pe Page 792 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Adrian Peterson's Agent: "We Want Out Of Minnesota"
Adrian Peterson is under contract with the Vikings through 2017. He has absolutely no interest in playing out that contract, demanding either a raise or a trade, depending on the day and the audience. Yesterday was the most public trade demand yet, with agent Ben Dogra declaring that Peterson is fed...
Future Is The Hardest-Working Guy In Rap
Atlanta rapper Future hasn't slept much this year. He's put out three mixtapes since October, is currently working on another, and at this rate is Lil B-level prolific, but with more songs that actually make it in the pocket. You don't even have to like Future to appreciate the insanity of that lev...
![Serial Rapist Darren Sharper Might Serve Just 9 Years [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/v0fta2kr7ymmuzbsfzsa.png)
Serial Rapist Darren Sharper Might Serve Just 9 Years [Updated]
As expected, the plea deals are rolling in for accused serial rapist Darren Sharper, and so far the sentences seem fairly light. But we won't know how long Sharper will spend in prison until he officially pleads in all five jurisdictions, because he'll functionally serve only the longest of his fi...
The NFL Veteran Combine Is The Saddest
The NFL hosted its first-ever veteran combine this weekend, a chance for players who have fallen out of the league for one reason or another to claw their way back onto an NFL roster by proving that they've still got it. Michael Sam was there! So were Felix Jones, Michael Bush, and a lot of other ...
Commercial Shandies Are For Suckers. Drink This Beer Instead.
Beer is very useful. In just the past few days I have relied on beer to help me relate to my fellow man, to make college basketball interesting, and to wean me off my Tylenol PM addiction. Beer can also be used to liven up an otherwise limp pot of whatever-bean chili, to repair a dicey relationshi...
Adrian Peterson Rode A Camel Into His Birthday Party
Adrian Peterson celebrated his 30th birthday over the weekend with a big party in Texas. The celebration had elaborate costumes, an ice bar, a cake shaped like a palace, and a camel, which Peterson rode. The theme appeared to be "What A Very Dumb 30-Year-Old Thinks The Middle East Looks Like."...
Eric Gordon Faceplants, Loses His Tooth
This is Pelicans shooting guard Eric Gordon stumbling, faceplanting, and then realizing that the thing he heard skittering out onto the floor is in fact a big ol' chunk of his tooth....
Wild Last-Second Comeback Wins 174-Lb. DI Wrestling Title For Penn State
You don't need to know much about wrestling to get what happened here. We start with six seconds left in a match for the 174-lb. Division I national championship, with Penn State's Matt Brown down by a point to Pitt's Tyler Wilps and rules about how you're not allowed to delay the match or lock hand...
Two Premier League Goalkeepers Had To Be Stretchered Off The Pitch
It's a dangerous day to be a goalkeeper in the English Premier League. ...
Mexican Wrestling Star Perro Aguayo Jr. Dies After In-Ring Accident
Mexican wrestling star Perro Aguayo Jr. has died at 35 years old after an in-ring accident in a match last night in Tijuana. According to f4wonline.com, he hit the ring ropes after taking a dropkick from Rey Mysterio Jr., as seen in video of the full match, and was injured either then or when his ...
Darren Sharper Plans To Strike Plea Deal In All His Rape Cases Monday
Alleged serial rapist Darren Shaper is working on a global plea deal that would resolve the myriad of sexual assault cases against him, according to multiple reports today. The Associated Press reported that the deal will be filed Monday in two courts, one in California and the other in an unknown l...
Announcer Calls Black UNI Player "Best Athlete ... Flashiest Player"
Northern Iowa is playing Wyoming right now in the NCAA Tournament, and as you would guess, there are a whole lot of smart, gritty gym rats on the court. Two and a half minutes into the game, though, Northern Iowa subbed in Wes Washpun, a black player. Spero Dedes, calling the game alongside Mike Gmi...
<i>Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry </i>Is Acidic B-Movie Nihilism Done Right
The car-chase movies of the '70s really only had one plot: Someone drives a muscle car really fast, hoping to avoid police cars, some of which end up driving into streams or ponds. But each movie found a vastly different way to tell that one story. Vanishing Point, the genre's real masterpiece, to...
Tim Howard Kinda Just Chills With His Hands Down, Watches Goal Go In
I know. I know. It was a great goal from Dynamo Kiev's Andriy Yarmolenko. Someone should've, could've stepped to the ball, at some point. Tim Howard probably couldn't have gotten to it anyway. I know. That's all out of the way....
Red Stripe: Rightfully Beloved In Kingston And Cambridge Alike
If you live in the Northeastern United States, you need to move, because tomorrow's the first day of spring, and it's going to snow. Believe me, I'm just as tired of whining about the weather as you are of listening to me whine about the weather, but it's been so relentlessly abominable that I can...
Sean Penn Is Way Too Weird To Be Your Next Great Action Hero
If nothing else, The Gunman gives us a scene in which Sean Penn goes surfing. Of all the mysteries of centuries of American film, one that has always vexed me in particular is, "How did the doof who played Spicoli turn into that guy?" If you haven't watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High recently—an...
Teamwork Is Helping To Hide Your Buddy's Dong While He Pees On The Bench
If you ever wanted to know how close the Sevilla players are with each other, this is your answer....
My Beloved Stuffed Animal Needs A Bath, And I'm A Nervous Wreck
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
WGN Has Woman Make Sparks With Her Crotch In Front Of Awestruck Kids
This wonderful moment in local news history was broadcast recently on Chicago's WGN. Please note the children in the background....