pe Page 717 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Newspaper Scientists Engineer Story That Will Make Everyone Self-Righteously Angry
It’s easy to write a story that pisses off one or two demographics. But how can you piss off every demographic simultaneously—all for different reasons? At last, the New York Times may have pinpointed how to accomplish this proud feat. ...
College Athletic Directors Ready To Schmooze With Congress At Trump-Branded Hotel
Moving to Washington, D.C. and starting a PAC doesn’t make as many as waves as it used to. Luckily for college athletic directors, Donald Trump has his name on a hotel....
Tracy Claeys Has No Idea What He's Talking About
The Tracy Claeys redemption tour has begun and, as this particular sort of redemption tour tends to, it’s already revealing more about how ridiculous it is for football coaches to be seen as righteous educational and intellectual leaders than anything else. On Tuesday, Claeys was fired—in part, admi...
This <i>Wall Street Journal</i> Comment Section Offers A Rare Peek Into The World Of Whites
The media often makes reference to White America and its mysterious attitudes. But where can you gain access to this closed group? You must journey deep, deep into the rabbit hole. ...
Serena Williams Loses To World No. 72, Commits 88 Unforced Errors
Serena Williams, the second-ranked woman’s tennis player in the world, lost to No. 72 Madison Brengle in a 6-4, 6-7(3), 6-4 upset at the ASB Classic in Auckland, New Zealand last night. ...
Here Is An Extremely Good Dunk And An Even Better Reaction
This is Derek Harper, a 5-foot-11 guard for Clark Atlanta who can warp through defenders and dunk them into oblivion. Watch him touch the sky last night....
Murder Case Against Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka Dismissed
The murder case against former pro wrestler Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka has been dismissed, according to multiple reports. The decision ends what seemed less than two years ago like a chance to finally see a court trial in the bizarre 1983 death of Snuka’s then-girlfriend Nancy Argentino in Allentown, Pa...
Just Rafael Nadal Holding A Koala
One of the under-looked perks of tennis stardom is that you’re often being handed marsupials. Rafael Nadal got to hold this koala at the start of the Brisbane International. His grin and the bear’s claws appear to be saying very different things....
![Anti-Dakota Access Pipeline Protesters Hang Enormous Banner During Vikings Game [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/x80w9jgnhhnyhuryonwo.jpg)
Anti-Dakota Access Pipeline Protesters Hang Enormous Banner During Vikings Game [Updates]
Protesters calling for U.S. Bank to stop funding the Dakota Access Pipeline project hung a huge banner from the Vikings’ stadium during Minnesota’s game against the Bears today:...
What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?<em></em>
OK, so you’ve already learned about all the things we shoved inside ourselves last year. But what about our dangly bits? Rest assured, we punished them....
Prosecutor Says No Charges For Gopher Football Players, Again, After Minnesota Wins Its Bowl Game
The Hennepin County (Minn.) District Attorney’s Office announced today, for a second time, that it had reviewed the evidence against the group of Golden Gophers football players accused of raping a fellow student and decided there was not enough to bring a criminal case. But before going into what p...
Premier League Ref Wants In On The Chinese Soccer Gravy Train
With all of the gargantuan contracts the Chinese Super League has handed out to star(ish) soccer players over the last year or so, it was only a matter of time before those on the sport’s periphery started batting their eyes eastward, hoping to secure some of those seemingly infinite riches for them...
Peggy Noonan Extends Her Sympathy To Those That She Helped To Make Poor
As this year of imprudent surprise comes to an end, Reagan-era porcelain urn Peggy Noonan turns her forgiving gaze to the lessers—they are poor, you see. But why? ...
Baseball Hall Of Fame Voting Is Fascinating Right Now
Dec. 31 is the deadline for BBWAA members to submit their Hall of Fame ballots, and nearly one third of them have already made their ballots public. And here’s a hell of a thing: Probably not this year, but Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens will make the Hall of Fame within a couple of years....
Carlos Tevez Signs With Chinese Team, Will Only Be Super Rich Rather Than Mega Rich
As expected, former Juventus and Argentina national team star striker Carlos Tevez has officially signed with Chinese Super League club Shanghai Shenhua. And while rumor had it that Tevez was set to be the highest paid soccer player in the world, it appears that he’ll have to settle for a spot in th...
Marc-Andre Fleury Knocks One Out Of Midair
This is a remarkable, remarkably unorthodox save from Marc-Andre Fleury in the Penguins’ 5-2 win in New Jersey last night. Adam Henrique’s shot was deflected by Ian Cole and bounced up and over Fleury, who made a diving, flailing rescue with the blade of his stick to alley-oop it out of danger....
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?<em></em><em></em>
Deadspin’s Christmas Day tradition returns. It is time to sound the depths of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits. Below are the strangest, most awkwardly shaped, and least pleasant objects that America has shoved into its various holes. God bless us, eve...