pe Page 865 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Players Are Fainting, Puking, And Hallucinating At The Australian Open
It is fucking hot in Melbourne. Temperatures soared to 108 degrees today, weather unfit for human existence, let alone playing world-class tennis. A short compilation of bad things to happen to tennis players so far at the first Grand Slam event of the year:...

Scott Boras Says MLB's War On PEDs Is All Backwards
Baseball came down hard on Alex Rodriguez, seeking—and achieving--stacked suspensions for each violation of the joint drug agreement. But what if MLB is going about things all wrong? Scott Boras believes that to truly quash its drug problem, baseball needs to go after the dealers, not the users....

Budweiser Sends Really Dumb Tweet In Branding Exercise Gone Wrong
Budweiser, looking to capitalize on the invaluable #branding opportunity presented to them yesterday by Peyton Manning, sent out the brain dead tweet above earlier this morning. It's been deleted, but we want it to live forever via this screen shot. This is why we need to kill all of the brands....

What Does Peyton Manning's "Omaha" Mean?
“Omaha” was trending on Twitter during the Broncos’ win over San Diego. Omaha, Neb.’s tourism board took notice. It was hard not to, with Peyton Manning barking the snap count directly into CBS’s parabolic microphone, and hence your living room....

Voting For A Hall Of Fame Isn't That Hard
In between swilling citrusy beers and fetching Gatorade for Steve Young, the ever-lofty Peter King took a moment this week to write about his super duper favorite sport... BASEBALL! What, you thought his favorite sport was football? PLEASE. Behind baseball and eight grade girl's softball and keep...

Dallas Mavericks Get Away With Yet Another Game-Ending No-Call
The Dallas Mavericks must have made some kind of deal with the devil, because for the second time in as many weeks, they won a close game after getting away with an egregious foul that wasn't called....

Peyton Manning Just Wants A Bud Light
After advancing to the AFC Championship, Peyton Manning was confronted with questions about a report that an offseason medical exam will determine his NFL future. He's not worried about his neck. He's just worried about when he'll be able to get his hands on a cool, crisp, refreshing Anheuser-Busch ...

<em>60 Minutes</em> Presents The Case Against MLB
Not 36 hours after an arbitrator largely sided with MLB and pegged Alex Rodriguez's suspension at all of 2014, Bud Selig took a bizarre, televised victory lap. A double-length 60 Minutes segment that publicly (and for the very first time) laid out the evidence against A-Rod, featuring sit-down inter...

Your Obligatory Playoff Manningface
We have our first Manningface of 2014!...

The National Anthem Should Be Played With Instruments More Often
Trumpeter Jesse McGuire performed an outstanding rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner" before today's 49ers-Panthers game, and really, musicians should be used for the national anthem more often....

Tanner Glass Postgame Features Buck Naked Pens Player In Background
While Tanner Glass talks about a 2-1 win over the Flames, Kris Letang opens a door behind him and yep, that's a totally naked dude....

Colin Kaepernick At Hooters
A reader sends along this picture with only a subject that reads "Kaep at Hooters in Charlotte." Missing are the trademark chicken wings or human breasts, so it's hard to tell—though you do get an overall feeling of desperation—but it probably is a Hooters. It looks like he's signing an autograph fo...

Welcome Back, Percy Harvin
Percy Harvin is playing for the first time since November 17, 2013. This, a 15-yard penalty for targeting a defenseless receiver, is the first play he's been involved in. Yeah, that's his mouth guard flying out....

How To Make A Cheesesteak, And Probably Get Crap From Pennsylvanians
Hey, let's make a goddamn cheesesteak. If we do it quickly, we can get finished before the city of Philadelphia declares war....

Do Colder NFL Games Have Fewer Penalties?
While watching some insanely frigid football last weekend, one Deadspinner wondered if there were fewer flags in cold NFL games, the result of referees deciding, consciously or not, to speed games up and get the hell off the field. Without scrutinizing hundreds of hours of game tape we can't really ...

Weekend Stacked
The Stacks now has a weekend home over at The Daily Beast. ...

The Secret Of The Seahawks' Defense? Fouling, Maybe
The Wall Street Journal has a fascinating look at the dominant Seahawks secondary, which seems to have been able to turn just about everyone into a star. Part of that is the remarkable amount of pressure they bring, but another part—perhaps—is as brilliant as it is simple. Maul receivers, because th...

Help! My Sweaty Ass Is Stinking Up My Car
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....
