poo Page 31 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Someone Threw A Sock Full Of Shit At A Woman In Chicago
The headline basically sums it up, but here's the disgusting rundown: A woman riding on a local transit train in Chicago was just minding her own business when a man, unprovoked, hurled a sock full of human feces at her and ran away. And you think your commute is crappy....
Rockets Announcer Rubs It In After Houston Win: "The Lakers Have Just Pooped Their Big-Boy Pants!"
Pau Gasol is rapidly falling out of favor in L.A. On Sunday, for the second time in a week, Gasol was benched for the last few minutes of the game, and he's growing frustrated. Kobe Bryant had a message for him:...
Rick Majerus Is Retiring Due To Heart Problems, So Let's Remember His Career The Way He'd Want It Remembered
Rick Majerus will no longer be lumbering up and down the sidelines at St. Louis University: He's been forced into retirement by a heart condition. The nature of Majerus's exit has led to a bunch of staid and somber reflections on his life and career, with passsages like this, from USA Today:...
Liverpool Fans Get Drenched When Faulty Sprinkler Goes Off At Halftime
"You know what would be fun? A football match," one might say to a friend. "Let's get tickets and go," a friend might respond. "It'll be a nice day and there would be absolutely no chance of us getting soaked to the bone by some random, malfunctioning sprinkler positioned right at the edge of the pi...
Liverpool Apologizes To Fake Rumormonger For Threatening His Family
Sean Cummins was just a regular guy with too much time on his hands, and a pseudonymous Twitter account, and a knack for guessing at soccer transactions. Liverpool executives believed that "Duncan Jenkins" was a real journalist, with sources inside the club, who drove up the team's transfer costs by...
An Astounding Story Of Fraud, Blackmail, And The Fake Twitter Rumormonger Who Took On Liverpool
You don't need a ton of context to appreciate how batshit amazing this story is. Out of nowhere, a Twitter account emerges, claiming to have inside information. He floats some transfer rumors, scores a few hits, and all of a sudden becomes one of the more trusted sources covering Liverpool FC. So tr...
"Team Obama Loses Early Wicket": The Romney-Obama Debate Was Like Every Sport Conceivable, According To Internet
The debate Wednesday could be compared to many things—a slow dance in which the partners are holding potato peelers to each other's throats, perhaps, or a restaurant in which you, the diner, get to watch a prep cook slow-spit on your burger before it's served—but of course everyone immediately turne...
Manchester United Fans Chanted "Murderers" At Liverpool In The First Match At Anfield After The Hillsborough Report
Yesterday's match, a controversial 2-1 loss to United, was Liverpool's first time back at Anfield since the release of the Hillsborough Independent Panel's findings. The report absolved Reds supporters of any blame in the 1989 stampede that killed 96 fans, and the day was sure to be an emotional o...
Story About LeBron Promising Liverpool A Vegas Party Was Too Fake For Even The British Tabloids To Stand Behind
Liverpool is...not having the best of starts. The high-priced, high-expectation club has gotten out of the gate at 0-2-1, which is only the second-most disastrous performance of the year for a Fenway Sports Group team. But another Reds owner was reportedly not so sanguine about the results. LeBron J...
Deadspin Classic, Labor Day Edition: The Asshole Boss Digest With The Boss Who Expected An Employee To Clean Up His Poop
Originally published March 8, 2010. For other dispatches from the wide world of horrible bosses, revisit our Asshole Boss Digest series....
Luis Suárez Seized A Short-Lived Liverpool Lead With This Picture-Perfect Free Kick Goal
Minutes after allowing a Yaya Touré goal to equalize, Luis Suárez brought the Anfield crowd to its feet with a strike that bent around Manchester City defenders and bounced just past keeper Joe Hart into the bottom corner....
McKayla Maroney's Meme Knowledge Is...Impressive
Most impressive. Here is a photo Maroney posted to instagram with teammates Aly Raisman and Kyla Ross posing for a picture at their hotel maybe? Trying to get in a quick swim. Their luck ran out however, as they were informed the pool's closed....
Jason Babin Was Cleared For An MRI Because He Finally Took A Shit
Philadelphia Eagles defensive end Jason Babin strained his calf on Saturday, and while the team right away announced he would be out for about a week, they wanted Babin to undergo an MRI, just to be sure. One problem: Babin had been administered a pill that functions as an internal thermometer, so t...
How Do You Get The Contest Out Of Your System? Trying To Answer The Only Question On Anybody's Mind At Nathan's
The Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest is a lot of things—patriotic, promotional, repellant—but above all, the contest is a study in misdirection. Like so many of Coney Island's storied card sharks and freak shows, the contest succeeds by distracting its audience, pl...
The Time I Got Stool Softener For My Ear Because My Earwax Was Stabbing My Brain, And Other Poop Stories
Hello, little lambs. It's me, some lady! You might remember me from yelling about vagina over at Jezebel, or from that time one year ago when Drew went on vacation and I wrote a weird Funbag about banana phones and jism. Can you believe it's been an entire year? ME NEITHER. But now Drew has up and l...
Torii Hunter Interviews An Astronaut In Space, Asks How He Poops
Yesterday Torii Hunter spent about 15 minutes interviewing astronaut Joe Acaba while he was in the middle of a four-month-long mission in the International Space Station. It was actually a funny, goofy little segment between the two. Hunter asked if he could see Mark Trumbo's home runs from space, ...
That Fan Who Hugged Luis Suarez Treated The Crowd To A Great Big Wanking Motion Before Mooning Everybody
On Saturday, we showed you footage of Liverpool's Luis Suarez clinching a hat trick by scoring from 45 yards out against Norwich City. Some 30 seconds into that clip, you might have noticed what looked like a fan in street clothes making his way onto the pitch to hug Suarez. What you see above is ...
Luis Suarez Finished A Hat Trick With An Unbelievably Stupid Shot From Just Past Midfield
Liverpool striker and alleged racist Luis Suarez capped off a hat trick against Norwich City today with a ridiculous, stupid strike from 45 yards out. We use the words "ridiculous" and "stupid" here unironically. For him to take this shot with an nearly open pitch in front of him (and teammate St...
Brian Bosworth Was Probably A Shitty Landlord
The Boz, as he is affectionately known to people from the early nineties who loved mullets and C action films, is being sued for some sort of septic system gone awry in a mansion he owned as recently as 2009. Let's just table the outright absurdity of Brian Bosworth actually owning a mansion in 200...