pe Page 1216 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chris Kaman: Even Weirder Than You Think
We've given the Los Angeles Times' Bill Plaschke his fair share of grief, but we must give credit where it is due: His column yesterday on bizarro Clippers center Chris Kaman is pretty outstanding stuff. We might even go so far as to call ourselves tickled....
The Vikings Meet The Seventh Floor Crew
Sometimes, someone comes up with a concept that's so perfectly in our sweet spot that we can merely stand up and salute, and that's really saying something, because we spend the whole day on our ass....
Things Going Well for the Chargers
With just over 2:00 to play in the first quarter, the Chargers lead the Colts 10-0. They've sacked Manning twice, and picked him once, though they gave the interception away because they're greedy....
Your Takes On The Sex Boat Wrapup
We love doing this site, but, to be honest, what we might love the most are you, the readers. Your comments are the highlights of our days, and not just because you're funnier than we are. We thought we'd take this opportunity to showcase our personal favorite slices of hilarity from today's earli...
The Full Report On The Sex Boat
So, hey, anybody else actually dug into these whole Vikings criminal complaints, the ones The Smoking Gun grabbed? If you haven't yet, we suggest you do, because it's even more entertaining than you thought. But, we understand, you're very busy at work today. So allow us to help you out. We've dug...
Sex Boat Case Sails Off
It's a sad day when you can't take your rookie teammates out for a little Lake Minnetonka party with a bunch of whores. This goddamned Internet is invading everybody's privacy....
PETA's Super Bowl Shuffle
According to the New York Post, the fine folks at PETA are putting together an commercial for the Super Bowl that will involved female models "'flashing' the camera, and when they lift their shirt, they will have prosthetic udders over their breasts." Ignoring the fact that this is almost, letter ...
Colts Prepare For A Month Of Boredom
With their 26-18 win in Jacksonville, and Tony Dungy's stated preference to not actively pursue the '72 Dolphins undefeated mark, Peyton Manning and Edgerrin James have about a month to do whatever they please....
NFL Roundup: Bengal Breakthrough
• As Arizona Cardinals fans, we always wonder what the day will be like when, after years of torture, our team finally breaks through and shows they're serious about this whole winning business. It must have been that exciting for Bengals fans yesterday. Realize: A baby born the last time the Beng...
Who's Your Favorite Sportswriter's Binkie?
Inspired by a comment in this morning's story about Jason Whitlock and his rips on Michael Irvin, a commenter named Mr. Poon — who runs this site — pointed out something curious about Whitlock. Namely, that Whitlock, in pinch, will fall back on his blind spot; his odd belief that Jeff George (a hi...
Chesnning: Who's Captain, And Who's Tennille?
We totally should have known about this, but we give a firm salute to The Mighty MJD regardless for digging it up: Apparently, Peyton Manning and Kenny Chesney — "Chesnning," as we prefer to call 'em 'round these parts — have actually written a song together. Again, we can't believe we didn't know...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m.. The Fantasy Focus: I'm afraid you've bitten off more than you can chew, ESPN fantasy games expert Eric Karabell — I'm in a Fantasy Chessboxing Pool. Try that one on for size, my nerdy little friend. • 1 p.m. NFL Draft Expert M...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Peter Kerasotis
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom. Yes, you read that correctly. Wisdom. How did Charles Dickens miss the boat on this whole one-sentence paragraph thing? Clearly today's breed of sportswriters are far better wordsmiths than the old quill pen-and-in...
NFL Roundup: Lovie's Kind Of Town
• So here's something crazy: With a break or two, the Chicago Bears could have playoff home-field advantage in the NFC. Still, whether they win the Super Bowl or not, "Ditka" is always going to sound cooler than "Lovie." • We're really starting to maybe think that Chesnning might really lead the C...
Peter King, Hello!
We have always liked Sports Illustrated's Peter King, up until a couple of years ago, at least. He was plugged in, incredible for information, and had that everyman quality we Web people enjoy. But — and maybe because he's gotten all thin now, or maybe it's the breakneck schedule he keeps — he is ...
Manning's Cute Little Cheerleader Problem
As you might have noticed, sometimes we like to make fun of Peyton Manning's (heavily) rumored sexual orientation from time to time. But our degenerate gambler brother at Oddjack has a strange little scoop that implies Peyton likes to hang out with cheerleaders of his own. From former Indianapolis...
Is Peyton Ready For His Closeup?
Well, we've finally rid ourselves of that long-running subplot; the Colts have finally beat the Patriots, in a sadly dull Monday nighter. (Honestly, nobody shows less joy than Peyton Manning after a victory; it's like interviewing a hickish, slightly fey math teacher after he gives a test.) Indian...
Manning Vs. Brady, Monday Night Football. That'll Work.
Tonight's the game that's so huge that Sports Illustrated actually resisted the temptation to put Terrell Owens on the cover for it: Colts at Patriots, Manning vs. Brady, stats vs. results, dogs vs. cats, gay vs. straight, you name it....
Pete Rose Jr. Not Falling Far From Trees
Sometimes, two different worlds of sports collide in unexpected and catastrophic ways. It kind of blows our minds a little bit....
Tom Brady's Existential Crisis
Honestly, does "60 Minutes" interview anyone but athletes anymore? This week's winner of the Steve Kroft Sweepstakes is Tom Brady, who waxes philosophic on his career so far, and what's coming up. He actually goes a little Theo Epstein/Bill Simmons on us, saying how he has sometimes struggled with...