pe Page 962 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your <em>Expendables 2</em> Power Rankings
The Expendables 2 has 11 names on its poster only because there is not room, either in poster space or running time, for 47. It is New Years Eve with testicles. It is the turducken of action movies. Rather than review the film, I thought I'd just rank those 11 names, in ascending order of Expendable...
Bryce Harper's Advice To Children: "Losing's Not Fun" And "Be As Sexy As You Can"
Bryce Harper is giving back. He hosted a baseball clinic yesterday, and it turned out to be a pretty big story in the D.C. area. Yeah, yeah, the camp was free for more than 200 children. Right, right, Harper was swell enough to swing by on his day off. OK, OK, Harper presented a giant check to a loc...
TV Report On Texas High School Football Team Wins State Title For Repeating The Same Cliché
As Texas's defending Class 1A, Division I champions, the Mason Punchers are the pride of their central Texas town, population 2,000. But I dunno. I just can't think of the right way to sum up the theme of the Punchers' upcoming season. Maybe someone—the head coach, a couple of players, a reporter—...
Here Are A Bunch Of MLB Players Doing Funny Impressions Of <em>The Expendables</em> Cast
Allow me to self-plagiarize for a moment. A few members of the Deadspin staff, myself included, once went to the MLB Fan Cave. It was in many ways a soul-crushing place, where the Pepsi Max (but no other variety of Pepsi) was bottomless, and where Jeff Nelson was just hanging out, likely against his...
This Is Less Than Encouraging: Adrian Peterson Has Been Told Not To Make Cuts
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Fuck it, AP's cutting anyway....
"Struck By Blow Dart": A Brief Index Of Recent Terrible Events Involving Joggers
An occasional miscellany (with a head nod toward this great old post on Runner's World's website)....
The Mariners' Double-A Team, Including Felix Hernandez's Brother, Went Nutso When Felix Finished His Perfect Game
Batting practice for the Jackson (Tenn.) Generals ground to a halt yesterday afternoon, as Felix Hernandez closed in on his first career perfecto. The end of the game was played on the scoreboard, and the Mariners' AA affiliate gathered in left field to watch the final few pitches. When Sean Rodri...
Posnanski: "No, I Don't Feel About Joe Paterno The Same Way I Did When I Started Writing The Book"
But what exactly has changed with Joe Posnanski's thinking? Doesn't say. We're five days away from the release of the former Sports Illustrated star's Joe Paterno biography, and Posnanski took the opportunity to justify the book in a USA Today column today:...
Did Performance-Enhancing Drugs Actually Help Melky Cabrera?
Since MLB announced Melky Cabrera's 50-game suspension for testosterone earlier this afternoon, a few folks have been crowing about what a fraud Cabrera is. Evidently Cabrera's sin is worse than the usual steroid stuff because he improved dramatically over the last two years and planned to parlay th...
Here's What The Scorecard From Felix Hernandez's Perfect Game Looks Like
Dave Sims, who called a fantastic game today for Root Sports, fully embracing the fact that Felix Hernandez was on his way to history and eschewing any ridiculous notions of superstition during the telecast, just posted a photo of his scorecard, and it's astonishing to see. The three boxes (and no m...
Mike Pereira, Who Hates The NFL's Replacement Refs, Used To Be A Backup Replacement Ref
Mike Pereira has been so outspoken in his role as the NFL's hall monitor for Fox Sports that even Bill Belichick is outsourcing his opinion of replacement officials to him. And if the early returns are any indication, the scabs are indeed going to be a disaster. But remember: Pereira used to work fo...
ESPN Soccer Analyst Flubs An Answer, Says, "Aw, Shit, Sorry Guys," Gets Reminded He's Speaking Live
In the video above, we find ESPN soccer analyst Janusz Michallik answering a question that hadn't been asked and cussing as he stubs his toe on the metaphorical fourth wall. (The subject at hand is Manchester United's acquisition of Robin van Persie, from Arsenal.) Reminded that he's live, on ESPN...
Felix Hernandez Just Threw A Perfect Game Against The Rays
On Monday, our man Tom Ley wrote about Felix Hernandez, the big-game pitcher who's been deprived of big games because he plays in Seattle. "No one calls him clutch," he wrote, "because his teams have been too wretched to give him even a chance at being clutch. But clutch isn't always about rising ...
Massive 12-Year-Old Too Big For Pee Wee Football, Too Bad At Football For Middle School Football
KDFW reports on the story of Elijah Earnheart, who at the tender age of 12 is already six feet tall and weighs nearly 300 pounds. Elijah wants to play football, but because of his size, he's been banned from his Mequite (Texas) Pee Wee team. Once you get the giggles out over the Fox screengrab of po...
Melky Cabrera Tests Positive For Testosterone, Is Suspended 50 Games, Can Still Win The Batting Title
The Giants' Melky Cabrera wowed us this year. That doughy loser who couldn't cut it in New York or Atlanta managed to hit .346/.390/.516 in 113 games, and for good measure, he won the All-Star Game for the National League. But that will be all for him in 2012, because Cabrera, MLB says, was pumped f...
Joe Gibbs: "I Was Queer For Tight Ends"
Joe Gibbs was just on ESPN Radio and ESPN News with Ryen Russillo and Bram Weinstein, and he had an ... interesting way of expressing his feelings toward tight ends (and toward Charles Oakley, who had just finished his appearance on the show)....
Rafael Nadal Pulls Out Of U.S. Open With An Injury, So Let's Cue The "Style Of Play" Talk
Rafael Nadal announced this morning that he's pulling out of the U.S. Open, which begins in less than two weeks. What for? An "injury." No one knows what. When Nadal pulled out of the Olympics—he hasn't played a match since he was bounced in the second round of Wimbledon—it was a little unclear what...
For The Second Time In Three Weeks, ESPN Plagiarizes A Reporter's Work
In late July, ESPN got a well-deserved tsk-tsking from the Internet after a SportsCenter anchor delivered "breaking news" about Dwight Howard that was lifted, nearly verbatim, from a RealGM.com report. "This stuff happens from time to time," Vince Doria, ESPN's senior vice president and director o...
Hey, Look, The Boston Red Sox Are Smearing Their Manager Again
The Red Sox stink. This we know. They are 57-59, fourth place, the whole thing. Why they stink is not quite as clear. Cody Ross and David Ortiz are the only position players who have hit especially well, and no one (save, uh, Scott Achison) has pitched well. Does anybody know where Dustin Pedroia an...
Baseball Game Delayed While Repo Men Attempt To Collect Bats, Gloves, For Team's Unpaid Cleaning Bills
The Worcester Tornadoes, of the independent Can-Am league, couldn't throw the first pitch of last night's game at 7 p.m., as scheduled. They were too busy dealing with police constables sent to enforce a court order to confiscate the team's equipment. Enterprise Cleaning Co. has cleaned clubhouses, ...