pe Page 1156 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Baylor: Clippers Were Like 'A Vision Of A Southern Plantation'
Not taking sides in Elgin Baylor's lawsuit against the Clippers, but you hate to see it go down like this....

Would It Have Hurt Her To Lez It Up Just A Little?
Former Central Michigan player Brooke Heike is suing the school because, she says, she lost her scholarship for not being a lesbian. Just another example of an athlete not being able to follow simple instructions....

Stanley Pringle Still Ignoring Your Creative Taunts
As basketball nicknames go, The Library Masturbator is probably greater than even Dr. J or Black Mamba. Man, I hope Stanley Pringle makes it to the NBA....

Peter Gammons Regrets Not Sticking Up For Roberts
SI writer Jeff Pearlman criticized ESPN's Peter Gammons for the way he handled the Alex Rodriguez interview, accusing the venerable baseball writer of "softball questions and limited inquisitiveness."...

PETA: Dog Master Race To Rise Up, Annex The Sudetenland
The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show got underway on Monday, and of course PETA was there to add an air of dignity and understatement to the proceedings, as the photo indicates....

Baseball Prospectus Says Your Favorite Team Stinks
BP releases its team win-loss projections for 2009 and I'm guessing the news is not good for most of you. Please direct your irrational anger toward Nate Silver. [BP, via Wicked Good Sports]...

Freddie Mitchell Just Can't Catch A Break
The fantastical world of Freddie Mitchell has been uneventful recently, but he made news for all the wrong reasons after Lakeland, Fla. police accused him of having pot delivered to his Brothers Bar-B-Q restaurant....

Time For Another Episode Of 'Things You Can't Unsay'
Golf Channel's Andrew Magee suspended for saying: "I just saw a fan wearing a T-shirt that read, 'I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts for eating a brownie.' " [Awful Announcing]...

Heat Up Your Cold February Nights With Hockey Erotica
If you're looking for hot entertainment, I suggest finding your way North this month for "a new show that brings Canada's two favourite pastimes—hockey and sex—together at last on one rollicking theatre stage."...

Arizona Cardinals Coordinators Receive Slightly Different Treatment After Super Bowl Run
We're adding a little something to this month's Super Bowl coordinators contest. First prize is a new head coaching gig with another team. Second prize is you're fired....

ESPN Is Giving Scott Van Pelt Some Quiet Time (UPDATE)
Last week, ESPN's Scott Van Pelt hammered Bud Selig about the MLB Commissioner's $18.5 million salary.A little too much, apparently: SVP was suspended from his radio show on Monday, according to multiple WWL sources....

Andy Rooney's Experience At Super Bowl XLIII
Apparently there was one person who wasn't that impressed with all the excitement of Super Bowl XLIII and it had nothing to do with the outcome. It's "60 Minutes" professional curmudgeon, Andy Rooney....

Wait! Where's Everybody Going?!
Lion attack! Quarterback Kevin Newsome and kicker Anthony Fera decommit from Michigan and agree to play for Penn State. [The 700 Level]...

Breakfast Fail: Intrepid Reporter Attempts To Eat Five Denny's Grand Slams
Remember the Denny's Super Bowl ad that promised free breakfast to everyone in America? Two million were served on Tuesday between 6 a.m. and 2 p.m., including five to one Chicago Tribune reporter alone....

Santonio Holmes Toes Have Also Touched A Nerve
A full-scale battle of the screen-grabs has been waged between Mattoonian Buzzsaw Emeritus and seemingly every Pittsburgh Steelers fan with access to a computer. Even the Politico readers are pissed....

Adult Site Will Compensate Viewers Whose Porn Was Interrupted By Super Bowl
This joke is going to get old very fast, but kudos to the adult film studio Pink Visual for being among the first to think of it....

James Harrison's $800,000 Touchdown
Poker player Phil Ivey bet $800,000 on the Cardinals +3.5 for the first half of Super Bowl XLIII. I believe that is what's known as a "bad beat." [Phil Ivey Rules?]...

TWO FEET DOWN
Steeler Nation sees your one toe and raises you another, Buzzsaw boy. [SteelersDepot]...

Unsealed Bonds Documents Include Alleged Doping Calendar
A federal judge today unsealed documents that prosecutors contend are Barry Bonds' monthly doping schedule. The calendars are allegedly what Bonds and his trainer Greg Anderson used to chart the athlete's use of performance-enhancing drugs....

One Day Simmons Will Do One Of These
Former ESPN writer Jeff Pearlman lists the things he dislikes about the WWL. [Jeff Pearlman.com]...