pe Page 1147 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You Should Really Be Watching The NHL Playoffs
Last week, I was worried that the Washington/Pittsburgh series might end in a disappointing sweep, but not only is it still going, it's gotten more exciting. (And the other series aren't bad either.)...

Once Again, Amazing Happened For The Celtics
The parody videos of the NBA's goose-bumping "Where Amazing Happens" videos are phenomenal (Teen Wolf, Hoosiers, etc.) And when something legitimately amazing happens, thankfully, YouTube genius AndrewB cobbled one together immediately after last night's amazingness....

Michael Phelps Loves Chewing Tobacco, Loves Threesomes With Strippers
Nobody does news quite like UK's News Of The World and their latest shocking exposé is no exception—a bare-all interview with a Baltimore "dancer" who claims she double-teamed Olympic hero Michael Phelps...

Meet Freddie Mitchell's Online Bodyguard: Alfred Luckerbauer
Any news about Freddie Mitchell at this point is sad and strange, so it's not surprising that the people who staunchly support him would be people like this man: Alfred Luckerbauer, proprietor of this site....

A Note From The Guest Editor
Greetings from Los Angeles, the charming little front-running town that just suffered a devastating cockpunch from a left-fielder who's being unfairly persecuted for his totally innocent use of a female fertility drug....

Freddie Mitchell Is Talking To Someone
He's not in the NFL due to "things out of his control." [Freddie Mitchell]...

Deadspin Very Special Guest Editor Days: Part II
As noted yesterday, the last one went so well. But this time around, we'll actually be featuring a person who enjoys sports and will probably wake up before 1:30 p.m. I hope....

Bill Plaschke Finally Vindicated By Manny Ramirez Suspension
There is a silver lining to be found in this Manny Ramirez mess—L.A. Times columnist Bill Plaschke can finally say "I told you so!" Manny duped a lot of people, but not this guy!...

Allison Stokke Is Now Open For Business
Yesterday, a ridiculously predictable press release came in from Spike TV about their "Guys Choice Awards" and one of the categories was for "Sexiest Athlete." Guess who's nominated?...

Manny Ramirez Is Now Very Fertile
"Two sources told ESPN's T.J. Quinn and Mark Fainaru-Wada that the drug used by Ramirez is hCG—human chorionic gonadotropin....a women's fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body's natural testosterone production." [ESPN]...

Manny Ramirez Releases His Statement On Suspension
Manny Ramirez released a statement [opens in PDF] saying that the positive test comes from a medication that was prescribed to him by a doctor for a legitimate medical issue. [Los Angeles Times]...

Manny Ramirez Fails Performance-Enhancing Drug Test
Manny Ramirez has failed a performance-enhancing drug test and has been suspended 50 games, effective immediately. Well ... I guess that's everyone! (Lots, lots more to come, obviously.)...

Be Sure Your Child Wears Earmuffs If Troy Percival Approaches Your Section
Some of the Rays were upset at the fan who interfered with Evan Longoria when he tried to make a play along the third base line. Troy Percival was really upset. [Rays Index]...

You Could Be A Heartless Corporate Giant For One Day
The Peoria Chiefs want to sell naming rights for their stadium, but there are no companies left in America with the financial security to finance such a project. So do you have $6,000?...

Alex and Sid's Dueling Hat Tricks
The NHL got what it wanted—a Crosby/Ovechkin playoff showdown—and the first two games have lived up to the billing. If only they can find a way to make it last longer than two more games....

Sorry Ladies: Bruce Pearl Is Off The Market!
Hearts are a-breakin' all across the Smokies today as Bruce Pearl has announced that he's affianced to lady friend Brandy Miller. Do they sell creamsicle-colored tuxedo shirts? [Knoxville News Sentinel]...

Austrian Hockey Players Will Question Your Sexuality In Perfect English
Austria lost to Denmark in a Hockey World Championship qualifier last week, but at least Oliver Setzinger got a chance to get to know his fans and their preferences for fellatio....

Ow, My Balls!
Maybe I'm still a little irked with Boston after last night's Celtics win, but I think a picture of Dustin Pedroia getting pegged in the nuts would bring a smile to my face any day....

Saints Players Just Want To Hang Out With Their Wangs Out
New Orleans is certainly a wild and wacky place, but that doesn't mean you can go around waving your junk at women in public willy-nilly, even if you're a member of the New Orleans Saints....

Hey Lama, How About A Little Something, You Know, For The Effort?
I don't know jack about Buddhism or karma or any of that noise, but I do know that the Dalai Lama wearing a Patriots hat can't be good for the natural order of things....