pe Page 811 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Melvin Gordon's Rushing Record Is Now Samaje Perine's Rushing Record
Poor Melvin Gordon ran through a stout defense last week for 408 yards, an all-time FBS record. The single-game FBS rushing champ got to wear that crown for a week....
"Hey, Coach? Say It, Don't Spray It."
Good ol' cursin' Bo Pelini left a wad of saliva on this guy's face. He didn't seem too happy about it....
How To Make Potatoes Au Gratin, A Step Beyond Good Ol' Mashed Taters
Hey, look, mashed potatoes are wonderful. They're smooth and hearty and comforting; they land in your stomach with a satisfying, almost audible whump; they are the food equivalent of dropping your entire body onto a soft, overstuffed sofa. Kids love them, grownups love them, everybody loves them. ...
Duke Assistant Attempts To Pump Up Team By Losing His Damn Mind
Before Duke took on rival UNC last night, cameras caught undergraduate assistant Chris Hoover getting the Blue Devils pumped up for the big game. That is one amped-ass assistant!...
There Are A Lot Of Things Wrong With This Bill Cosby Graphic
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Adrian Peterson Gives 90-Minute Interview, Doesn't Say Much
Adrian Peterson has finally broken a two month silence. After he was placed on the exempt/commissioner's permission list on September 17th, he's basically only communicated through bizzaro twitter postings and closed-door hearings. Tonight he spoke with USA Today's Pelissero tonight for a "more than...
Six HS Football Players Suspected Of Raping Girl In Woods Near School
Six Winter Springs High (Winter Springs, Fla.) football players have been arrested and charged with sexual battery and false imprisonment after allegedly raping a 16-year-old student in the woods near the school. ...
What Did RG3 Say That Peyton Manning Hasn't?
In terms of RG3 takes, it appears we're not quite out of the woods. The quarterback's comments after Washington's pratfall against Tampa Bay—in which he more or less said football is a team effort—gave everyone the opportunity to take a swing at the already-half-broken piñata. Here's one more bad ta...
Let Jaden Smith Live, Though Maybe Don't Let Him Rap
So on account of this bonkers T Magazine joint interview with his equally loopy sister, my colleagues have spent the better part of the week uncouthly debating the merits of one Jaden Smith, son of Will and Jada, brother of Willow, shaky actor, convulsing rapper, amateur philosopher ("There's a th...
Lindsey Vonn Is Just As Dumb And Humorless As Her Boyfriend Tiger Woods
Yesterday at The Players' Tribune, "Tiger Woods" "wrote" the dumbest fucking thing in response to a satirical, obviously fake piece that ran in a recent issue of Golf Digest. All Woods's blockheaded complaint did was alert the world to how much of a dense, robotic dolt he is, and now his girlfriend,...
Iman Shumpert Throws Down Nasty Reverse Dunk In The Greek Freak's Face
The Knicks lost 117-113 to the Bucks last night, and at one point trailed Milwaukee by 26 points. They made a little run in the fourth quarter, though, and when Iman Shumpert rinsed Giannis Antetokounmpo with this reverse jam, cutting the lead to four, it felt like the Knicks were about to win the d...
Lemon Asks Alleged Cosby Rape Victim Why She Didn't Bite Off His Dick
Don Lemon gets a lot of deserved criticism around these parts for being a clueless dunce, but his interview tonight on CNN with alleged Bill Cosby rape victim Joan Tarshis took the clownshow to a new level when he asked her why she didn't bite the disgraced comedian's dick off....
How The NFL Exploited A Child Abuser To Restore Its Brand
1. When talking or writing about the NFL's handling of the Adrian Peterson case, it's difficult to separate discussion of the vicious cruelty of Peterson's actions from the fairness of the NFL's adjudicatory process. You can wholeheartedly believe Peterson belongs in jail, or in hell, and believe at...
Warning: Doug McDermott Will Just Get All Up In Your Picture
Former Creighton star Doug McDermott hasn't exactly taken the NBA by storm in his first weeks as a pro, but that doesn't mean that he's short on confidence. For example, McDermott has no problem rolling right into a famous-person photo that he definitely wasn't invited to....
The Things He Found In People: Don Shula And The Secrets Of Talent
Originally published in the September 1983 edition of Esquire. Reprinted here with the author's permission....
Hollywood's Lovable Loser
Dig this gem from Brad Darrach, People magazine, 1974:...
NFL Suspends Adrian Peterson For The Rest Of The Season
Amid a weeks-long battle over Adrian Peterson's potential reinstatement, the NFL has decided to push the issue to its end game. The league announced today that Peterson will be suspended indefinitely and without pay—a punishment the NFLPA has already said it will appeal on his behalf....
Times Of Day To Have Some Damn Peace And Quiet Around Here, Ranked
When you are a Sad Dad, one of the things you spend the most time pining for—after, like, an actual grown-up date with your spouse, a window of more than five minutes in which to take a shower, and relief from the constant background awareness of your own bottomless inadequacy—is some damn peace and...