pe Page 616 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cubs' Pedro Strop On Yasiel Puig: "It's Not A Secret He's Stupid. He's Stupid As Fuck."
In the bottom of eighth with a 3-0 count against Yasiel Puig, Cubs pitcher Pedro Strop plunked the Reds outfielder with a 94 mph pitch. Puig was none too happy about the HBP, and began to slowly make his way towards the pitcher, which led to both benches clearing before any real punches were thrown....
Aging Fraud Luis Suárez Misses Only Penalty In Shootout Against Peru, Ends Uruguay's Copa América Campaign
The trade-off in having Luis Suárez on a team has always been for every person he bites, black player he racially abuses, or referee he headbutts, he’ll score at least a couple dozen goals to make up for all of that shithousery. But it appears that as he’s reached his 30s, the playing abilities that...
The Man Who Walked His Life Away
George Wilson stepped out into the medieval-walled prison yard and began to walk. He was 47 years old, beaten-down, and half-starved. His squat frame and stubby legs hardly suggested athletic excellence. But Wilson was well-known as a perambulator, a peregrinator, and a master of “leg-ology.” He was...
The Lakers Are Really Going For it
The Lakers have cleared the decks. They’ve stripped away every player from the roster who they do not view as central to their next championship push. It turns out the list of remaining players is hilariously small and remarkably expensive, and before filling out the margins the Lakers very much ho...
Barcelona And Valencia's Goalkeeper Swap Looks Shady As Hell
Yesterday, Barcelona announced that they had sold goalkeeper Jasper Cillessen to Valencia, for a fee of €35 million. Today, Valencia announced that they had sold goalkeeper Neto to Barcelona, for a fee of €26 million with €9 million in add-ons. In doing so, Barcelona and Valencia traded goalkeepers,...
A Scout's Honor
You don’t get to choose which parts of your past are remembered. ...
The Madman Theory Of The Montreal/Tampa Bay Rays
Any self-respecting student of insane Machiavellian gambits should be familiar with the Madman Theory, Richard Nixon’s self-invented strategy for winning the war in Vietnam. The theory, as recounted by Nixon chief of staff H.R. Haldeman after he got out of jail for his role in Watergate, went like t...
Enes Kanter Calls Zion Williamson "Overhyped," "Julius Randle With Hops"
Apologies in advance for presenting the unsuspecting reader with any portion of any conversation between Colin Cowherd and Enes Kanter, as nobody’s day necessarily needed that. But here is their exchange today on the subject of Zion Williamson:...
Almost Every Penalty Kick Save Ever Is Illegal Now And It's A Mess
The idea, which is not an unreasonable one on its face, is to “get it right.” The less inspiring extension of that is “to avoid something horribly embarrassing.” There are examples that spring to mind when it comes to justifying VAR’s existence—the people in charge are probably thinking of moments ...
In Andy Ruiz Jr.'s Hometown, Boxing And Border Patrol Are All Part Of The Scenery
IMPERIAL, Calif. — On Andy Ruiz Jr. Day in Imperial, the temperature had already climbed past 90 degrees by 9 a.m. The cooler wind that had been blowing earlier in the morning had retreated back to the Laguna Mountains to the west, whose peaks were now shrouded in a marine layer that refused to push...
Todd Frazier Upset He Hit Home Run Instead Of Deep Fly-Out
The Mets have been having an off day in the sense that they’re actually on the winning side of an embarrassing rout for once. Of course, such breaks in normalcy are bound to happen when the weather is on your side. Such was the case in the top of the third when Todd Frazier from Toms River, N.J. was...
The Phillies' Leadoff Problem Is Compounding Their Even Larger Bryce Harper Problem
The Washington Nationals finished off a weather-shortened three-game series sweep of the Philadelphia Phillies Thursday night. The Phillies are in a bit of a swoon, having lost eight of their last 13 games. That stretch isn’t so arbitrary as it might seem—Andrew McCutchen succumbed to a season-endin...
All Your Assets Are Belong To The Pelicans
The trade that sent Anthony Davis from the New Orleans Pelicans to the Los Angeles Lakers was a good one. The Lakers got a superstar to pair with LeBron James, and the Pelicans got a hefty package of young players and draft picks to put toward rebuilding their roster. One of the top assets to change...
Cameroon Advance To World Cup Knockout Round With Ludicrous, Last-Minute Solo Goal
Facing elimination from the Women’s World Cup and desperately searching for a late goal to push them through to the knockout rounds, Cameroon countered a late New Zealand throw-in with a burst forward toward the Football Ferns’ net in the 95th minute. It was Cameroon’s goal, but most of the credit s...
Lakers GM Rob Pelinka Is Reportedly Learning How The Salary Cap Works In Real Time
The Los Angeles Lakers are going to enter next season with a roster of extremes. On one hand, LeBron James and Anthony Davis seem like the league’s most seamless pick-and-roll partnership. On the other, the team seems determined to add a third maximum salary player to its books, which will inherentl...
Lovable Asshole Corey Perry's Time With The Ducks Is Over
In an unsurprising yet still kind of melancholy move, the Anaheim Ducks have bought out the last two years of Corey Perry’s pricey contract, making him an unrestricted free agent for the offseason. Perry, the 34-year-old winger, played his whole 14-year career with Anaheim, and he leaves the franchi...
Let's Remember Some Guys: American Gladiators Beyond Thunderdome
How smart do you want your sports to be, really? Not the athletes involved, who will invariably have the kind of fast and opportunistic and almost automatic intelligence that athletes display in the moment, but the sport itself. Do you want it to be complex and governed by arcane rules, or just so s...
The Jets Really Biffed It On Jacob Trouba
Let’s stipulate that the Jets had to trade Jacob Trouba. The 25-year-old defenseman had made it quite clear that he had no intentions of signing an extension in Winnipeg, and the Jets had no intention of paying what it would cost to keep Trouba when he becomes an unrestricted free agent next summer—...
Matt Carpenter Beats A Marlins Shift With A Standup Bunt Double
Turns out the solo dinger he smashed in the bottom of the third inning was not the coolest thing Matt Carpenter did against the Miami Marlins Monday night, not by a long shot. With two down in the bottom of the fifth inning, the Marlins shifted their defense to the right side to face Carpenter. Carp...
FOX U.S. Open Coverage Takes Time Out To Glorify How Fucked Up Carmel Is
Yesterday Gary Woodland and his MAGA-friendly spikes held off golfing Terminator Brooks Koepka and won the U.S. Open. It was a classic example of a formerly unknown player revealing himself as a bloodless, stress-proof killer over the course and spending four days fending off all comers for a first ...