pe Page 814 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Perry Jones Gets Injured, Further Proves Thunder Are Cursed
Injuries are normal in basketball, and every year there's at least one team that draws the short end of the stick and gets hit with a wave. But what the Thunder are going through right now is something else, their playoff chances in the ultra competitive West diminishing every single day. Already fa...
Wind Blows Florida Rapper Right Into The Sea During Photo Shoot
A Florida rapper who goes by the name of Presto Flo decided that the edge of a seawall would be a good place to have a photo shoot, because everyone looks awesome and cool while standing in front of the ocean. Unfortunately for Presto Flo, he decided to do his shoot on a particularly windy day, an...
Report: Adrian Peterson Going For Plea Deal In Bid To Avoid Jail
Vikings running back Adrian Peterson will plead no contest today to try and avoid his trial on child injury charges, according to a report from Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk. (Florio cites "a source with knowledge of the situation"—presumably someone on Peterson's defense team.) The plea will kee...
Anthony Davis Comes Out Of Nowhere For The Putback Dunk
Welcome to the latest edition of Anthony Davis Does Something You've Never Seen Before. Today we have him launching himself from just in front of the dotted line, extending his Groot arm to collect a shot that clanged high off the rim, and then throwing down the putback dunk over poor Zach Randolph—...
Anthony Davis Is A Goddamn Demon
Anthony Davis is going to own the league sooner rather than later, because Anthony Davis is a shot-devouring, rebound-snatching, dunking monster who is now armed with a solid mid-range jumper and respectable handles. Dunks and smooth jumpers and blocks are great, but if you really want to see what m...
This Set Play From The Clippers Is Beautiful And Unfair
The Clippers lost to the Kings 98-92 yesterday, but they came out ahead on style points after running one of the prettiest plays of the young season late in the fourth quarter....
Eagles Lineman Jason Peters Didn't Know Nick Foles Got Hurt
Eagles quarterback Nick Foles exited today's game in the first quarter with a collarbone injury after a tackle by Whitney Mercilus; former Jets hostage Mark Sanchez replaced him. Jason Peters, however, didn't immediately know about the switch, so he was in for a shock when he realized Foles didn't t...
All Hail Daren Bates, Who Committed A Truly Magnificent Offside Penalty
Never shame a man who tries his hardest, as the Rams' Daren Bates did today in attempting to block a 49ers field goal—and pulled the trigger just a bit too early....
How To Roast Mushrooms: A Guide For Reformed Fraidycats
An opinion common to the children of America is that mushrooms are bad. They express this viewpoint with crinkled little noses and furrowed brows, picking mushrooms out of their food with chubby little fingers. "I don't wike these," they say. "They'we gwoss."...
Maryland, Penn State Fight Before Game, And A Handshake Refusal
Maryland captains refused to shake the hands of their Penn State counterparts before today's game in State College that featured a bit of a fight between the two Big Ten squads....
Mischievous Lil' Pandas Refuse To Take Their Medicine
This is what happened when a zoo keeper in China—who has some pretty dope boots, by the way—tried to feed some medicine to two of the young pandas being held in the zoo. Dude's plan was to squirt the medicine into their mouths with a syringe; the pandas' plan was to fight this jabroni and get him th...
Nick Young Dressed Up As The Best <em>Chappelle's Show</em> Sketch
Let's take this opportunity to clarify something: The best Chappelle's Show sketch was Charlie Murphy's stories about Rick James. There's no need to be contrarian about this....
Chart: All Of Peyton Manning's Pick-Sixes, By Defender And Distance
Hey, remember that cool chart from last week, visualizing all of Peyton Manning's regular season touchdowns? Well, it missed a few. In belated honor of Peyton's record-setting career throwing touchdowns, here are all the touchdowns he's thrown to the other team. ...
Cops: Players Shouted "Football Strong!" After Dislocating Man's Brain
Police say the five California University players arrested yesterday on charges they brutally stomped a man outside a Pennsylvania restaurant left the man with brain injuries so severe that "the lower part of his brain has shifted 80 degrees."...
Steve Ballmer Comes On Strong With The Embarrassing Dadness
Clippers owner Steve Ballmer was doing his Steve Ballmer thing throughout his team's home opener, but the highlight of his hootin' and hollerin' came right after the final whistle, when Ballmer wielded his daddish intensity (dadtensity) to embarrass and frighten his son, as all good dads know how to...
Rappers And Cats: A Complete History
Meow the Jewels is a real thing. What started as a joke—with Run the Jewels, the acerbically bombastic rap duo of EL-P and Killer Mike, offering to re-record their fantastic new sophomore album, Run the Jewels 2, with "nothing but cat sounds for music" if someone gave them $40,000—has bloomed into...
The SEC Really Does Benefit From Media Bias In Polls
This past week, four of the top five teams in the Associated Press College Football Poll hailed from the SEC West Division. Nebraska coach Bo Pelini, among others, wondered aloud whether ESPN's ownership of the brand-new SEC network, which launched this year, might be responsible for such a coinci...
That Isn't Mario Balotelli, You Dimwitted Politician
Does that look like Mario Balotelli to you?...
The Giants' Defense Deserves Some Love, Too
Madison Bumgarner rolled into Game 7 of the World Series like Gozer The Destructor and gave us one of the greatest postseason performances in history, and so you wouldn't be blamed for overlooking the contributions of the rest of the Giants on the field. With that in mind, let's take a moment to t...