pe Page 739 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Nearly Perfect: The Night The Bulls Were Tired
On April 8, 1996, the Chicago Bulls trudged into the United Center on an unseasonably cold Monday night to face the Charlotte Hornets. They hadn’t lost at home in 44 games. The Hornets, meanwhile, entered the game as the East’s eighth seed, with a record that was just one game over .500....
Dangle Yourself From This Fitness Strap For Core Strength, And Also Pain
The gym looked like a South American greenhouse: paned with glass, painted in greens ranging from pastel to neon, studded with tropical foliage, an unevenly paved brick patio sprouting weeds, all surfaces blanketed in a thin film of dust. Everything was highly functional but had the vague look of di...
Carson Wentz Owned By Mighty Bathroom Lock
Let’s check in on the Eagles’ alleged franchise quarterback, Carson Wentz, for whom they traded two first-round picks and three other draft picks. How’s he doing? How’s preseason camp? Arm feeling alright, young buck?...
Ichiro Is The True Hit King And Pete Rose Can Eat Shit
Today, Ichiro Suzuki hit an eighth-inning double off of Fernando Rodney to the right field corner. He sent Giancarlo Stanton to third, and he trotted into second base easily, looking mildly annoyed more than anything before he briefly removed his batting helmet to salute the crowd. If you count his ...
They Threw A Parade For Phil Kessel
The Pittsburgh Penguins held their Stanley Cup parade today, but really, all I care about is what Phil Kessel did....
This Hilarious, Imaginative Icelandic Twitter Account Is The One To Follow For The Euros
“And now the unfortunate Portuguese will feel the mighty thunder of Þór’s Icelandic warriors” read the first tweet from Iceland’s English-language magazine, the Reykjavík Grapevine, during their coverage of their teeny tiny nation’s Euro 2016 match against Portugal. It didn’t take long after that fo...
Nearly Perfect: Night Of The Raptor
Maybe it started when they named the team after a dinosaur in a Steven Spielberg movie, or when the first player they ever drafted refused to report, or when the team’s greatest player left the country to attend his college graduation on the morning of the biggest game in franchise history. But if y...
Nearly Perfect: Modern Basketball Arrived Before Anyone Knew How To Play It
Over the past 20 years basketball has evolved from a sport based around throwing the ball to brutes in the post into one based around flighty sprites flinging three-pointers from ever-increasing distances. But in watching a Bulls-Knicks game from 1996, it was illuminating to understand how this actu...
L.A. Galaxy Require Cheap, Fake Goal To Beat Fifth-Division Beer League Team
“Obviously you’re going to bleed every precious second off the clock,” the announcer notes, as the L.A. Galaxy are nursing a 2-1 lead with only 10 men against La Maquina, obviously a fearsome opponent, given the Galaxy’s desire to nurse the clock. Wait, who are La Maquina?...
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Not Mad. This Is Actually Funny To Him.
Underwear mogul/ab demon Cristiano Ronaldo and his Portuguese teammates opened their Euro 2016 campaign against Iceland today. It was the tiny island’s first European Championship game ever, and they managed to come from behind and tie Portugal, 1-1. Portugal had 27 shots, 10 on goal, and 66 percent...
Just How In The Hell Did This Guy Not Crash?
For some reason, the Tour de Suisse decided that a good place to stick a finish line was 100 meters after a 90-degree corner. When Danny van Poppel tried to squeeze past Peter Sagan on the inside corner, he clipped wheels and was on course to eat shit into the barrier until he made a miraculous save...
Another Vanderbilt Rape Retrial Has Begun
Another retrial has begun for one of the former Vanderbilt football players originally convicted of rape last year. It was more than a year ago when a jury found Cory Batey and Brandon Vandenburg guilty on all charges for their parts in raping an unconscious woman and recording the attack on cell ph...
I Don't Fully Believe That NBA Players Spend Their Riches At Express
You might be unfazed by a new study that told you the average player in the NBA—where the average salary last season was $4 million and the median salary was just shy of $2 million—spends $42,500 a month. (Give him another week and he’ll spend more than the median American household earns in a year:...
Fine, The Cavs And The Warriors Are Going To Play Another Game
Noted Golden State Warriors stan and fanboy blogger Kevin Draper was too busy getting drunk tonight, so we’re the ones helping you cope with the game you watched. It was neither a memorable nor horrible game, but even the NBA gets a case of the Mondays. Here are some thoughts ......
"Fuck Steph Curry" Goes Viral And/Or "Viral"
A song for the haters ... or, perhaps, the allies?...
LOSER CRY BABY JAMES
Photo: Kevin Draper enjoys a basketball game....
Baylor Boosters Want Art Briles Back, And That's Disgusting
One of the worst-kept secrets in college football is that the president, the athletic director, and the football coach aren’t actually in charge. This isn’t to absolve them of their responsibilities—they have many, which they love using as selling points when talking to moms about building better me...
What Will Phil Kessel Do On His Day With The Stanley Cup?
It’s tough to put a finger on exactly what the knock on Phil Kessel in Toronto was; it seemed to morph to fit whatever the Leafs’ deficiency was that week. Sometimes it was that he wasn’t a winner, sometimes he had a bad attitude. He wasn’t in shape, he didn’t make his teammates better, he wasn’t mo...
The Penguins Get The Cup They Deserved
Way back at the start of the season—2015 feels like forever ago—the Penguins were mediocre, slumping, solidly midtable, unable to score. They had top-level talent, the knock went, but were mortally lacking in depth. Mike Sullivan was coaching the AHL’s Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins; Matt Murray was...
Peru Knock Brazil Out Of Copa América On Obvious, Uncalled Handball
Peru earned their first in-competition win over Brazil since 1975 thanks to an incredibly obvious handball that interrupted the game for several minutes and appeared to leave the referee in a state of catatonic confusion....