pe Page 627 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
“On an early afternoon in late February, I looked up into the vacant eyes of a demon Teddy Roosevelt.” Emma Baccellieri of Sports Illustrated attended the auditions for driver of the Nationals’ new bullpen cart, and found herself putting her driving skills to the test around the “Curly W”-shaped cou...
It Shouldn't Be So Hard To Enjoy The Red Sox's Glory Days
Entering its 24th year of existence, the Baseball Prospectus Annual contains over 2,000 player profiles, advanced statistics and projections, as well as thirty team essays. One of those pieces, an exemplary one written by Boston Globe columnist Chad Finn, is provided here as a sample of the prose an...
It Shouldn't Be So Hard To Enjoy The Red Sox's Glory Days
Entering its 24th year of existence, the Baseball Prospectus Annual contains over 2,000 player profiles, advanced statistics and projections, as well as thirty team essays. One of those pieces, an exemplary one written by Boston Globe columnist Chad Finn, is provided here as a sample of the prose an...
Clippers Broadcast Crew Jokes About What Robert "Tractor" Traylor's Up To These Days, Forgets He Died<em></em>
During the first quarter of Monday’s Mavericks-Clippers game, Clippers announcers Ralph Lawler and Don MacLean took a look back and discussed the draft day trade that sent Dirk Nowitzki (and Pat Garrity) to Dallas in 1998, in exchange for Robert “Tractor” Traylor to Milwaukee. Such a lopsided trade...
Tennis Prodigy Félix Auger-Aliassime Is Past The Internet Hype And Looks Like The Truth
As of today there are only two teenagers in the top 100 of men’s tennis. The game skews older than ever, and a player breaking into its top tier before even fully growing into his body has never seemed more difficult. There are no more Rafa-like wunderkinds ripping off major titles, and as baseline ...
<i>Last Chance U </i>Coach Who Told German Player "I'm Your New Hitler" Resigns, Blames Newspaper For Reporting It
Independence Community College head football coach Jason Brown, who was featured on the Netflix show Last Chance U, said early this morning that he would be resigning from his position after he texted “I’m your new Hitler” to German player Alexandros Alexiou. Oh, was that too much?...
Report: NFL Will Consider Whether Celebrations Are Becoming Too Much Fun<em></em>
After a season of increased scoring—Super Bowl not included—a new wave of breakout stars like Patrick Mahomes, and an embrace of the idea that, hey, maybe football can be enjoyable to watch, the NFL will discuss the possibility of reining in some of that joy during this week’s competition committee ...
Why Is Baseball's Biggest Drama So Damned Boring?
Bryce Harper has been “about to sign” with the Philadelphia Phillies for two weeks now, including one weekend when Andy MacPhail, the team’s chief baseball brain, said the Phillies were good with what they had and weren’t looking to add much in firepower or the payroll to fuel it....
The Cowardly Pelicans Use "Rest" To Yank Anthony Davis Out Of The Lakers Matchup
The Pelicans, the mostly abandoned side project of the New Orleans Saints organization, host the Los Angeles Lakers Saturday evening. Under normal circumstances this would make for a promising matchup—LeBron James versus Anthony Davis! Superstars collide! Under another set of perfectly reasonable ci...
Connor McDavid Suspended Two Games For Check To The Head
The NHL has suspended Edmonton Oilers superstar Connor McDavid for two games after he made an illegal check to the head of Islanders defenseman Nick Leddy in a 4-3 Oilers win on Thursday night. McDavid’s shoulder made contact with Leddy’s head on a hit where head contact was avoidable, the NHL says ...
Goalkeeper's Boner Overshadowed By Striker's Even Bigger Boner
Libertad goalkeeper Martín Silva must’ve thought he was the biggest idiot on the pitch when his error served up an incredibly easy scoring opportunity for Atlético Nacional forward Omar Duarte in a Copa Libertadores match Thursday night. Luckily for Silva, Duarte one-upped the keeper with an even wo...
Penguins Fight Sharks, Coach Mike Sullivan Gets Tossed After Evander Kane Glances At Whiteboard
During a third-period TV timeout in Thursday’s Sharks-Penguins game, San Jose’s Evander Kane said he snuck a peek at the opposing team’s whiteboard to see what they were going to run. Maybe it was because the Penguins were already behind 3-0, or maybe the tactic broke some unwritten hockey rule, but...
You Don't Have To Believe Any Of This Shit
A non-refundable $45 fee on a bank statement whose existence cannot be explained by anyone; Raytheon’s Twitter account responding to a jape from Lockheed Martin’s Twitter account with a GIF of a grimacing Steve Carell from an episode of The Office; a show on The Learning Channel that is just goatee...
The Winnipeg Jets Are Slipping And Getting Grumpy
The Colorado Avalanche took the Winnipeg Jets to the cleaners Wednesday night, taking a 2-0 lead after two periods and then pouring it on in the third for a 7-1 victory. The defeat marks the third loss in a row for the Jets, and they’re now 2-4-2 in their last eight games....
Wisconsin High School Will Retire "Big Boobie" And "Big Booty" Awards For Its Cheerleaders
After catching hell from the ACLU and basically everyone else, a Wisconsin high school will end a series of objectifying awards that were handed out to its cheerleading squad, according to the AP. The New York Times reported Tuesday on the “Big Boobie” and “Big Booty” honorifics that were handed out...
Report: Wisconsin School District Under Fire Over Coach Handing Out Gross, Objectifying Awards To High School Cheerleaders
Professional cheerleaders being subjected to degrading and objectifying appraisals and overall treatment is, infuriatingly, pretty much par for the course. Frankly, it’s probably old hat at every level, but anyway this story out of Wisconsin is a useful reminder of just how much gross shit cheerlead...
Huge American Servebot Reilly Opelka Will Render John Isner Obsolete<em></em>
John Isner, the leading American man in tennis, has a simple calling card: being 6-foot-10 and serving bombs. He’s the most prominent purveyor of the American Man Style of tennis: giant delivery, giant forehand, full stop. That’s been enough to make him a top-20 fixture, a historically successful h...
Angry Horse Racing Attendees Turn English Racecourse Into Merseyside Mosh Pit
Action at the Haydock racecourse had to be brought to a momentary halt on Saturday when a group of spectators engaged in a minor brawl in the area right next to the track. Initial reports estimated about anywhere from 40 to 60 people were involved in the tussle, but the Guardian reports that CCTV fo...
Don Cherry Whines Like An Old Pissbaby About The Carolina Hurricanes' Postgame Celebrations
Well, it was bound to happen eventually. The secret society of old, decrepit members of hockey media recently had a meeting and decided that Don Cherry would be the latest ancient asswipe to drone on about the Carolina Hurricanes and the team’s postgame celebrations. For those unaware, one of the m...