pe Page 1132 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tigers And Twins Desperately Trying To Make You Care About Baseball
The 2009 baseball season has been a bit of a dud, drama-wise. So how about a final week double-header that will MEAN EVERYTHING! Or change everything. Or solve nothing? I forget how these dramatic finishes are supposed to work....

Lions Fan Enjoys Historic Victory Sans Pants
Detroit fans have suffered through eons of metaphorical de-pantsings, so it's understandable that a few dudes attending Sunday's monumental victory would look to continue the tradition by literally dropping trou during a drunken game of grab-ass....

Welcome To The Chad Henne Era, Miami Fans
Chris Mortensen says: Chad Pennington has a torn shoulder something and is probably done for the year. (He'll get a second opinion, but James Andrews has already cut him open twice.) That's why Jimmy Buffett invented the Wildcat, right? [ESPN/SecondStringFullback]...

Your College Football Open Thread
Sound Off Here. Photo courtesy of Busted Coverage...

Big Ten Network Undeterred By Gimpy Sideline Pony
Charissa Thompson, sideline reporter for the Big Ten Network, broke her ankle doing step aerobics and will wear a cast. She's not DL'd yet, so keep her in your lineup. This is officially the slowest news day in history....

Yukkks: Bruce Pearl Apologizes For Klan Joke
Pearl, the chuckling Rotarian nuisance who is approximately one Holocaust clown movie removed from Jerry Lewis, recently told a zinger at a fundraiser that might've gone over better if he hadn't suggested that some of his Tennessee constituents were Klansmen....

Purple Jesus Is Gonna Break His F*cking Neck. Jamboroo, Week 3
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Boston Now Leads The League In Bubbly, Young Sports Reporters
Jade McCarthy is the newest reporter to join NESN's broadcast crew—a team that already features Heidi Watney and Kathryn Tappen. [Red Sox Monster]...

We Didn't Have To Wait Long For USC's Meltdown This Year
Aaron Corp, the most hated man in University Park, shook off Saturday's abortion of a game by partying it up at a frat. Meanwhile, Pete Carroll's song of the day: "The Kids Aren't Alright." [Bleacher Report]...

The Worst Gambling Story Ever Gets A Little Worser
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering gambling debts, the BS Report, human centipedes, Nutella, and dead grandmas....

Houston Astros Fire Their "Manager"
With 13 games to go in their dismal season, the Astros—an alleged "base ball" team from Houston—have fired manager Cecil Cooper. In other news, Cecil Cooper was apparently managing the Astros this season! [Houston Chronicle]...

Your College Football Open Thread
Can Lane Kiffin's Vols cover the spread against Florida? How will TCU handle Texas State-San Marcos' explosive directional punting game? Sound off here. [CBS Sports]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Petco Park
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Petco Park....

This Man Has An Opinion On The NL West
Former Journey lead singer Steve Perry is a Giants fan. "Don't Stop Believin'" is the Dodgers' 2009 anthem. That, in the journalism industry, is what we call: conflict!...

The Learning Curve: Herm's Perm
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

Adrian Peterwho?
Sure, we don't know our football all that well. But that's actually part of the reason we feel pretty justified calling bullshit on Tom Curran's list of "Five Players Ready to Become NFL Superstars."...

The Jehovah's Witnesses Are Unhappy With Fellow Witness Serena Williams
"Furthering the teaching that Judgments are only for those outside the Organization, Serena Williams threatened a line judge with a dose of Jehovah's Witness authority yesterday. Her comments were blasphemous, having been used in connection with 'God.'" [Jehovahs-Witness.net]...

TV Says Internet Killing Newspaper
The man behind print sports journalism's largest failure is going to tell us why the Internet is usurping the local paper as your news source of choice. If you can still afford premium cable, Real Sports is on now! [HBO]...

FCC Is Still Worried About Janet Jackson's Boob
It's been almost six years since that horrible day when America first learned about the female breast and the Federal Communications Commission is still trying to find a way to punish someone for the infamous Super Bowl Nipple Fest....

Is Dick Jauron Dying?
I swear, last night Dick Jauron looked like he was suffering from five different terminal diseases simultaneously. Anyway, time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email me here if you want in....