pe Page 1180 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Down Go the Liverpudlians!
Hey, wow, Liverpool lost to, uh, Barnsley. That sounds like an upset, I think. Don't ask me, I'm a red-blooded blinkered American simian who don't truck no foreigner sports. I'm sure the losers all groused and said things like "poxy" and called each "prats" and ate bad food with their jagged teeth. ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while planning a vacation to Bill Simmons' "Mount Rapmore"...

If You Can't Play As The Vikings, Might As Well Ransack Like Them
Having just been alerted by the Mid-Atlantic Hockey League that their season was over at the halfway mark, the Jamestown Vikings decided that they were still vikings after all and proved as much by trashing the historic Viking Lodge in Jamestown, NY....

Rams' Lawyers Attempt to Do What Team Could Not
It's two weeks after Losergate (or, if you will, Super Bowl XLII) and people are still making a hue and cry over cheating charges leveled at the now-humbled Patriots. The latest comes from former Rams player Willie Gary and two Rams season ticket holders, who are suing the Pats, seeking $100 millio...

Ook-ook. You Folks Ready to Go Ape?
Greetings, Deadspinners. I am Christmas Ape, the latest in a glorious succession of Kissing Suzy Kolber writers to serve as your Weekend Editor. Those of you who are regular readers over there probably know me for chronicling the imaginary exploits of Philip Rivers and posting the occasional picture...

So Who's Ready For Another Run At An Undefeated Season?
Which is harder: Completing an undefeated season in the NFL, or in college basketball? I NEED TO KNOW! With its 68-59 win over Houston on Wednesday night, Memphis improved to 24-0, looking to become the first Div. I team since Bobby Knight's 1976 Indiana squad to finish unbeaten. Hmm, a current team...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that PETA will one day rule the universe ... • College basketball: Villanova at Georgetown (7 p.m., ET); Kansas at Texas (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Saint Mary's at Santa Clara (11 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]. If only there were one more game, I wouldn't have to sleep. • College women's ...

There's No 'I' In 'Douchebag'
Drew over at KSK asked Johnny at Metroville to write a piece about what it means to be a Patriots fan, one week later. We decided it would be a better fit here. You decide....

The Patriots Petition: Greatest Hits
Time to check in on the petition for the NFL to investigate the final 1:40 of Super Bowl XLII, as seen on Petition Online.com (and mentioned here on Saturday). Petitions on this site are usually pretty tepid, bewildering affairs: Take for example petition for the betterment of UNC football (26 signa...

So What Was Up With Those Awful Super Bowl Commercials?
Gupta has recently apologized for the ads and pulled the panda one from the airwaves, but this whole thing is probably going exactly to plan....

In Reebok's Alternate Universe, The Patriots Are 19-0
You had to figure that Reebok filmed two versions of its Perfectville Super Bowl commercial, and indeed, here it is; as reported by Larry Brown Sports. The highlight for me is the deliveryman with the "Patriots 19-0" T-shirt … possibly the only one of those still remaining in the Northern Hemisphere...

The Final Jamboroo And The Art Of Being A Sports Fan Without Watching Sports
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon. Well, until today, anyway....

This Should Cause The Mets No PR Problems Whatsoever
Pitchers and catchers haven't even begun packing, but the first sensational storyline of spring training is already here. Pedro Martinez: Cock Fighter! (As first reported by Home Run Derby.) PETA officials are sharpening their talons and animal activists are massing at the Florida border as we speak...

Light Dawns On The Patriots
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....

OK, Last Photoshop, We Promise!
Except for the ones below, that is. There's just so many amusing ones out there, that it's hard to stop. And now, for the final word on Super Bowl XLII, we'll hand the mic over to Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, who as you might imagine is quite enthused with the result. In fact, it may be his fin...

Hey, What Else Are You Going To Use A Backyard For?
This is what Crystal Meth will do to you. So be careful, kids....

Analyzing Belichick's Insane Decision Not To Kick
Of all the oddities during Super Bowl XLII, the one that might stick, and the one that might hurt the reputation of Patriots coach Bill Belichick the most, was his decision to go for it instead of sending kicker Stephen Gostkowski out for a 49-yard field goal. That doesn't look good when you lose a ...

Whining About Patriots' Loss Now A Greater Threat Than Global Warming
So this is somewhat amusing. According to Amani Toomer, before the game on Sunday Patriots' players were inviting him to their victory parties. "They were inviting us to their parties after the game," Toomer said. "They showed us no respect." Meanwhile, Tom Brady has dropped out of the Pro Bowl (exp...
