pe Page 632 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
There's Nothing To Say About This Super Bowl
The week leading up to the Super Bowl is always bad for one reason or another. Sometimes it’s because one particular storyline gets beaten into the ground by every media outlet; other times it’s because a particularly loathsome team or player or coach gets hyped so thoroughly that the mere mention o...
Humorless Pittsburgh News Station Fires Employee For Graphic Calling Tom Brady A "Known Cheater"
A Pittsburgh TV station has fired an employee who used a chyron calling Tom Brady a “known cheater” into a broadcast on Monday, SI.com reported. ...
Jrue Holiday Put A Nice Marinade On James Harden, Slapped Him On The Grill, And Then Ate Him Up
The biggest casualty of the Anthony Davis exodus may well be his poor sidekick Jrue Holiday, who is playing his proud butt off this season, as he generally does. Unless he too can engineer an escape from New Orleans, one of the NBA’s best two-way guards is going to have to make do with LeBron’s bear...
Joel Embiid, Who Is Joel Embiid: “I’m Joel, Joel Embiid”
The Sixers routed the LeBron-less Lakers last night, 121-105. It was kind of a weird game for Philly. Jimmy Butler played point guard. Ben Simmons played power forward. One thing was the same: Kendall Jenner was in attendance, improving the Sixers’ record to 12-2 when she’s there. ...
Jahlil Okafor, Of All People, Leads The Gutted Pelicans To A Road Victory Over The Rockets
The list of guys who couldn’t play Tuesday night for the Pelicans is very nearly a list of every established and half-decent player on the roster. This was a nationally televised game against the surging Rockets, and the lineups foretold an ugly, lopsided massacre:...
NHL Suspends Predators' Austin Watson For "Ongoing Issues With Alcohol Abuse"
Nashville Predators forward Austin Watson has been suspended indefinitely without pay by the NHL, and has entered the second stage of the league’s substance abuse program, for “ongoing issues with alcohol abuse.” ...
NBA Fines Anthony Davis For Self-Tampering In Public, Alarming Onlookers<em></em>
ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski reported Monday that the NBA was investigating Pelicans center Anthony Davis for self-tampering in front of God and everyone. Davis expressing (through his agent) the desire to be traded, on and all over the record, scandalized the Pelicans to the point that the team put ou...
Today Was Somehow The Stupidest Day Yet In The Bryce Harper Sweepstakes
Today felt like it could have finally been the day we got some movement in the frigid pursuit of the two top free agents in baseball, but it was not meant to be. Despite what felt like all of Philly Twitter trying to will it into existence, Bryce Harper did not sign with the Phillies on Tuesday. Why...
Why Your Dumb Team Won't Trade For Anthony Davis
As you surely know by now, New Orleans Pelicans superstar Anthony Davis requested a trade. He wants to leave that derelict organization for one that will give him a chance to contend for championships. The Pelicans can deal him by next Thursday’s trade deadline, or they can wait until the season end...
Report: Anthony Davis Burns With A Desire That Can Only Be Satisfied By Joining The Lakers
After the flaming supernova that is Anthony Davis put in a trade request earlier this week, sending both the New Orleans Pelicans into panic mode and the rest of the NBA into a rabid frenzy, all that was left to discover was how Davis would go about exerting his considerable leverage to land in a pr...
Hate The Patriots For The Right Reason
The idea as pitched was to do one more takeout of the essential evil that is the New England Patriots collective—because, yeah, that’s never been done before. Up until now, it’s been one hagiography after another, because the Patriots have been so damned cuddly and cheek-pinchable. The helmet logo i...
I Went Backstage At The Puppy Bowl And Tried To Interview A Bunch Of Puppies
The Puppy Bowl began as Super Bowl counterprogramming. Everyone’s watching football, so why not just throw a bunch of puppies on the screen and call it a day? Somehow, that worked not just as filler but as actual programming. The Puppy Bowl airs Sunday for the 15th straight year....
Lonzo Ball Would Prefer To Be Traded Where He Can Start Right Away, Just As I Would Prefer To Stalk My Enemies From Atop A Mighty Tyrannosaur
The Lakers are expected to offer some combination of young foundational players to the Pelicans in exchange for Anthony Davis, who requested a trade from New Orleans over the weekend. The most prominent of those young players is one Lonzo Ball, who by this time last year was viewed as the crown jew...
NBA Investigating Anthony Davis Trade Request For Signs Of Self-Tampering
Anthony Davis has requested a trade from the New Orleans Pelicans, a half-assed basketball operation that squandered all but a few hours of his NBA career to date. Adrian Wojnarowski reported it; he had the scoop because Rich Paul, Davis’s agent, told him. Just a few hours later, the Pelicans public...
Golfer Loses $100,000 Thanks To Bullshit Violation Of New Rule
Haotong Li should have finished in a five-way tie for third place at last weekend’s Dubai Desert Classic. It would have been a somewhat disappointing finish given that he came into the final round only one shot off of the leader’s pace, though he still would have left the United Arab Emirates with a...
Right Now There Is No Answer To Novak Djokovic
Novak Djokovic heaped pre-match praise on his final Australian Open opponent, because it was a deeply familiar one. “Nadal has historically throughout my life and career been the greatest rival that I ever played against on all the surfaces,” he said of their 52-match tug-of-war, which had split 27-...
Naomi Osaka Found Herself In Danger, Turned Into A Robot, And Held It Down
It could have unraveled so quickly for Naomi Osaka. Up a set and 5-3, having whittled Petra Kvitova’s service game down to 0-40, Osaka had three straight opportunities to claim her first Australian Open. None of them got her there. First Kvitova tore the court open with her fiercest groundstrokes, l...
Report: Anthony Davis Requests Trade Out Of New Orleans
Anthony Davis has asked the New Orleans Pelicans to trade him “to a team that allows him a chance to win consistently and compete for a championship,” his agent, Rich Paul, told ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski in a report this morning. That trade, if it eventually happens, could be one of the most consequ...
Today In Awkward Photos
Love a good congratulatory fondle....
