pr Page 615 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let's Set Some Dang Goals
Goals. How do they work? They’re as mystifying as magnets. Apart from very concrete, snaggable things—a new job offer, a school acceptance, sufficient savings for a new car—lots of people just try to do things well until they get incrementally better at the thing, never having any firm standard to m...
The Profane Teachings Of Johnny Rodz, The Wrestler Who Jobbed His Way Into The Hall Of Fame
I’m standing in Gleason’s Gym in Brooklyn, New York, a place Ali and Jake LaMotta trained in decades ago, and Johnny Rodz is giving me shit because I told him I like The Wrestler....
Middlesbrough Score Bonkers 94th-Minute Winner To Go Top Of The Championship
Fighting to remain above the fray and qualify for promotion to the Premier League directly, Middlesborough took on midtable Reading yesterday. Deep into stoppage time the game was still 1-1, but on a last gasp corner kick, Middlesbrough scored whatever the hell this is....
Here Is The Grimmest Of All Philadelphia 76er Anecdotes
Ontological question: If an NBA team chooses its players precisely for their generic inability to compete in the NBA—that is to say, for not belonging in the NBA at all—then are they truly NBA players?...
Aston Villa Decide They're Too Terrible To Hand Out Awards
Aston Villa are bad. Really bad. Really, really bad....
Don't Panic, But Zika Might Be "Scarier Than We Initially Thought"
That’s what Dr. Anne Schuchat, deputy director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, said at a White House briefing on Monday. The pronouncement accompanied a request made by Dr. Schuchat and Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases...
Leonardo DiCaprio Didn't Want To Be Seen At An Islanders Game
Who’s that mysterious rogue in a Cal hat sitting next to Kevin Connolly at Saturday’s Islanders game? Could it be Leonardo DiCaprio? Since he so skillfully concealed his face from the cameras, we can’t say for sure. Whoever it is, he really didn’t want to be recognized....
Jamie Vardy's Bulldozing Goal Is A Metaphor For Leicester City's Season
Watch this latest Jamie Vardy goal, his 21st of the season. Watch him pick up the ball at the halfway line, cooly assess the situation, and decide on the brute-force move of “kick it past the motherfucker and run.” Watch him bulldoze Patrick Van Aanholt, slip past Vito Mannone, and secure a 2-0 win ...
NASCAR Invocation Features Prayer To Elect A Republican President
Unapologetic bigot Phil Robertson delivered the invocation before tonight’s NASCAR race in Texas, and it didn’t disappoint—if you were looking forward to the duck call industrialist to pray for “A Jesus man” to be elected president in November....
Failure Artist Sam Hinkie Produces His Masterpiece
Professional engineer of failure Sam Hinkie quit the Philadelphia 76ers last night via a batshit, borderline incoherent, hilariously self-congratulatory 13-page resignation letter, inadvertently rendering into generous flattery every joke made at his expense over the three years he spent failing at ...
And Now, A Dramatic Reading Of Sam Hinkie’s Batshit Resignation Letter
Sixers GM Sam Hinkie unexpectedly resigned yesterday and left behind a rambling, legitimately nutzoid 13-page letter that I hope will serve as a giant blinking warning sign to any future employer of his, be it an NBA team (fat chance) or an investment firm or the sales force at Lyft, which is where ...
The Idea Behind The Process Is Wrong, And Always Has Been
Newly former Philadelphia 76ers general manager Sam Hinkie’s “Process” encompassed a number of tenets, but its basic philosophical underpinning was that the NBA draft is the best and cheapest way to build a contender, and that the NBA draft is a crapshoot. A roll of the dice....
Here Is Sam Hinkie's Full 13-Page Letter Of Resignation To The Sixers (UPDATES)
Earlier tonight, we asked you to give up the full 13-page letter that Sam Hinkie sent to the Philadelphia 76ers as he resigned. None of you did, but ESPN’s Marc Stein thankfully just posted it in its entirety....
Report: Sam Hinkie Has Left The Sixers (UPDATES)
Per ESPN’s Marc Stein, Sam Hinkie has stepped down as the general manager of the Philadelphia 76ers (unless he in fact had some different post with “Philadelphial”?)....
Sixers Win Game, Make History
The Philadelphia 76ers—a misshapen experiment in gaming the NBA Draft lottery, who, weirdly enough, play actual basketball games—won their tenth game of the season tonight. Pity the poor Pelicans, who came into the year as a sexy pick to win 50 games, but had to stand by as Carl Landry (who had 22 p...
How Do You Survive Allergy Season?
For the allergic, happiness is at odds with the changing of the weather, because when the world starts thawing and the trees start blooming, the blooms start spewing pollen, and everything it touches goes to ruin. Yes, pollen, marauding your eyeballs and nasal passages, fooling your dumb immune syst...
Thon Maker, Supremely Watchable Tall Teen, Declares For NBA Draft
Thon Maker, a 19-year-old stick figure with maybe once-in-a-generation basketball skills and a strong name, declared for the 2016 NBA Draft last night in this Bleacher Report video....
Welcome To Baseball: Spring Training Memories In Sunny Orlando
A mother sparrow emerges from her nest atop a newly visible grave, a grave that had been buried in the cruel, gray snow until this afternoon. It is not yet officially spring, but the days are slightly warmer, and a trickle of water—melted snow—snakes past the sparrowess’ home. For months, to hydrate...