poo Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
UEFA Thankfully Won't Uphold The Dumb VAR Rule That Marred The Women's World Cup
One of the worst-received aspects of the Women’s World Cup this summer was the VAR-induced penalty kick debacle. The choice to subject goalkeepers’ feet locations to exacting scrutiny with video review, and to let penalty takers try their kicks again should VAR detect that a keeper drifted a centime...
Naked Idiot On The Field Rings In The New Premier League Season With A Dong
After a short summer break, the Premier League is back. Liverpool hosted Norwich City in the first match of the season today in a game that featured five goals, several wondrous feats of athleticism, and one pitch invader who made it onto the field just long enough to show the world his dick and ass...
This Is Still Manchester City's Premier League
Do you feel that? That’s the oncoming rush of another Premier League season, which officially kicks off on Friday. After the greatest title race in league history last season, the Premier League could have a worthy sequel on its hands. League runners-up Liverpool returned all the important parts of ...
Georgia Southern QB Has Charges Dropped After Cops Mistook Bird Poop For Cocaine
Georgia Southern starting QB Shai Werts was charged on July 31 for misdemeanor cocaine possession after cops in Saluda County, South Carolina pulled him over for speeding and then tested a white substance on the hood of his car. If you’re wondering why anyone would have cocaine on the hood of their ...
British Man Arrested For Racist Tweet About Mohamed Salah
A 32-year-old Englishman was arrested this morning on suspicion of committing a hate crime for sending a tweet that, according to the Liverpool Echo, included “racist slurs and pictures” of Liverpool’s Egyptian forward, Mohamed Salah....
Manchester City Defeat Liverpool On Penalties To Win Community Shield
Manchester City have won back-to-back FA Community Shield trophies for the first time in club history after defeating Liverpool 5-4 on penalties. Brazilian youngster Gabriel Jesus was the hero for Manchester City, scoring the winning penalty after Claudio Bravo came up big to save Giorgino Wijnadlum...
Wave Pool Transforms Into Tsunami Pool, Injures Over 40 People
A summer day of floating and chilling at Longjing, China’s Yulong Shuiyun Water Amusement Park earlier this week quickly turned dangerous when an oversized wave unexpectedly slammed through the crowded pool. Video from the park is rather quite scary, as people are launched out of the wave pool onto ...
Manchester United Travel Halfway Around The World And Still Can't Escape Liverpool Fans' Trolling
If you had to point at a single day that represents the absolute nadir of being a 21st-Century Manchester United fan, you could make a strong case that today, July 11, 2019, is that day. The team itself is a joke. Their best player desperately wants out. Both the Red Devils’ biggest rivals are in pe...
Waiting For The Revolution At Soccer Analytics Bootcamp
When the 2019 Champions League final between Liverpool and Tottenham kicked off, I wasn’t jammed into a sports bar downing beers with hundreds of other soccer-mad Americans, as I had originally planned to be. Instead, I was dead sober, watching the game in a lecture hall situated on the Columbia Uni...
Some Big-Time Asshole Stole Daniel Sturridge's Dog
English striker Daniel Sturridge, who played for Liverpool last season, posted a video on his Instagram account last night showing the aftermath of an apparent burglarization of his Los Angeles home. In the video, Sturridge says that whoever broke into his house also stole his damn dog:...
Behold The Destructive Force Of An F5 Poop Tornado
Last Thursday, a “sewer blockage” in the town of Melrose, Massachusetts, had city workers scrambling to restore flow across the town’s entire system. The blockage was eventually cleared, but not before it created what one affected resident described as a “tornado of poop” in her bathroom, after raw ...
Nobody Has It Better Than Liverpool
Along the vast spectrum of possible states a soccer club could exist in, there is a vanishingly small patch that, for my tastes, qualifies as ideal....
Defense Won Liverpool The Champions League
In the end, all it took for Jürgen Klopp and Liverpool to finally win a final was one more clean sheet. For all the focus on Liverpool’s vaunted front three of Mohamed Salah, Sadio Mané, and Roberto Firmino, for all the hype surrounding their attacking fullback duo of Andrew Robertson and Trent Alex...
Liverpool Deservedly Win A Rather Dull Champions League Final
In an otherwise uneventful match that was bookended by two Liverpool goals, Jürgen Klopp’s side defeated Tottenham 2-0 for the club’s sixth European title. Mohamed Salah got the Reds on the board early after a very Spursy gaffe gave Liverpool a penalty less than 30 seconds into the game....
Tottenham Couldn't Go 30 Seconds Without Punching Themselves In The Dick
Not even 30 seconds had passed before Tottenham decided to turn up their Spursiness and put themselves in a goal-sized hole against Liverpool in the Champions League final. ...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Cow's Long-Range Turd Hitting Its Mark
This dairy farmer knew that the cow needed to crap. You can see his hesitation as he stopped working and stood back so it could let loose. But Bessie saved him a little extra in the chamber....
Happy Trails To Lazar Marković, A Hero To Underachievers Everywhere
Lazar Marković is not a good soccer player. It would even be fair to describe him as an actively bad one, at least relative to the level expected of players at the clubs that have paid him a sizable salary to do anything but play soccer for them these past few years. And yet, until today, Marković h...
The Night The Lights Went Out
“Pieces were stolen from meOr dare I say… given away?”...
The Premier League Was Decided In 11 Minutes
In the end, it truly is the hope that kills you. When Sadio Mané scored for Liverpool early on in their game against Wolves, it was the start of a frustrating but ultimately fruitful game. The Reds brought it to the surprise seventh-place finishers, scooped up the goal they needed (and another from ...