pe Page 1046 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Iman "Justin Bieber" Shumpert Is Here To Give You Nightmares
Knicks draft pick Iman Shumpert is playing in the Vegas league, and getting salty he's missing New York Fashion Week. He's also filming locker room videos of unspeakable horror. Shumpert and Bieber now have another thing in common, besides both being booed by Knicks fans.[Posting and Toasting]...
The Dumbass Who Blamed Bryan Stow For Getting Beaten Into A Coma Wants To Watch Michael Vick Blow His Knees Out
Writes dumbass John Steigerwald about Michael Vick's $100 million contract, "Here's hoping he blows out his knee on his next snap."...
Kobe Bryant Was Briefly On Twitter Tonight And Like That, He Was Gone
It was a seminal moment, on Sept. 7, 2011, when Kobe Bryant Tweeted "Can you hear me now?!?!" He quickly broke the 10K follower mark. But then, within hours, those followers were greeted by a message declaring "The profile you are trying to view has been suspended" when they checked back to see wha...
If You've Ever Wanted To See Derrick Rose Play With A Taiwanese Hand Puppet, Today's Your Lucky Day
If you have trouble understanding what Derrick Rose of the locked-out Chicago Bulls is talking about at this stop on his Adidas promotional tour, subtitles are provided....
So <em>This</em> Is Why Black People Don't Play Fantasy Football
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at ...
Maryland's Football Helmets Are Awesome, And They Didn't Rip Off A Bunch Of Roller Derby Girls
Nobody—OK, maybe Craggs—is more skeptical and mistrustful of the University of Maryland/Under Armour marketing-and-football partnership than I am. I'm on the record predicting shame and ruin for the athletic department in its pursuit of buzz and glory....
Colts Rule Peyton Manning Out For Sunday Vs. Texans
Well, there you have it: Peyton Manning's consecutive starts streak will end at 208 games (well short of Brett Favre's 297), Rick Reilly will come over and eat things out of your carpet, and Kerry Collins will start....
A Reminder: Rick Reilly Promised To Eat Things Stuck In Your Carpet If Peyton Manning Didn't Start Game 1
Rick Reilly, Aug. 30: "Peyton Manning will keep his streak alive. If you think he's going to miss a start because of a neck problem, you've been chugging paint thinner. This guy hasn't missed a start since 1994 at Tennessee. Do you know how long ago it was when Manning didn't start for the Colts? Go...
Listen As Mardy Fish Calls Jo-Wilfried Tsonga A "Dumbass" During Their U.S. Open Match
Fish doesn't speak French, you see. Though it was Tsonga who eventually ousted Fish, the highest-seeded American, in five sets yesterday....
SprtsCntr: Peyton Manning Has An Ouchie
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Your Miami-Maryland College Football Open Thread
The prime time college football slot on ESPN tonight: Miami at Maryland. They're both unranked, but they're also both recently scandalized, which is really all it takes to make the national broadcast. One has been disgraced by a former booster; one has been disgraced by sponsored clown suits (et cet...
Rafael Nadal's Leg Cramps Made For An Awkward Press Conference Yesterday
This video will make anyone who's ever suffered from a muscle cramp cringe. Rafael Nadal was settling in for a post-match press conference after a straight-set win over David Nalbandian yesterday when he was suddenly hit with the pain of a stiffened calf muscle....
Your MLB Open Thread
Baseball is on! Let's watch others labor while we refrain from laboring. There are 16 games to choose from today, if you need to choose. Unfortunately, it is unlikely that any will feature Storm Troopers as umpire escorts. That time has passed....
Your "Do You Want A Tennis Open Thread?" Open Thread
Labor Day is a perfect "hang around and watch TV" holiday. Tennis fills the background noise-void perfectly. So watch the final 16 men and women whittle themselves down even further, on CBS all day....
Peyton Manning Will Likely Miss His First Career Start On Sunday
...And probably many more: "As a result of the most recent development the doctors have decided that Peyton will not practice. His participation therefore, in Sunday's game versus Houston will likely be doubtful... As was stated at the outset, it serves no useful purpose to speculate about hypotheti...
Ron Artest Has Never Looked More Graceful
Your morning roundup for Sept. 5, the day Arizona (against all odds) got a little bit worse. Photo of Artest at rehearsal via @LakerNation. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
There Was A Guy With A Sock In His Mouth At The U.S. Open This Afternoon
Tipster James M. writes in that, "It's pretty weird! I have people offering $5.62 for this pic but I'm an avid Deadspin reader and I want you guys to break the story so I'm willing to go as low as $3.27."...
Your College Football Night Games Open Thread
Nine Top 25 teams play tonight, including a pair of Top 20 matchups....
Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Skip Holtz will try to beat the team Daddy Lou used to coach! How awesome is that?! So awesome that it's a network game! Oh, pretty much every Notre Dame game is on NBC, you say? Of course it is. Because that's how it was foretold....
Watch An All-Male Dance Troupe Take The Field At Halftime Of The Saints/Titans Game
When it came to the Saints getting throttled by the Titans in the final preseason game of the year the other night, here's what one guy wrote:...