pe Page 850 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Evgeni Malkin Beats Tampa Bay Lightning
Evgeni Malkin scored or assisted on every goal for the Penguins today in a 4-3 win over the Tampa Bay Lightning. Malkin tied the game and gave Pittsburgh a one-goal lead with two goals in five minutes late in the third period. Nevertheless, the Lightning forced overtime with just over a minute left ...

How To Make Sausage Gravy, And Shave A Few Years Off Your Lifespan
Sausage gravy is deeply, deeply disreputable food. In its typical presentation, slopped across biscuits in some charmingly run-down roadside diner with Patsy Cline playing on the jukebox, it is, in essence, flour on flour, dressed up as actual sustenance by the inclusion of token quantities of butte...

Sorcery And Witchcraft: How To Fold A Fitted Sheet
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check The Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her. ...

Greatest Inbounder, Dumbest Guy, And Other Unsung Heroes Of Showtime
My interview with Jeff Pearlman, author of Showtime: Magic, Kareem, Riley, and the Los Angeles Lakers Dynasty of the 1980s, which was recently excerpted on Deadspin. We spoke about Pearlman's complicated portrait of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the "historically dumb" Mark Landsberger, why Kurt Rambis was t...

The Red Wings Won On A Buzzer-Beater
Last-second winners aren't just for basketball. Daniel Alfredsson was credited with the goal with 0.4 seconds left in overtime against Pittsburgh, and Detroit nabbed a crucial two points in a pants-poopingly tight playoff race....

Manchester United Get A Big Win, Remain Soccer's Funniest Joke
Coaches and players often say, when asked whether something or other has added fire to an upcoming game, that if just being in the Big Time Sporting Event doesn't motivate you, you're beyond hope anyway. If that's true, then Manchester United's passion-filled 3-0 comeback against Olympiakos probably...

Cash Rules? Breaking Down The Budget Mismatches In The NCAA Tournament
Inequality of college athletic spending is something we all know exists. But strangely, it's not a common topic of conversation in the lead-up to today's hysteria of March Madness and its bracketful of would-be giant-killers. So let's take a look at who's bringing a knife to an Aston Martin fight. ...

Aroldis Chapman "Doing Better" After Taking 110 MPH Liner To Face
Salvador Perez was crying as he left the field, hugged by Eric Hosmer. It was a line drive off the bat of the 23-year-old Royals catcher that struck Reds pitcher Aroldis Chapman flush, basically breaking his face....

Sensational, Inspirational, Celebrational: <em>Muppets Most Wanted</em>, Reviewed
When Roger Ebert gave The Naked Gun a rave review back in 1988, this is how he praised it: "You laugh, and then you laugh at yourself for laughing. Some of the jokes are incredibly stupid. Most of them are dumber than dumb." Muppets Most Wanted is that way, too. This sequel to the very enjoyable ...

Inside The Bum Phillips Opera. (Yes, There Is A Bum Phillips Opera.)
"Places, Old Lady!" the stage manager shouts. "Places, Hippie Pig!"...

Map: How Hollywood Has Destroyed America
How many times have you seen New York City destroyed onscreen? Los Angeles? Kansas? For nearly as long as there have been movies, there have been disaster movies. The map above shows 189+ such cinematic attacks—using a very broad definition of the "disaster" genre—that have afflicted various parts o...

Guy Drops A "Deez Nuts" During Interview On <em>People's Court</em>
Meet the man who just lived the lifelong dream of anyone who ever attended a public middle school. We've all fantasized about pulling off a classic "Deez Nuts" joke on TV, but this guy actually went out and did it....

25 Year After Bruce Pearl Narced On Him, Jimmy Collins Has Moved On
In case you were wondering: No, Jimmy Collins is not surprised by this....

Bruce Pearl's First Con: The Scandal That Defined Auburn's New Coach
Auburn has hired ESPN analyst Bruce Pearl, the man who spent his coaching career either narcing on behalf of the NCAA's rules or making a paper hat out of them, to be its future former basketball coach. In 2011, shortly after Pearl had bombed out of Tennessee with a three-year show-cause penalty to ...

The NFL Now Wants $15.1 Million From M.I.A., Because The NFL Is Crazy
It was pretty goddamn ridiculous—for reasons explained here and here—when the NFL decided that it was going to sue M.I.A. for flipping the bird during her Super Bowl halftime performance, but according to new documents obtained by The Hollywood Reporter, the league's suit against M.I.A. has now gon...

Watch This Amazing Projection System Transform The Cavaliers' Court
The Cleveland Cavaliers have been disappointing and boring this year, so it's safe to say that this video is the team's greatest contribution to the NBA season....

Anthony Davis Is Everywhere
While working his way through a 40-point, 21-rebound beatdown of the Celtics last night, Anthony Davis made a number of plays that would make anyone in the arena think they were watching the best big man in the NBA. ...

