pe Page 1152 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Out-Of-Control Striping Costs High School Basketball Team Shot At State Title; Paul Lukas Explodes
North Lawndale College Prep can't catch a break. Just this season, they've had players shot, academically ineligible and accused of cheating, and now they've lost a state semifinal game because of a uniform stripe. Cripes!...

Baseball Has Been Very Good To Him Indeed
And now the bittersweet story of minor-league catcher Brayan Pena, who defected from Cuba 10 years ago by jumping out a bathroom window in Caracas, only to end up with the Royals....

The NCAA Will Snatch The Baby Jesus Right Out Of Your Hands
Viewers of the Ohio State-Siena game may have noticed a proselytizing attention whore with a John 3:16 sign. But did you see an NCAA security guard snatch it? One eagle-eyed viewer did; roll the tape....

Adrian Peterson's Community College Economic Stimulus Package
The Vikings' Adrian Peterson and other NFL players come to the rescue of Northern Iowa Area Community College, donating "close to $150,000" to keep the football program from folding. [The Globe Gazette]...

America Takes Special Needs Bowling Way Too Seriously
The President of the United States hates you, America, so much so that instead of fixing the economy like he was told to, he went on a silly talk show to trash talk disabled people....

NCAA Tournament Live Blog: (5) Illinois Vs. (12) Western Kentucky
Your live blogger for this game will be NBCSports.com contributor Yoni Cohen, whose Internet home is Yoco Hoops....

Donte' Stallworth: Grief-Stricken, But Probably Headed To The Clink
Police won't confirm a television report that Browns' receiver Donte' Stallworth had a .12 BAC level the morning he ran down a pedestrian in Miami Beach. Police will confirm when they "make an arrest." [Cleveland.com]...

This Is Why Warm-Up Drills Are Dangerous
Stan Simpson, Illinois frosh, killed in the low post during practice... no, of course he wasn't. But I'm sure his whole face smells like Wilson right now. [The Sports Hernia]...

Split Open And Melt
Aaron Boone talks about his upcoming open heart surgery. [NYT]...

NCAA First Round: (5) Illinois vs. (12) Western Kentucky
South Region: No. 5 Illinois (24-9) vs. No. 12 Western Kentucky (24-8) When: Thursday, 9:55 p.m., EDT Where: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon ILLINOIS FIGHTING ILLINI 1) They're not that bad offensively. Fine, fine, so the Big Ten isn't exactly stacked with a bunch of Bo Kimbles and Kiki Vandeweghes....

It's Chipper Jones Vs. The City Of Toronto. Let's Watch The Fun
If you play for the Braves and you're going to be at war with a city, it might as well be a Canadian one. On the whole, Chipper Jones would rather be in Atlanta....

Vince Papale's Wife Maybe, Possibly Does Care About Black People
There's some melodrama brewing between Emeritus, William F. Leitch, and, Vince Papale, former Philadelphia Eagle and "Invincible" inspiration. It appears Mr. Papale is not a fan of this site....

Will Najeh Davenport's Hamper-Pooping Hijinks Hurt His Modeling Career?
I totally missed this on Friday, but Najeh Davenport's days as an NFL running back are seemingly over and he's now looking to start a new career as a professional model. Fantastic....

Carter Gaddis' New Blog Is Off To A Rousing Start
Our only regret is that he didn't live to witness Subway's "Five-Dollar Foot-Long" ad campaign. Here's the late Geremi Gonzalez and his classic penis prank, brought to you via Tampa Bay Baseball Outsider....

A Little International Tarnish On Binghamton's One Shining Moment
The assault case against Serbian national basketball player Miladin Kovacevic continued its inexorable slide toward absurdity today, further tarnishing the name of Binghamton University, which should be basking in the NCAA Tournament glow right now....

Seattle And The Mariners: It's True Love (For Now)
Mariners fans line up in the rain for tickets to opening day, which sell out in 55 minutes. It's all for you, Mariner Moose. [King 5]...

Fishin' Accomplished
He eluded U.S. forces much longer than Saddam Hussein, but this 13-pound carp was finally brought to justice recently as part of Operation Catch Fish, on the grounds of Camp Slayer in Baghdad....

Receiver Donte Stallworth Mows Down, Kills Miami Beach Man
Former Saint/Eagle/Patriot and current Browns wide receiver Donte Stallworth has reportedly ran over and killed a pedestrian in Miami Beach early this morning....

It's March Madness For Mascots, Too
"[W]ith 7 seconds left and New Mexico State leading 70-69, Utah State's mascot, 'Big Blue' the bull, confronted New Mexico State's 'Pistol Pete' cowboy mascot and ripped off his fake mustache." [ESPN.com...

Curse Of The Colonel Update: Now PETA's Involved
Of course they are. The animal rights organization has sent an impassioned letter to the Chicago Cubs, advising them not to accept a Japanese baseball team's offer of a curse-breaking Kentucky Fried Chicken statue....