people Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
As in past years, the Sun Sentinel has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity. ...
Gather 'Round, Grove, Draper and Ronjohn: The Lacrosse All-Name Team Is Here
What makes a great lacrosse name? There must be a whiff of old money and non-rhotic lockjaw, but it's more than that. In the spirit of Potter Stewart's test for obscenity ("I know it when I see it") and Katie Baker's beloved lacrosse family the Stanwicks (Sheehan, Wick, Coco, Tad, Steele, Wells and ...
North Korean Heir Is Basically That Guy You Knew In 1996 Who Always Wore A Toni Kukoc Jersey
Kim Jong Il is dead. In 2009, we met his youngest son and presumptive heir, Kim Jong Un—a basketball fan, it turns out. Originally published July 16, 2009....
Offshore Yacht Racing Can Get Really Goddamn Expensive
The Puma Mar Mostro had her mast snapped on the first leg of the Volvo Ocean Race (which, if you're unfamiliar with yacht racing, makes the America's Cup look like a Boy Scout portage), and the crew wound up on a barely inhabited southern island roughly equidistant from South Africa and South Americ...
Raise Your Teacups And Your Pinkies: Harvard Basketball Has Entered The AP Top 25
Here's the AP: "Harvard is in The Associated Press' Top 25 for the first time. ... Harvard is the first Ivy League school to be ranked since Princeton cracked the top 10 late in the 1997-98 season." Harvard plays at University of Connecticut (not the school in New Haven, btw) on Thursday. Good luck,...
"I Expected Nothing Less From A Bunch Of Blithering Idiots": The Angry Emails That Helped Cost Boca Raton Its All-Star Pro Soccer Team
Last month, we shared with you the bare details of Dan Borislow's brief, messy reign as owner of magicJack, the franchise that Women's Professional Soccer elected to terminate in late October after just a single season of play in Boca Raton, Fla....
Rhode Island NBC I-Team Investigates Dangerous New Game Called "Beer Pong"
What a week for Old People Discoveries: On Monday, the New York Times alerted the world to a curious new trend called "planking," and yesterday, NBC's Providence affiliate launched a special investigative report into the "potential dangers" of a "new game" called beer pong....
A Day At Harvard-Yale And Its Tragic Tailgate
NEW HAVEN, Conn.—I could tell you about dropping by the Yale crew alumni tailgate on Saturday, and taking a shot of Jim Beam with a slice of prosciutto, but that's not the reason the Game's 2011 tailgate will forever be the Tailgate. We'll now call it the Tailgate because three women there got run o...
Sepp Blatter "Deeply Regrets" Suggesting That Racism In Soccer Can Be Settled By Handshakes
Last week, for the 739th time, there were calls for Sepp Blatter's resignation following a fresh round of insensitive remarks from the FIFA president. In two separate television interviews, Blatter denied that there was any racism in soccer and then suggested that players settle their differences ...
That Mean Columbia Marching Band Has Been Un-Banned From Performing At The 0-9 Football Team's Last Game
You did it, Deadspin readers! Or at least our friends at the Columbia Spectator say you did it:...
Columbia Bans Marching Band From 0-9 Football Team's Finale Because The Band Made Fun Of The Team
Aw, horseshit. The Ivy League fun police have lost their damn minds. Columbia's banned its marching band from playing at the football team's final game this weekend, because, after the last game, the band made fun of the team with new lyrics to the school's fight song. Please....
Joe Paterno's New D.C.-Based Lawyer Is Named "Wick"
OK, now the Penn State scandal is ready to be made into a John Grisham novel. Joe Paterno has officially hired a lawyer, and it's not just any lawyer, but a guy named J. Sedwick ("Wick") Sollers from the firm King and Spalding. He went to Princeton, naturally. Is it me, or did it just get waspy in h...
Self-Proclaimed World Champion Gets His Ass Handed To Him By 61-Year-Old Floyd Mayweather Sr.
Charlie Zelenoff is an internet legend. An unstable, unemployed Californian, he has spent the last few years living the online persona of an undefeated boxer. He's made fake belts for himself, refers to fights against heavyweight champions that never actually happened, and most hilariously, "edited"...
There Is Finally An Inspirational Children's Book About Danny Woodhead
If every undersized, scrappy professional athlete could have an inspirational children’s book written about him or her, the world would be full of adolescents with overblown expectations about their futures. But since that’s already the case with America’s youth, scraptastic young men like Greg Paul...
Caroline Wozniacki And Rory McIlroy Obnoxiously Remind Us That They Are Nos. 1 And 2 In The World
We should only be so cynical about young love, but young love should only give itself so many insufferable personalized nicknames and offer so many reminders that the young people in question—the Wozz in "Wozzilroy" is 21 years old and the Ilroy is 22—hold the best and second-best world rankings in ...
Even Criminal Lobbyist Jack Abramoff Lectured Dan Snyder About The Redskins Name, Likening It To "The New York Jew Boys"
Scumbag lobbyist and George Bush leg-humper Jack Abramoff has a self-serving book out called Capital Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington Corruption From America's Most Notorious Lobbyist. In the book, which you should not buy, Abramoff details his relationship with Dan Snyder, whom Abramoff ...
How Boca Raton Lost Its All-Star Pro Soccer Team Without Even Trying
The Boca Raton magicJack should have been the most marketable franchise in Women's Professional Soccer. The squad, formerly the D.C.-based Washington Freedom, was bought before the 2011 season by millionaire Dan Borislow, who renamed it after his own telecom product and moved it near his Florida hom...
76-Year-Old Woman Whose Dying Wish Was To See A Rangers Championship Died Last Night
Heneri Ann Short of Red Oak, Texas, was a baseball fan her whole life: her father used to plop her on the mound as a baby when he pitched for his rural league team. She was a Rangers fan for as long as they existed. She battled bone and lung cancer for the last three months, finally deciding to stop...
Some Jackass Scammed At Least 25 Schools Out Of Thousands Of Dollars With The Promise Of NFL Players
If there's one thing kids are into these days, it's bullying each other. It would be nice if they would stop, but they won't listen to parents or teachers. It's scientifically proven that the only people kids will listen to are NFL players, preferably at a special schoolwide assembly. So when public...
Dan Snyder Does An Interview! (For His Own TV Show. With A Fifth Grader.)
The last time Dan Snyder subjected himself to the terrifying bright lights of a studio interview, it was June, and it was bullshit. Back then, he went on the D.C. affiliates of FOX and NBC and agreed to pretend that his flack, Tony Wyllie, hadn't planted every single question. It was so scripted t...