pe Page 769 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You're Gonna Trash Your Halloween Costume, So Here's How To Clean It
On this episode of the official Ask a Clean Person podcast, The Hairpin’s Haley Mlotek joined me to talk all about the very best day of the year: Halloween! The Hairpin has a storied history of going in big for Halloween, and so it was such a joy to have Haley join me in the studio to talk about cle...
<i>The Wild Bunch </i>Is Still Nasty, Unrelenting, And Pretty Goddamn Great
Imagine being alive in 1969 and going to see The Wild Bunch when it was new. It was released in an era when American movies were changing, and when audiences were getting more and more used to seeing gruesome violence onscreen, like in Bonnie & Clyde. Granted, it was still a time when movies would t...
¡Es Insano! Timbers Advance In MLS Playoffs After Breaking Physics In PKs
Portland Timbers are moving on in the MLS playoffs after defeating Sporting Kansas City in a wild match that required eleven rounds of penalties—with the winner being scored by, and then saved by, Timbers keeper Adam Kwarasey....
Mark Cuban Is Still Incredibly Heated About The DeAndre Jordan War
Over the summer the Dallas Mavericks thought they had signed DeAndre Jordan, only for him to renege on his verbal commitment and re-sign with the Clippers. The NBA schedule-makers—ever the delightful trolls—gave us a national TV Mavericks-Clippers game for the Clippers’ home opener, and reporters na...
Austin Rivers Might Be In Trouble For Hitting A Fan With A Seat Cushion
Clippers guard Austin Rivers, the NBA’s Draco Malfoy, is reportedly being investigated by the league after allegedly hitting a fan with a seat cushion during last night’s game against the Kings....
Thabo Sefolosha Opens Up About The Night The NYPD Broke His Leg
Atlanta Hawks wingman Thabo Sefolosha made news on April 18 when he was arrested along with his teammate Pero Antic at 1 Oak, a nightclub in New York, and charged with resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, and obstruction of governmental administration....
Report: Vernon Davis And Joe Staley Fought Over Colin Kaepernick
Like all bad teams eventually do, the San Francisco 49ers have reached the “players-only meeting” stage of their season, and they’re already off to a strong start....
You Frickin' Blew It, Royals Santa
All right, this is the moment! I’ve been hangin’ out here alllll night, sweatin’ bullets in my blue Santa outfit, and now I’m about to get on TV! Here comes the reporter! Okay, just gonna play it cool. Gonna be real chill. Gotta remember not to curse, though!...
A Guide To Cleaning Every Possible Halloween Mess (Including Fake Blood)
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
"Baked Sausage Meat Ring" Is Much Better Than It Sounds (Or Looks)
The Woe of Cooking is an ongoing fiasco where the guy who does the Beer Idiot unearths the weirdest, grossest recipes he can find in The Joy of Cooking, and cooks/eats them. It has been awhile; we missed you. ...
How To Make New Friends As An Adult, And Why
When I was growing up, my best friends were simply the ones most available to me. That’s true for most of us, probably—even if we don’t realize it at the time. My next-door neighbor Miranda was my closest childhood confidant: She was the cooler, older girl who pretended to be witches with me when we...
Important Steph Curry Update: He's Still Extremely Good
Hey, you, person who was up way too late watching the World Series and totally missed out on the Golden State Warriors’ season opener against the New Orleans Pelicans. You missed some good shit, buddy. Click play on the video above and look at all the good shit you missed....
The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian
You’ve seen a painting of Norbert Grupe. A heavy, creased brow and shoulder-length hair framing a frightening scowl, the massive work hung in the fictional Manhattan Museum of Art in Ghostbusters II. When the medieval sorcerer pictured within the painting begins to physically manifest, it is on the ...
Winnipeg Jets Player Scoffs At Penalty, Pipes Down After Seeing Replay
Alex Burmistrov initially didn’t agree with his minor penalty for elbowing Wild defenseman Jared Spurgeon in the head during Sunday’s game. The Jets center called it “bullshit” as he sat in the penalty box. His opinion changed after he saw the replay, however:...
Russian Idiot On The Field Uses MacGyver Skills To Escape Security
The only thing more stereotypically Russian than the urge to sprint out onto the pitch in celebration of your team scoring is successfully fleeing back into the crowd before security apprehends you. Shouts out to the crowd for their teamwork. (Warning: video’s kinda loud.)...
A Rest Stop Stalker, And More Of Your Real-Life Horror And Ghost Stories
On Friday, we asked you to share your real-life ghost stories, and I semi-regret it. Some of your stories are legitimately freaky! Brace yourself for readers’ scariest real-life ghost stories. ...
Adrian Peterson's "Injury" Was Swallowing His Chewing Tobacco
Players get shuffled around NFL injury reports all the time. Whether or not someone will play is of major interest to fans and fantasy football players, so injury reports are scrutinized. Last night, Adrian Peterson got downgraded to questionable in the Vikings injury report due to a mysterious illn...
The Baseball Hall Of Fame Is A Grim, Cruel, Terrible Place
In 1999, I was teaching advanced dialectical history at a small northeastern liberal arts college whose name I will not mention here. The season of that year that stands out the most in my own memory is Autumn. The Autumn of 1999. I remember, that Autumn, getting home from the last class of the day,...
The 49ers Really Don't Trust Colin Kaepernick
What’s wrong with the San Francisco 49ers’ offense (besides everything)? It is, as we are learning, incredibly predictable. And that is apparently by design....