pe Page 1098 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

I'm Still Not Sure How One Suffers A Perforated Colon On A Kickoff Return
Arkansas' Dennis Johnson did on this play. From the looks of the replay, he doesn't appear to have had a helmet rammed up his ass. [SportsGrid]...

Nadal Finally Wins His U.S. Open. Sucks For Us.
A prediction: Rafael Nadal will never win another U.S. Open....

Is CBS Letting Shannon Sharpe's Domestic Violence Case Slide?
Thursday, Sharpe's girlfriend took out a restraining order against him. Sunday, he was on our TVs. This wouldn't be an issue, if not for Warren Sapp going through similar events last year, and being immediately reprimanded....

Blackhawks Fans Swing Dancing To That One Annoying Song, Because Why Not
A bunch of Blackhawks fans finally decided to combine their team's insufferable goal-scored anthem with the Lindy Hop because when anyone thinks "middling Scottish rock song," they think "dance celebrating Charles Linbergh." [Puck Daddy]...

Your Other Monday Night Football Open Thread: Chargers-Chiefs
If you're going to be glued to the TV while the Chargers put up thirty-four or so on the Chiefs, this is the open thread for you. Let your hatred of Todd Haley seethe below. ...

Your Monday Night Football Open Thread: Ravens-Jets
Monday night, the time of the week when it used to be a novelty that football was on but hasn't been for quite a while, is finally here, and both teams have a bunch of sparkling new toys to show off tonight....

Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders, Part 987
It seems like twice a year there's a new Ryan Leaf story published, updating us on the whereabouts of the NFL's bust-of-all-busts who is always on the verge of a personal rebirth. Here we go again....

Today In Sexy Swedish Navy Boat And STD News
"Two Swedish non-commissioned officers have been docked pay for painting a flying penis on a white flag adorning their boat during a naval exercise in the Stockholm archipelago" Also: It's 'Chlamydia Monday' in Sweden. (H/T Swedish correspondent Tom Kolak)...

Peter King Calls Cowboys Backup Lineman "A Disgrace," Because Peter King Is Kind Of A Dick
"How does Alex Barron have a job in football, other than selling beer in the stands?" Peter King tweeted yesterday after the Cowboys lineman concluded his evening with a hold you could see from the Lions-Bears replay booth. "He is a disgrace."...

Competition Committee Might Be Forced To Change Catch Rule, Says Former NFL Ref
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Fox football commentator and former NFL referee big wig Mike Pereira....

Weekend Winner: NFL Rule 8, Section 1, Article 4
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the "going to the ground" rule, which cost the Lions a victory yesterday and which comes from a part of the rulebook apparently written in crayon....

Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
Kevin Kolb and the Eagles, how do they work?...

Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
Some of my QB questions going into the Week One early games:...

Boston Columnist Doth Question White Jesus' Free Ride, Pre-Kickoff Smiting Expected
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Big Yankees Fan, Manipulating His Inner Pee Wee Herman, Makes New Video
Michael LaPayower wins Chevy Fan of the Year (for August)! Michael LaPayower wins Chevy Fan of Year (for August)!...

Your College Football Late Game Open Thread
Michigan at Catholics. Convicts at Ohio State. Penn State vs. Alabama. It all pales in comparison to the Presbyterian Blue Hose vs. Clemson blood feud. But that's just me. What's just you?...

Your College Football Early Game Open Thread
Georgia or South Carolina? Will South Florida overcome Tim Tebow's prayers and vanquish Florida? How will any other teams get noticed once Gardner-Webb vs. Akron starts? Did you take the Idaho Vandals and 28 over Nebraska?...

Vera Zvonareva is a Youth-Prison Riot Fetishist's Wet Dream
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

For Your Viewing Pleasure: The Worst Mizzou Volleyball Team Rap Ever
The Missouri women's volleyball team's official "Spirit Group," VolleyZou, found an enterprising group of young men with Missouri apparel, a gold cart, a video camera, and lots of gumption and commissioned them to make this, whatever this is....

Tony Dungy Is An Insufferable Shit
"If I'm Reggie Bush, I give back the trophy," Tony Dungy said yesterday in his capacity as football's freelance moral compass. This is all he does anymore: intone some insufferably pious crap that's just aching to be cross-stitched onto a decorative pillow....