pe Page 1142 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Is How You Know The U.S. Open Didn't End The Way Most People Wanted It To
Seconds after Lucas Glover snatched his wife into a victorious embrace, we received three emails from readers with screengrabs of her pit sweat. I'm surprised Dan Jenkins didn't Twitter about it....

Lucas Glover Wins The U.S. Open
It's all over, folks. Glover holds on to win a messy five-day U.S. Open. More below:...

U.S. Open Should Begin Any Day Now
After four days of interminable, Noah's Ark-like rain, it's my understanding that the US Open golf thingy will actually start sometime today. Oh, they already started—and stopped—the fourth round in the darkness last night? How lucky....

@DanJenkinsGD Can Haz Cheeseburger
On a semi-related note, Emeritus on Jenkins: "It's kind of unbelievable Twitter existed without him. Proves my theory: Had he started a blog before Deadspin, I'd be flipping burgers." Amen. Easily the star of this year's washed-out Open. [Washington Post]...

The U.S. Open At Bethpage Black, Sponsored By Happy Gilmore
The New York galleries are so lively, we've heard all week. They're great for golf, and the players love it! Turns out, it's all just a euphemism for "New Yorkers like to get tanked and heckle Tiger Woods."...

Let's All Jump Into Puddles
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Eli and Peyton Enjoy Synchronized Concert-going
The Manning brothers were at Irving Plaza last night rocking out to some Better Than Ezra with the normal folks. Unlike normal folks, they did it in matching bad-ass blazers....

Barnes Bears Down At Bethpage
Former US Amateur champion and University of Arizona star Ricky Barnes set the 36 hole US Open scoring record at -8 following the second round 65 he completed in this morning's favorable conditions....

Roger Clemens Answers Questions From A Curious Houston Fan Base
Upholding a promise he made in May, Roger Clemens answered questions from Houstonist readers about his "situation." He seems in good spirits. Oh, and he signs off with "Peace In the Middle East." Like Diddy. [Houstonist]...

Tough Week For Phillies Fans All Around
First you have Marco Scutaro nabbing second after a walk as the Phillies infield snoozes, then you have two broads bashing each other in the stands at CBP because they're so distraught over it. [The Fightins]...

ESPNUSGA Could Really Use Some Comment Ninjas....
Mickelson, right now, is tied for 5th at -1. Tiger went astray. Peter Hanson is in the lead...[USOPEN.com]...

Financial Scammer Robs NHL Players To Throw Raunchy Parties For MLB Greats (And Joe Morgan)
There are many tales of financial woe to emerge from our economic meltdown, but few are more bizarre than the developer who bilked NHL players out of millions of dollars—only to lavish it on ex-baseball players?...

Donte' Stallworth Suspended Indefinitely
Thus spake Goodell and his vengeance was swift and terrible. You do realize Stallworth's NFL punishment will likely be worse than the one he received from the State Of Florida? [Miami Herald]...

It's U.S. Open Week And Everyone Needs Takeouts, So...
...let's write about how hard putting is. That hacker on your local muni, the one with the yips? Not so different from the winner at Bethpage Black, if they ever play. They worry about words like joule, though. [WSJ]...

The U.S. Open Is Open For Business
You were probably hoping that following the U.S. Open online would be a nice distraction from work today, but they just suspended play due to heavy rain. Hey, who wants to hear Tiger Woods cuss on teevee?...

Shockingly, No One Was Seriously Injured During Deadspin Bar Crawl
Last Saturday we invited our New York readers to join us for a Subway Series bar crawl, sponsored by the wonderful hombres at Corona. We drank, watched baseball, and awkwardly socialized with people from the internet. So really it was like any other Saturday, except I put clothes on and actually lef...

Ma'am, Your Foot Appears To Be Dying
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awfu...

Someone Likes Vijay's Swing
The New York Times: "Then someone yelled at Vijay Singh on the third green, complimenting his posterior in bold, succinct language." Is this Times-speak for "nice ass"? [NYT]...

Penguin Party Freakout At Mario Lemieux's Mansion
This is my favorite part about the post-NHL season is to see what wacky things the champions do with Lord Stanley's precious cup. The Penguins turned it into a pool noodle at King Mario's castle....

Jeff Pearlman Apologizes For Becoming Mike Lupica When He Ripped Mike Lupica
" Maybe, in the act of jabbing Mike Lupica, I've actually become Mike Lupica. If so, it's not the way I want to live. I took the Lupica post down."[JeffPearlman/GraneyandthePig]...