit o...
Baron Davis Finally Discusses Being Taunted By Donald Sterling: "I Didn't Even Look Forward To Coming To The Games"
When the news broke more than a year ago that Clippers owner Donald Sterling used to heckle Baron Davis from his courtside seat when Davis was still playing for him, Davis declined to comment. Reports at the time said Sterling's barbs included questioning Davis's shot selection and telling Davis he ...