pe Page 797 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Giant Shrieking Raven Occupies Levi's Stadium, All Is Lost
The entire Western seaboard is being evacuated today, after an NHL webcam captured what appears to be an enormous bird the size of a football field interrupting the rink construction for Saturday's Kings-Sharks game. It is too late for humanity; surely the black death shall devour us all. Should the...
A Lawsuit Threatens The Future Of The Court Of Arbitration For Sport
German Claudia Pechstein is the most successful speed skater ever. She won a medal in five consecutive Olympics from 1992 to 2006—nine medals overall, five of them gold—and might've made it six straight had she not been banned by the International Skating Union (ISU) for two years in 2009, for blood...
Random Twitter Dude Criticizes Colin Kaepernick, Gets The Business
Colin Kaepernick, who occasionally bookmarks mean tweets about him, went full blast on some random guy on Twitter today. The 49ers quarterback bragged about his productive day, and the man who didn't carefully read the tweet tried to burn him....
What To Get Dr. Dre For His Birthday
Dr. Dre is 50 today. Fifty! He is truly getting up there. But what to get the rapper-slash-Apple VP-slash-mogul who has everything? How best to prove that you didn’t, ahem, forget about Dre? I have some ideas. ...
Your Computer Is Filthy. Why Won't You Clean It?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Penn State Fans Are Passing The Hat To Pay The Basketball Coach's Fine
The Big Ten Conference announced today that they fined Penn State men's basketball coach Pat Chambers $10,000 for remarks he made after the team's loss to Maryland Saturday. Now, some Penn State students are trying to crowdfund the fine for him. Please don't do that....
Mixtape Drake Is My Favorite Drake
There are so many different versions of Drake now: the Drake Who Loves Nicki, the Drake Who Still Holds A Candle For Rihanna, and the ever-present Drake Who Loves His Mom. Plus there's Internet-Savvy And Emoji-Tatted Drake, Sports-Fan Drake, Houston Drake, Toronto Drake, Album Drake, and Mixtape Dra...
The Yankees Will Sell Their Past Until There's Nothing Left Of It
The Yankees announced yesterday that they will retire the numbers of Andy Pettitte, Jorge Posada, and Bernie Williams, and that all three—along with Willie Randolph—will receive plaques in Monument Park in four different ceremonies spread across the season. No American sports team has made such an...
Doug Baldwin Reveals Football-Pooping Celebration Was For Darrelle Revis
Doug Baldwin commemorated his Super Bowl lead-extending touchdown catch by pretending either to poop out the football, or on it. (It's not clear which, but no one saw it anyway; NBC's director cut away in time, warned by the voice of his vigilant dead mother. Thankfully, it was filmed from the stand...
Penn State Students Chant "No Means No" At Maryland's Dez Wells
Yesterday, Maryland traveled to Happy Valley to play and ultimately defeat Penn State. It was a hard-fought game that went down to the wire, but perhaps the most interesting moment came midway through the first half, when Terps senior star Dez Wells went to the foul line....
<i>Bring It On</i> Comes To Life In Minnesota High School Dance Scandal
Officials disqualified five Minnesota high school dance teams after their symbolic protest at the state finals over a rival team's alleged plagiarized championship routine in what was basically the exact plot from the classic and very great high school cheerleading movie, Bring It On....
How To Cook Valentine's Day Dinner, Like You Damn Well Should
The first thing to know about cooking for Valentine's Day is that the list of occasion-appropriate food preparations you'll find below was made in consultation with a woman, the only blemish on whose otherwise immaculate record of good taste and judgment is her baffling and indefensible decision to ...
Court Docs Allege Tony Bosch Spent MLB's Money On Strippers And Clubs
Two years after it was first broken, the Biogenesis saga in South Florida continues to reveal hilarious details about how Major League Baseball conducts business. The Miami New Times reports on the criminal case against Lazer Collazo, an associate of Biogenesis founder Tony Bosch, who is charged wit...
![Eagles Unsure How Riley Cooper Got Black History Month On Team Calendar [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/vt50juacceapchliihuy.jpg)
Eagles Unsure How Riley Cooper Got Black History Month On Team Calendar [Update]
Riley Cooper, you might remember, did this. It was a whole big thing, and not even that long ago! Whatever company the Eagles contracted to make their official 2015 team calendar either didn't remember, or thought it was more prudent to try to get Cooper's appearance over with in the shortest month....
Is This Really The World's Best Beer?
The Beer Internet likes to be angry. The same could be true of many other special-interest groups, but I suspect the problem is particularly acute in the online beer world, because of our high concentration of relatively affluent white dudes who aren't comfortable having their opinions challenged. O...
How To Clean A Soot-Stained Fireplace
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Bad Golfer Tiger Woods Taking A Break From Golf
Tiger Woods, last seen doing a very realistic impression of a terrible chipper, will take a break from tournament golf, he announced on his website. Woods withdrew from last week's Farmers Insurance Open with a back injury, but says it is unrelated to the surgery he had last March to relieve a pinch...