pe Page 1049 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Things Are Going To Be A Little Different In Winnipeg When The Jets Resume NHL Play
The key to understanding what Rob Milette's true role with the Winnipeg Jets will be isn't in knowing the difference between rapists and athletic rapists....

Your NFL Preseason Football Open Thread
Three games tonight. Carolina visits Cincinnati at 7 p.m. eastern. Cleveland heads to Philly a half hour later. And, Washington plays in Baltimore at 8 p.m....

Adrian Peterson Is Enjoying A Favre-Less Camp
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today:...

Well, This Is Ominous Non-News About Sidney Crosby's Brain
The headline on the Penguins' official site, which has some editorial independence but is for all purposes the NHL's Pravda: "Crosby Visits Leading Specialists."...

Here's Video Of Villanova's Basketball Coach Prancing About To A Katy Perry Song
Oh hey, that's Villanova University's head basketball coach Jay Wright letting his colors burst in a flash-mob dance routine set to Katy Perry's "Firework," isn't it?...

Rival Soccer Players Know To Expect That Newcastle United's Joey Barton "Will Come In Your Face"
If your tongue absolutely, positively must slip during a sports interview, why not sound as if you're talking sexually when, in fact, you're talking about a rival's tenacity on the English Premier League pitch? This is what happened to Fulham's Philippe Senderos when asked about Newcastle United's...

Matt Cooke Is Gonna Try Really, Really Hard Not To Be A Cheap-Shot Artist Anymore
As Matt Cooke kept busy last winter by performing his usual song-and-dance of blindside hits and head shots on Penguins opponents, his wife, Michelle, was in the hospital battling a kidney infection. The ordeal, according to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, was known by his teammates and coaches—and ...

Samuel Eto'o Will Leave Inter Milan For Obscure Russian Club (And Billions Of Rubles)
Samuel Eto'o, the 30-year-old Cameroonian soccer player, is leaving the glitz and prestige of Serie A's Inter Milan to play "for an obscure club in the violence-wracked Caucasus region of Dagestan, Russia." From Milan, one of the world's fashion capitals, to Dagestan: the land of the mountains. This...

Kerry Collins Will Never Bow To The Sands Of Time
Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay on Twitter: "We have agreed to terms with Kerry Collins...more details to come." The details being: Indy is hopelessly fucked should soon-to-be-39-year-old Kerry Collins have to play a snap in that offense....

Leaked Emails Show A <em>Newsweek</em> Reporter Trying To Set A Picky Shaq Up With Some Girls (He Only Wants Rihanna)
As far as we know, Shaquille O'Neal—divorced a few years back—is happy with his comically out-of-proportion lover, Nicole "Hoopz" Alexander....

Your Monday Night Football Bears-Giants Open Thread
We are still ready for some football. Bears, Giants, Tirico, Jaws, Gruden, all of that. But no Osi. 8 p.m., ESPN....

Kansas College Suspends Its Golfers For Dongish Facebook Photo, But Team Captain Jack Hiscock Says They're Appealing The Suspension
Lindsborg, Kansas's tiny Bethany College—a Lutheran school, home of the Fighting Swedes—has suspended its entire golf team for three tournaments as a punishment for taking the above naked photo together. You can't see any dong in the shot, but it's there, under the golfing gear....

The One Where An Ex-Pharmacist Offers Us Proof That Tiger Woods And Elin Have Herpes
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy. ...

Man With Rotting, Cancerous Penis Claims Surgeon Removed Rotting, Cancerous Penis Without Permission
"[Phillip, penis-less man]Seaton's lawyer, Kevin George, told the jury during opening arguments that his client doesn't feel like a man. He showed the jury four photographs of Seaton's groin saying, "You can see there's nothing there." Four photographs seems excessive. [Jackson Sun]...

This Gaddafi's Soccer Career Is Probably Over
It's being reported this morning that opposition forces have captured Al-Saadi Gaddafi, the third son of the soon-to-be outgoing dictator. It's a great day for the people of Libya, but a sad day for Serie A. A conviction at the International Criminal Court would likely prevent Saadi from adding to h...

Your Cowboys-Chargers Open Thread
We are, in fact, ready for some Sunday night football. Or whatever the relevant NBC song is. Game's on NBC, 8 p.m., Collinsworth, Michaels, perhaps even Deadspin chronicler Andrea Kremer. And Rivers, Romo, all of them, at least for a half. That's something....

Presenting Slo-Mo Video Of A Little League Player Taking A Baseball To The Face
Your morning roundup for Aug. 20, the ninth day that Delonte West will wake up hoping Home Depot calls. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Video from California's 11-0 win over Rhode Island H/T Shaun B). ...

Before It Went To War With China, Georgetown Was Quite Excited About Its Overseas Mission
Georgetown University sent a hype-man of an email to graduates and others in June. Oh, what could have been if things didn't devolve to diplomacy decimation with the quickness....

Here's Video Of Bryce Harper Getting Helped Off The Field After Hurting His Hamstring Tonight
Washington Nationals prospect/messiah Bryce Harper of the Harrisburg Senators came up lame after trying to advance from first to third in the 8th inning against the Akron Aeros. He couldn't seem to put much weight on his right leg as he got helped off the field....

China Would Prefer Not To Dwell On Any Incident That May Or May Not Have Occurred Between Georgetown And The People's Liberation Army
Here's the online front page of the state-run English-language China Daily this afternoon. Welcome to China, Joe Biden! Hey, wasn't that goodwill mission supposed to include a basketball game?...