pe Page 1101 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pete Carroll: Master Pranksmith
Carroll hid a fake snake in the Gatorade cooler, and filmed the results. Credit where credit is due: getting large men to scream and hop around like girls will never not be funny....

Winnipeg's Mayor Straight Kicks A Kid In The Face
Click to viewMayor Sam Katz took part in a charity soccer game yesterday with some local youth. Either this kid's good at flopping, or the mayor just broke his face....

Grizzlies Owner Has Never Read The Collective Bargaining Agreement, Quotes The Collective Bargaining Agreement
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Grizzlies owner Michael Heisley....

Your Moment Of Auto-Erotica: "Oh, How He Tempted Her."
We recently discovered—but then forget—the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Down Goes Strasburg (Sort of). Nationals' Autopsy Scheduled (Today).
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Tomlinson Fan Wears Adult Diapers in Brooklyn. Why?
I'd know the answer if the fan in question was Namath sans cell-phone waist-unit. But it's not....

Violent Bike Collision Has Quick, Polite Resolution
A guy riding his bike with a shoulder-mounted camera hits an old man. Words are exchanged. Disputation seems inevitable. Then both graciously agree on their mutual culpability and move on. Moral: Old people need to watch where the fuck they're going....

Percy Harvin Collapses, Has Name Changed
Vikings all-everything Percy Harvin, suffering from a migraine during practice, vomited on the sidelines and collapsed. He was taken to a nearby hospital by ambulance and caused ESPN copy-editors to miss a typo which referred to Harvin as "Migraine." H/T six tipsters....

Roger Clemens To Be Charged With Lying To Congress About Scary, Scary Drugs
The feds, basking in the glow of their wildly successful perjury prosecution of Barry Bonds, will reportedly indict Roger Clemens on charges that he made false statements to Congress about his PED use. [NYT]...

Abbey Clancy Decides To Forgive Naughty Peter Crouch
Those who enjoyed yesterday's particularly good looking list of Women Scorned might have noticed that around 33.3 percent of them still managed to forge ahead with their relationships in spite of the various allegations regarding French underpants models and saggy 93-year-old prostitutes....

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Michael Jordan," Playing Dodgeball In Williamsburg
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: Hipster Jordan. Player: Michael Jordan Team: 1992 U.S. men's national basketball team Ubiquity: Fairly high Scene: Williamsburg Cut Copy show/"Pool Party" Unnecessarily Decimaled Score Ou...

White Duke Player Completes Rare Feat Of Athleticism
Miles and Mason Plumlee, of the Arden Plumlees, took a moment during the Duke basketball game for some fun. Watch as Miles jumps over Mason to throw down a dunk and delight the other tank-top wearing white people in attendance. [The Dagger]...

Renee Gork Received Death Threats Because She Wore A Florida Hat
In an interview with TJ Carpenter on Fayetteville ESPN affiliate The Ticket 92.1 Renee Gork claimed she has received death threats and that she didn't purposefully wear the Florida hat to the Arkansas press conference she attended that lead to her dismissal....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Adonal Foyle
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the feature where we look at video love letters to players that are even less deserving than usual. Today's subject: NBA big man Adonal Foyle—who announced today that he's retiring—set to "Age of Aquarius." ...

Just <em>Liking</em> The Florida Gators Will Get You Fired
After yesterday's kerfuffle regarding the Cincinnati media members that asked for Tim Tebow's autograph, it's fitting that another University of Florida graduate is involved in a media scandal. Meet Renee Gork; fired by an Arkansas sports radio network for going to UF....

Green Man Finally Wears Appropriate Color, Though Not Size
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Would The World Anti-Doping Agency Kindly Shut The Hell Up?
The World Anti-Doping Agency, i.e., the people who once banned caffeine, now demands that baseball violate federal labor law and unilaterally impose a testing regime of dubious efficacy for a substance of uncertain benefits. Why does anyone take WADA seriously anymore?...

Yankees Toss Limbless Boy In Water, Or Something
The Yankees kicked off their annual "HOPE Week" by treating 13-year-old Jorge Grajales to a pool party. Jorge is a quadruple amputee. Whatever, he still throws better than Knoblauch. [Journal News]...

Jayhawks AD Spreads His Wings With Style
In Lew Perkins' defense, he does look like big smooth bird who just gets what Orville and Wilbur were going for....

Circle of Life: When English Soccer Appears, American Beach Volleyball Disappears
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....