pe Page 790 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Gently Annotated List Of Washington Nationals Promos And Giveaways
Previously: The Baltimore Orioles....
Report: Chris Copeland Stabbed; Two Hawks Arrested At NYC Nightclub
According to the New York Daily News, Indiana Pacers forward Chris Copeland was stabbed in the abdomen outside of 1 OAK in New York City early this morning. Copeland’s wife, Katrine Saltara, and a second woman were also slashed during the incident. Pero Antic and Thabo Sefalosha of the Atlanta Hawks...
Our Very Own Drew Magary Is A Contestant On <i>Chopped </i>Tonight
Longtime readers may recall that your friend and mine Drew Magary applied to be an amateur contestant on Chopped, the Food Network’s allegedly very popular cooking show, back in July 2012. Well, he made it on, and the episode airs tonight at 10 p.m. EST. (He is one of the four people to the left.) I...
Wrigley Field To Be Stocked With Portable Toilets
After watching Wrigley Field turn into a piss-soaked hellscape on opening night, the Chicago Cubs are taking steps to replace the bathroom facilities that have been knocked out by the ongoing construction at the stadium. Here come the portable toilets to save the day! ...
Proof That Major League Baseball Has a Drug Testing Program
I was surprised to read that Minnesota Twins pitcher Ervin Santana was served an 80-game suspension for using the PED Stanozolol, because I didn't know Major League Baseball had a drug testing program. ...
The Anarchist Of Summer: A D.C. Rabble Rouser Returns To Baseball
Adam Eidinger has gone right at City Hall, the Republican and Democratic Parties, the war machine, the World Bank, the DEA, countless developers, and, most famously, Major League Baseball. His fights tend to end with him getting his ass kicked—and not just figuratively. ...
"An Absolute Shit Show": Tales From The Wrigley Field Bathroom Lines
Despite the Cubs’ increasingly emphatic insistence otherwise, Wrigley Field was not ready for opening day. Even beyond the expected absence of bleachers, the stadium’s infrastructure was apparently overwhelmed by the gameday crowd, with bathroom lines stretching through the concourse and back out i...
Fans At Wrigley Field Are Resorting To Peeing In Cups
We’ve been chronicling the hilarity of the Cubs’ attempts to renovate Wrigley Field this offseason, but things took a dark turn as the park opened for its first game Sunday night. An anonymous tipster sent us the above photo with the following explanation:...
Professional Soccer Team Somehow Fails To Score On 5 vs. 1
Down 0-1 in stoppage time yesterday in a Swiss Super League match against Young Boys, FC Vaduz sent nearly everybody forward in attack. When that attacked was repelled, it left Vaduz facing what you see in the thumbnail above: an unprecedented five on one for Young Boys. But with a wealth of profita...
The Pittsburgh Pirates Should Be America's Team This Season
There’s nothing America loves more than a winner who has suffered and, Lord knows, the Pittsburgh Pirates have suffered. Twenty losing seasons in a row. The Pittsburgh drug trials. The cobbled-together public ownership that ended up $22 million in debt. Talented player after talented player leaving...
Today, We Get To Appreciate The Funniest Trophy In Sports
Today, the United States Basketball Writers Association gave an award to the most outstanding player in men’s college basketball, as it has done every year since 1959. In 2005, the USBWA commissioned a trophy of Hall-of-Famer Oscar Robertson to represent the award, and so was born the Oscar Robertso...
Dustin Byfuglien Suspended Four Games For "Violent, Deliberate" Hit
Dustin Byfuglien will miss the Jets’ next four games for his cross-check to the neck of a prone J.T. Miller, the NHL’s Department of Player Safety announced today. ...
If You Could Change The Outcome Of One Play, Which Would It Be?
Yesterday, commenter “Norm Charlatan” wrote that if he had the power, he’d travel back in time and make it so Gordon Hayward’s half-court buzzer-beating heave in the 2010 championship game went in instead of rimming out. That’s a damned good hypothetical....
How To Get A Chill Cat
So you’ve decided to get a pet. Maybe you’re hankering for some furry companionship to perk up the lonesome evenings. Perhaps you’re attempting to plug an emotional gap in your life by saving some of god’s non-edible creatures. Or maybe you just want to strike back at those people clogging up your I...
Chris Paul Is Up To His Old Tricks: Tapping Nuts And Dominating Games
The Clippers and Trail Blazers were locked into a fierce battle in Portland tonight, as the two teams were tied (along with the Spurs) for fourth place and the all important (though apparently not for the Clippers) home court advantage in the first round of the Western Conference playoffs. ...
Heroic Chicagoan Escapes Tyrant Tow Truck
We are all born into and struggle against the confines of a system that denies our individuality and seeks to limit us. Some struggle more effectively than others....
Goddamn It, I Melted A Cutting Board In The Oven
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....