pe Page 1110 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Sioux City Promotional Video Is So Awful, You'll Want To Move There Ironically
By gathering notable townsfolk for this Up With People-esque extravaganza (and by not paying any attention to Starship's lyrics), Sioux City's promo video has now supplanted Cleveland's as the most unintentionally hilarious instance of civic self-love. H/T @edsbs....

Drew Rosenhaus Breaking Flaming Bricks Is A Metaphor For His Negotiating Skills ... Or Something
Turns out Drew Rosenhaus, noted driveway-press-conference hobbyist, also enjoys training in the martial arts when he isn't forcing your favorite team to give an extra year and $3 million dollar roster bonus to Olindo Mare. [Tauntr]...

Associated Press To Punish Brian Cushing For Making Its Voters Look Bad
The AP wants to reclaim Brian Cushing's Defensive Rookie of the Year Award, because giving prizes to drug cheats makes them look foolish. Almost as foolish as calling takebacks on meaningless post-season awards....

Dallas Braden's Perfecto: A Musical Retrospective
Dallas Braden became the world's most notable mound-owning, finger-mustache-tattoo enthusiast on Sunday when he threw the 19th perfect game in MLB history. To celebrate, here are all 27 outs set to a song Braden undoubtedly likes. [Tune-age via The Misfits]...

Other Things They Do In The 209, Apparently: Throw Perfect Games (UPDATE)
Dallas Braden, last seen hereabouts mistaking Stockton, Calif., for Tombstone, just threw the 19th perfect game in MLB history, against the Rays. They don't do much hitting in the 727, do they? UPDATE: And now Braden's grandmother starts shit-talking A-Rod, too....

How To Change A Fucking Diaper
In honor of Mother's Day, and with a nod to The Awl, here is your belligerent guide to changing a kid's filth-laden diaper. You're welcome, assholes....

Brian Cushing's Performance-Enhancing Regimen Was Not Up To Snuff
Oh, now, don't you go trotting out those old photos again to prove a point. Let's have NFL commentator (and MMA warrior!) Jay Glazer yell at him instead: "Yes, livid about Cushing." For commentary longer than 140 characters, read this....

Perfect Gentlemen: My Lovely Night With Lawrence Taylor
This is a new series called "Perfect Gentlemen," wherein we feature stories from women (or men!) who've gone out on dates with professional athletes and had altogether positive experiences. Unfortunately, today's installment features Lawrence Taylor....

This Lawrence Taylor Story Is Going To Get Real Ugly, Real Fast
Taylor is charged with beating and raping a 16-year-old girl overnight. He's currently in jail, awaiting his arraignment. A press conference is scheduled for this afternoon. [AnimalNY]...

Lawrence Taylor... Accused Of Rape
"Taylor, 51, was taken into custody by the Town of Ramapo police after being accused of raping someone in the Holiday Inn Holidome Hotel in Suffern."[CBS]...

The $1 Million <em>MLB 2K10</em> Perfect Game Contest Has Come To An End
An Alabama man was the first to record a perfect game in the previously outlined contest, saying it was "a nice return on my investment." Commence hacky "now he can afford to move out of his mother's trailer" jokes below. [Kotaku]...

Live Chat With Justin Halpern About "Shit My Dad Says" And Other Things
Justin's down in the comments section awaiting your questions. His father is not. But you can still curse at him just like his dad would if that's what makes you feel better. And, yes, he knows how Gawker comments work. Buythebook!...

Excerpt From <em>Shit My Dad Says</em>: "Act Like You've Been There Before"
Below is a chapter titled "Confidence Is The Way To A Woman's Heart, Or, At Least Into Her Pants " from SMDS by Justin Halpern, America's premier chronicler of patriarchal affection. Buy the book, read the Tweets, pray for Shatner. Chat at 2....

Abbey Clancy Makes Her World Cup Prediction…
For those of you who prefer not to waste valuable shopping time reading up on the latest football relationships, Abbey Clancy is the lucky model who has long been on the receiving end of Peter Crouch's deep midnight kisses....

The "Andrei Kirilenko's Yearly Free Pass Watch" Reaches DEFCON-2
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Come Chat With "Shit My Dad Says" Author Justin Halpern Tomorrow At 2pm EST
It's the amusing Twitter account even your dad likes. And, now, it's a book. Come stop by tomorrow for an excerpt and watch the author bravely navigate the commenting arena which has humbled many an author and vaporized one female comedian....

Peter King Forswears All Brett Favre Predictions, Immediately Makes Brett Favre Prediction
Here's Peter King, instantly forgetting what he thought he thought: "I'm finished predicting what he'll do, because I've been wrong every time I've predicted recently. And if I had to go to Vegas ... I'd bet he plays this fall." [MMQB, KSK]...

10 More Songs Notre Dame Could Have Used For Promotional Purposes
Remember that awful Notre Dame promotional video we wrote about yesterday? Well, it only seemed awful because everyone interpreted it wrong. Actually, it was kind of brilliant. My pal Nate Freeman, who knows nothing about sports, is here to explain....

If Anyone Else Is Morbidly Curious About "The Human Centipede"...
Mark Lisanti is live blogging his viewing of it right now. It's just about to get fun it looks like. [MovieLine]...

Now Here's A Reds Funk Song To Make Their Fan Base Recoil In Shame
Readers Seth & Jen watched that wonderful Notre Dame promo and thought they recognized those Midwestern-sports-funk stylings from the video you see here, a celebration of Reds fandom....