pe Page 612 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pour One Out For The Sad Fucker Who Flunked His Being-Zion Williamson's-Agent Exam
Reader, I will be honest with you: My eyes turned to little wads of chalk and I lapsed into a coma for 50,000 lifetimes of the earth while trying to read this ESPN.com feature about the twists of hotshot rookie Zion Williamson’s path to a sneaker endorsement deal. All I remember about it is the unbe...
Soccer Team's Postgame Fireworks Canceled Due To Plague
If you were hoping to catch some fireworks after Saturday night’s Montreal Impact-Colorado Rapids soccer match, bad news: It’s off because of the damn plague....
Let's Rebrand The Clippers
Steve Ballmer said he is open to renaming/rebranding his basketball team, which would be noble if the rest of the sentence read, “because the amoral pig who owned this before me turned the enterprise into a urinal and even shouting like a lunatic and bringing Jerry West and Kawhi Leonard on board do...
David Griffin And LeBron James Are No Longer Pals
Pelicans general manager David Griffin is one of the toasts of the NBA these days. He will be remembered as the guy who reversed the fortunes of that franchise at the end of the Anthony Davis era, by drafting Zion Williamson and by flipping Davis for a package of useful players and valuable draft as...
MLB Suspends Four Pirates, Three Reds, One Guy Who's Now On A Different Team For Brawl
MLB has announced the fallout for Tuesday night’s brawl during Pirates-Reds: Six players and both managers have been suspended. Pittsburgh relief pitcher Keone Kela “won” with the longest punishment at 10 games, but all the players are appealing theirs....
Anyone Mad At LeBron James For Dadding Out Never Played AAU
At an AAU tournament when I was 16, just minutes before my third game of the day, I ate three slices of pizza and drank a sugar-free Red Bull. I nearly threw up twice during the game, but I got shots up and hit six threes. I think we won that game, but I don’t remember. I don’t remember anyone even ...
Arsenal Are Not Fucking Around This Summer
When Arsenal lost in the Europa League final, it felt like the Gunners were well and truly fucked. That defeat, coupled with a third-consecutive Premier League finish outside the top four, consigned Arsenal to life outside the Champions League for the third year running, presumably a massive setback...
ESPN Baseball Broadcast Derailed By Unbearable Argument Over Lineup Optimization
In the third inning of Wednesday night’s Cubs-Cardinals broadcast on ESPN, play-by-play guy Jon Sciambi brought up an interesting stat about the lousy season-long performance of the second-base and center-field positions for the Cubs. This line of thought led fellow commentator Eduardo Pérez to brin...
Code Red: Jon Gruden Says Nathan Peterman "Is Growing On Me"
When Nathan Peterman finished his tour of pain with the Buffalo Bills last November, he wasn’t sent to football prison, even though that clearly would’ve been the right decision. Peterman earned a second chance with the only team that would make sense for him to give him one. (“Sense” is used lightl...
Brazilian Police Recommend Against Charging Neymar With Rape
Police in Brazil have closed their investigation into the rape allegation against Paris Saint-Germain star Neymar, and recommend that prosecutors not bring charges against him due to a lack of evidence. The prosecutor’s office will have 15 days to “evaluate the case,” according to the AFP....
Jennifer Lopez Surprised Alex Rodriguez With A Birthday Cake, But He Didn't Eat It
Alex Rodriguez was in his usual spot in the Sunday Night Baseball booth for Yankees-Red Sox when he was surprised by fiancée Jennifer Lopez and his two daughters. Saturday was his 44th birthday, and they had brought him a cake. The baked good itself was ... understated....
Giants' Golden Tate Blames Fertility Drug For Failed PED Test, Will Appeal Four-Game Suspension
Giants receiver Golden Tate released a statement on Saturday, stating that the banned substance the league found in a recent drug test came from a fertility medication that a doctor had prescribed to him. In the message posted on Twitter, Tate says he informed the NFL, his coaches and Giants GM Dave...
Derek Jeter Has Enemies In The Hall Of Fame
One of Derek Jeter’s first items of business upon taking over ownership of the Marlins in 2017—a priority so important to him that it was carried out before Jeter had officially taken over—was the sacking of virtually every other big baseball name in the upper ranks of the organization. The house-cl...
![Tour de France Stage Abruptly Called Off Mid-Race After Landslide Ruins The Course [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ikea52pjujhjmop7exzw.jpg)
Tour de France Stage Abruptly Called Off Mid-Race After Landslide Ruins The Course [Update]
Today’s Stage 19 of the Tour de France was set to be a decisive one, with a 13-kilometer ascent up the Col de l’Iseran, followed up by a winding descent into the Val d’Isere, and capped off with a summit finish into the town of Tignes. It would’ve made for great racing, and in fact it did, until the...
Steve Ballmer Wasn't Too Fazed About Jeanie Buss Secretly Calling Him "Ballz"
Clippers owner and shrieking enthusiast Steve Ballmer is riding high these days. His Clippers managed a respectable rebuild without ever going into the tank; Kawhi Leonard jumped ship from a championship squad to join his outfit, and brought Paul George along for the ride; and Thursday he shared wit...
The Night The Dodgers And Pirates Decided To Hold Their Brawl Off The Field
Sagging through the dog days, the Dodgers needed a jolt. Luckily, they had an ideal jolter in their clubhouse. Reggie Smith wasn’t the same player he’d been even recently, his damaged shoulder leaving him unable to throw and limiting him to pinch-hitting duty in every one of his 20 appearances throu...
Earl Thomas Says He Doesn't Regret Flipping The Bird At Pete Carroll
Safety Earl Thomas starred in one of the more iconic images from last year’s NFL campaign when he shot a middle finger toward his own sideline and head coach, Pete Carroll, while being carted off the field after breaking his leg. Now, months later, Thomas says he’s still glad he did it....
Enes Kanter Claims Turkish Embassy Bullied A Mosque Into Canceling His Basketball Camp
In a statement released Wednesday night, Boston Celtics big man Enes Kanter claims that his very public criticism of Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdoğan and his regime has cost him one of his summer basketball camps. In the statement first shared by New York Daily News reporter Stefan Bondy, Kant...