pie Page 40 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Erick Dampier Is Literally A Textbook Example Of Irrational Behavior
In general, I don't give Erick Dampier much thought, and I'm guessing neither do you. He is far from an NBA superstar, and if he's at all memorable, it's only for having once been memorably overpaid....

If You Want To Throw Up, Here's Kirk Herbstreit And Chris Spielman Gushing Over Urban Meyer
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Spoiler alert, they love him and he'll lead Ohio State to six consecutive national titles....

Let's Revisit The Time Dale Hunter Earned The Then-Longest Suspension In NHL History
No one ever accused Bruce Boudreau of lacking fire. (N.B. "Fucking shitbums.") It seems Caps execs are succeeding fire with fire, tapping Dale Hunter, who amassed the equivalent of two-and-a-half full days in the penalty box during his NHL career. Hunter, by all accounts, is a gentleman off the ic...

Jose Reyes Seinfeld The Puppy Begs Jose Reyes The Human To Stay With The Mets
Jerry Seinfeld is a Mets fan, for some masochistic reason. Being a Mets fan means always having to say they’re sorry. But one silver lining is the very real chance of re-signing Jose Reyes, so that they can pay him $15 million when he’s 36 years old, which is the soonest possible time the team will ...

Puppy On Freeway Makes For Most Adorable Police Chase Ever
A puppy—allegedly a Yorkie—escaped from the back of a vehicle that had been a part of a rollover crash on the freeway in Tempe, Ariz., on Wednesday. Because it's Friday, we set video of the ensuing police chase to NWA's "Fuck Tha Police" in an attempt to make the baddest Yorkie alive even badder. ...

The Official Who Breaks Up A Hockey Fight Will Sometimes Get Punched In the Face. Twice.
Your morning roundup for Nov. 4, the day we finally had it up to here with hugging. Video of hockey fight via Cosby Sweaters; H/T to Alicia. For an excellent GIF of Cal Clutterbuck's punch, be sure to check out West Coast Digress. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Happy Dog Leads Adorable Pitch Invasion
At a Copa Sudamericana (think the Europa League for CONMEBOL), a round of 16 match was interrupted by—OH MAN LOOKIT THAT DOG GO! With Santa Fe up 4-0 on Botafogo, play drew to a halt when—HAHA HE IS SO HAPPY TO RUN IN THE GRASS! Players and officials tried their best to grab him, but—OMG HE IS IN ...

Ozzie Guillen Will Appear On <em>Baseball Tonight</em> Throughout The World Series
It dawns on me that we could play a game with two tentpoles of recent Chicago White Sox squads. We'll call the game "Guillen OR Pierzynski." Said the White Sox drink rally beer during games to get themselves going? (Pierzynski.) Went on a profane tirade after the White Sox lost to Bruce fucking Chen...

This Has Never Happened Before In The History Of Ever: Rick DiPietro Is Hurt
Islanders goalie Rick DiPietro took a puck off the facemask during practice yesterday, and will not suit up for tonight's game. Doctors have not ruled out a concussion, nor the probability that he'd slip and fall in the parking lot if he were to play....

Not To Be Outdone, A.J. Pierzynski Would Like You To Know That The White Sox Occasionally Drink "Rally Beer" During Games
White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski, everyone's favorite bleached-blond gnat (and World Series broadcaster), apparently wanted to stick up for the Red Sox players, bullied by the owners and the Boston Globe. So he went on The Dan Patrick Show and told everyone the White Sox occasionally drink in the c...

A.J. Pierzynski Will Be Irritating You On World Series Broadcasts This Year
Fox Sports announced today, per USA Today, that once-blond nuisance (and current White Sox starting catcher) AJ Pierzynski would join Eric Karros' pompadour and the formerly frosted, still gelled tips of Chris Rose on Fox's World Series pregame and postgame coverage. Yuck. (We presume Jeanne Zelasko...

Giants Rookie Conor Gillaspie Had A Very Rookie Inside-The-Park Homer Last Night (Video)
There are two things that make this—Conor Gillaspie's first major league home run—a very rookie home run: 1. The stumble and trip as he is waved home ( "Honestly, I was pretty embarrassed," he said after the game. "I didn't want to get up"); and 2. The fact that once he had made it home and set al...

Charles P. Pierce Takes His Red-Hot Career To Grantland
Remember this (to which Bill Simmons responded thusly)? "In addition to leading Esquire's politics blog, Mr. Pierce will write a regular column for Grantland and contribute occasionally to The Triangle blog." Honestly, this is wonderful news. [Observer]...

Wade Belak, Another NHL Enforcer, Found Dead (UPDATE: A Suicide, According To <em>Toronto Sun</em>)
Longtime NHL defenseman Wade Belak, who spent much of his career with the Maple Leafs, was found dead at 35 today in his Toronto hotel, according to a report from QMI Agency in Canada....

Paul Pierce And Michael Beasley Had Asthma Attacks During A Game In China, Because Everyone Was Smoking
There are known hazards for NBA players considering playing a year in China: they might not let you out of your contract if the lockout ends, and you could always get hurt, like Michael Beasley apparently did on Monday. But one of the things they don't tell you about is the omnipresent clouds of smo...

Mets Fans Now Being Hunted Down Like Dogs, By Dogs
Flushing, as a neighborhood, has a decidedly unappealing name. But Citi Field isn't actually located in Flushing. Surrounded by a bay, two freeways and a park, the Mets share their parcel of land with the little-known, less-loved neighborhood of Willets Point. With a permanent population of one, Wil...

Exit Felix Pie; Luke Scott Will Have To Find A New Dark-Skinned Teammate To Throw Banana Chips At
Baseball's most discomfiting buddy comedy is near cancellation: Yesterday, the Baltimore Orioles designated outfielder Felix Pie for assignment, effectively ending his role as the some-of-my-best-friends-are-black clubhouse foil for redneck performance artist Luke Scott. ...

WNBA Trick Shot Commercial Features Layups! Jumpers! And More Jumpers!
Boost Mobile signed a huge multiyear sponsorship deal with the WNBA this morning, and it's not like other American sport sponsorships. Boost won't just have their name on courtside advertisements or all-star weekend programming. They'll have their logo plastered on the front of every WNBA jersey, ...

The Worst Time To Make Up A Quote From A GM Calling One Of His Players Crazy Is Probably In That Player's Obituary
Or, anyway, we think that the worst time you can invent a GM's quote calling a player "crazy" is in that player's obituary....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Life, Death, And Sex On Skis
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. With things sweltering outside, we went looking for stories that might remind us of what it feels like to be cold. We found these instead....