pe Page 1085 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Rose Bowl Open Thread
There are three BCS-eligible undefeated teams. Two will play for the national title. The third will play Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl today....

Your College Football Bowl Games Open Thread
Four early bowl games. Northwestern vs. Texas Tech. Alabama vs. Michigan State. Florida vs. Penn State. Mississippi State vs. Michigan. Enjoy....

NHL Winter Classic Report: HOCKEY!
Our puckhead Katie Bakes is dicking around scenic Pittsburgh for the NHL Winter Classic. She has filed the following icy report....

Last Night's Winner: Big Ten Refs Grab The Spotlight
It's rare when we even notice which conference's refs are working bowl games. So the Big Ten crews at the Music City and Pinstripe Bowls must have been doing something right. Or wrong. Or both....

Are You Now Or Have You Ever Been An Idiot?
The argument here — that we're justified in suspecting Jeff Bagwell of using steroids because he "never uttered a word" or "demand[ed] accountability" about PEDs in baseball — is straight-up HUACtastic bullshit, no chaser....

Your "Brett Favre Is Inactive Because He's Still Lying Dead On A Frozen Field" TNF Open Thread
Pity the world won't get to see the Dog Killer vs. Dong Slinger battle of repugnance tonight but this is what happens when old men hit their heads....

Last Night's Winner: Internet Rumors Of Joe Paterno's Health As Actual News
Perhaps you've seen the email forward making the rounds. It claims that Paterno's health is completely shot, and that he's going to call it quits after the Outback Bowl. But which one of you mooks forwarded it to Sue Paterno?...

Vikings Punter Thinks He Thinks Peter King Is Wrong
The Vikings' Chris Kluwe, fresh off last week's pillow fight with Peter King over the suddenly divisive issue of directional punting, stopped masturbating long enough to do a guest spot on MMQB....

Your "Roddy White Should Keep His Mouth Shut" MNF Open Thread
The Falcons can clinch the Dirty South with a win tonight, but the Saints will try to remind America they still have a good football team in 2010, too. It's the battle for Trent Dilfer's soul!...

Here's What Philadelphia Looked Like Around The Moment The Eagles/Vikings Game Was Supposed To Start
It's still an understatement to say I'm ashamed of the city in which I live because of this....

Here's What Philadelphia Looked Like At The Moment The Eagles/Vikings Game Got Postponed
It's an understatement to say I'm ashamed of the city in which I live because of this....

I'm Kind Of Starting To Enjoy Sidney Crosby, And Other Random <em>NHL 24/7</em> Observations
Last night was the second of four HBO 24/7: Penguins/Capitals: The Road to the Winter Classic episodes. Here, a few thoughts more disjointed than Matt Hendricks's face....

Jesus's Stat Line, Courtesy Ron Artest
"No ejections. He was 10 for 10s, a lot of 20 for 20s [in shooting]. Perfect from the free-throw line. Infinity rebounding stats." Sometimes questioned his coach's decisions, though. [The Score]...

The Greatest Letter Ever Printed On NFL Team Letterhead
In 1974, a Clevelander wrote the Browns complaining of the menace posed by the then-fad of throwing paper airplanes, and implicitly threatened litigation. The Browns' response is just about the most awesome thing ever committed to paper....

Batshit Hall Of Fame Voter: "I Compare PED Users To Murderers"
And we compare Lowell Cohn to a cymbal-banging monkey toy. I'm beginning to suspect HOF voters really do fancy themselves an elite task force of karacter kops. Drugs make people crazy. A Hall of Fame ballot makes people crazier. [PressDemocrat.com, Business Insider]...

Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders, Part 3,296
Ryan Leaf, having long ago surpassed the vaunted trifecta of failure, has just signed a three-part book deal. The CougFan.com columnist and former NFL player will write three books about the greatest tale of human tragedy known to sports: Ryan Leaf....

Here's Your "Total Snowclipse Of The Favre?" MNF Open Thread
Brett Favre will start against the Bears tonight. And in the next two weeks, Roger Goodell will announce the results of the Jenn Sterger investigation. The conspiracy theories have arrived, and the race for some-stab-at-restored-glory has only just begun....

Trick Play Helps Win Biggest HS Game In The Country
Before 43,000 fans in Arlington, Pearland pulled off this bit of trickeration to win Texas's 5A Championship. It's the natural outcome of a season of not-quite-sporting trick plays. Let's see if Pearland's coach can fake his players' ways into FBS schools....

Peerless Price Is Not Exactly In Hiding
The I-Team had received a few cryptic reports on Peerless Price's whereabouts, after we put out a call to help this nice attorney who's trying to foreclose on his house. But I think we were able to pin him down....
