pe Page 619 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lakers GM Rob Pelinka Apparently Made Up A Bizarre Story About Kobe Bryant And Heath Ledger
I know we already wrote about ESPN’s delightfully detailed account of the Lakers’ deep-seated institutional rot, but this phony story GM Rob Pelinka invented about Kobe Bryant and Heath Ledger is too good not to call specific attention to....
A Punjabi Hockey Announcer Is Changing The Face Of Canada's Favorite Sport
You might already be familiar with hockey play-by-play announcer Harnarayan Singh’s work. His goal call for Nick Bonino’s winner in Game 1 of the 2016 Stanley Cup Playoffs went viral in hockey spheres, inspiring the Penguins to their fourth championship and inspiring everyone else to think, “Hold up...
Whoo Buddy, The Lakers Sound Like A Real Mess
Call ‘em the Showtime Lakers again, not because their utter organizational collapse of this past season was fun to watch—though it was definitely fun to watch—but because they melted down with levels of violence and obscenity that belong on premium cable. Luke Walton is gone as coach, replaced with ...
Phil Kessel Is On The Trade Block And That's Probably For The Best
One of the hardest things to do in the NHL is to rebuild a team on the fly—to remake the roster, usually younger and cheaper, while still remaining competitive. The Blackhawks are the success story of the salary cap era, but even they had to pay the piper eventually. Now it’s the Penguins’ turn, tho...
Let's Remember Some Guys: The Large Men Of Fleer
There are ways in which the basketball currently being played in the NBA is an evolved version of the basketball played there a decade or so ago. It really is more open in a bunch of ways, for instance, and as a result there are new possibilities in each game that simply would not have fit in the NB...
Respect Is Poison: A Message To The Class Of 2019
I have a story to tell you about being Mad Online. This isn’t really a fitting, celebratory story for you, the graduating class of 2019. You’re currently clad in your caps and your gowns, surrounded by loved ones, forced to endure one final round of grueling lectures from a cadre of respected gradua...
Pope Thrower Is The 2019 Name Of The Year
There was 1:09 left on the clock when Eli Manning, under pressure from the New England Patriots defense, hurled the football downfield. The three-time world champion Patriots, up 14-10 at the time, were defending a perfect run through the regular season and postseason. At that point, only the 1972 M...
Bryce Harper Got These Suckers Good
Bryce Harper, fresh off reminding the baseball world that he is indeed capable of throwing the damn dick off the ball, found himself in an interesting situation during last night’s game in Chicago. After catching a fly ball and recording the final out of the sixth inning, he heard pleas from the rig...
Bryce Harper Can Still Throw The Dick Off A Damn Baseball
Bryce Harper’s hitting still mostly hasn’t come around. He’s socked a couple impressive dingers recently, but he’s still batting just .229 on the season after putting up another 0-fer Monday night against the Cubs. Ultimately it’ll be his plate production that determines whether the Phillies are get...
Mets Say Yoenis Cespedes Suffered "Ankle Fractures" In An Incident On His Ranch
Yoenis Cespedes hasn’t played for the Mets since last July, when he returned after months on the DL for exactly one game, homered, and then announced that he needed season-ending heel surgery. The outfielder will now be out for even longer thanks to a mysterious incident on his ranch in Port St. Luc...
Magic Johnson Visits <i>First Take</i>, Talks A Whole Bunch Of Shit About Lakers GM Rob Pelinka
Former Los Angeles Lakers president and current Twitter user Magic Johnson joined ESPN’s First Take this morning to talk about his embarrassing exit from the team, the sorry state of the franchise headed into a critical summer, and the confusing power structure within the organization. Johnson doesn...
Soccer Referee Dies After Suffering Heart Attack During A Match In Bolivia
Víctor Hugo Hurtado was refereeing Sunday’s Bolivian first division match between Always Ready and Oriente Petrolero when he collapsed on the pitch midgame due to a reported heart attack. Stadium support staff took Hurtado to a local hospital, where the 31-year-old suffered another heart attack and ...
Bryce Harper Mashed A Tater Over The Damn Batter's Eye
Bryce Harper’s been having a rough go of it lately. He’s been a semi-regular subject of the Philadelphia faithful’s boo birds, and is hitting a less-than-impressive .222/.363/.430 slash line. He’s also striking out a shit ton. Yet, there’s still a reason why Philadelphia decided to give him a $330 ...
Lamar Odom Says He Used "A Giant, Rubber, Black Cock" To Pass His Drug Test For The 2004 Olympics
Lamar Odom was in a bit of a pickle in 2004. He had accomplished a lifelong dream in getting named to the Team USA Olympic basketball roster set to go to Athens that summer. All he had to do to officially join the team was pass a drug test a few days after he got the call. The problem was that he’d ...
Report: The Jets Are Hoping To Get Peyton Manning As Their New GM
Adam Gase’s promotion to interim general manager of the Jets might becoming to an end soon. The Jets seem to have realized that handing such an important position to someone just because they were more aggressive in a power struggle might not have been too smart, so they’re on the lookout for a perm...
Recommitted Cardinals Star Patrick Peterson Hit With Six-Game PED Suspension
Arizona Cardinals all-world cornerback Patrick Peterson has been suspended by the NFL for the first six games of the 2019-20 regular season, for violation of the league’s policy on performance enhancing substances. According to Mike Garafolo of NFL Network, Peterson’s suspension includes four games ...
Nick Kyrgios Says He's "Fucking Done" During Tantrum, And It's Hard Not To Believe Him
Of all Nick Kyrgios’s many many many many tantrums, the one he unleashed today at the Italian Open was his most over-the-top display yet. On the heels of a brutally honest interview with tennis writer Ben Rothenberg, in which Kyrgios admitted winning tennis matches doesn’t make him happy, that he do...
This Lady Running Like A Horse Is Really, Really Good At Running Like A Horse
This is Ayla Kirstine, a Norwegian woman who went viral on German Twitter this week for running like a horse. You may have questions—“Why is she running like a horse?” would be a good one—though you cannot deny that this pferdmädchen is extremely good at running, and even jumping, like a horse....
What Will Zion Williamson Put Up His Rookie Year?
Barring some unlikely outcomes—an inspiring protest that gets him out of New Orleans, a defiant but ultimately depressing return to the accursed NCAA—Zion Williamson will suit up for the Pelicans this fall. What will he do there?...
Vancouver Whitecaps Goalie Pulls Off Three Spectacular Saves In A Row
If there’s one thing better than a good goalkeeper boner, it’s a goalkeeper thwarting an attacking onslaught by turning into a brick wall. Think Tim Howard at the 2014 World Cup, or David de Gea last season (before his brain broke and he became sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit)....