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A Good Day To Look Away: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
Let’s take a quick glance around a week’s worth of NFL news before we get to the good stuff:...
Kyle Walker Freaks Out More Tottenham Players With Halloween Prank
Kyle Walker is back as the Tottenham video team’s avatar in their seasonal effort to get the club’s players to squeal like children. Some good shrieks up there, and while Jan Vertonghen’s reaction isn’t quite as stoic as last time, his countryman Mousa Dembélé makes up for it....
"Weird Al" Yankovic Is Every Coach At A Postgame Press Conference
“Weird Al” Yankovic has expanded his abilities to parody. His latest effort takes on the usually dull ritual that is the postgame press conference. The image of Weird Al with short hair might shock you, but move past that....
A Guide To Cleaning Every Possible Halloween Mess (Including Fake Blood)
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Coming Soon To Seattle-Area High School Football: Satanic Invocations (UPDATE)
The legal position on prayer in public school in America is, generally, settled. Across decades of cases, the Supreme Court has held that religion may not be included in school-sponsored activities, but that students may independently gather for religious purposes. But a high school football coach i...
There Are No Innocent Black People
Monday afternoon, video emerged of a white man approaching a small, black girl sitting in a classroom, noosing a thick arm around her neck, slamming her to the ground while she was still entangled in her desk, picking her up again, throwing her some distance across the room, and then again pinning h...
Oh, Wow, The NBA Season Started A Few Hours Ago
Hey, the NBA season started tonight! The first nationally televised game, Cavaliers-Bulls in Chicago, started ... uh, pretty much at the same time as Game 1 of the World Series. The late game started a while ago. That’s dumb. I hope you’re watching the World Series....
911 Call: Employee Told Cops: "I Don’t Feel Comfortable" Letting John Henson In Store
Milwaukee Bucks forward John Henson said last week he had been racially profiled at a Whitefish Bay, Wis., jewelry store, where he went to buy his first Rolex only to find the doors locked. Henson rang the bell and nobody answered, because store employees were in the back calling the cops....
The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian
You’ve seen a painting of Norbert Grupe. A heavy, creased brow and shoulder-length hair framing a frightening scowl, the massive work hung in the fictional Manhattan Museum of Art in Ghostbusters II. When the medieval sorcerer pictured within the painting begins to physically manifest, it is on the ...
It Turns Out Sugar Is Bad For You
Yesterday, we lost red meat to cancer, and today, we’re mourning another casualty: sugar, which has been deemed toxic by a new study....
Cop Attacks High School Student In Her Classroom
Video has come out of a cop—a school resource officer, or SRO, tasked with performing law enforcement duties in an educational environment—attacking a student today at Spring Valley High School in Columbia, S.C. The footage is graphic....
Gerard Deulofeu Is Kind Of A Nutcase But I Love Him All The Same
If the whole of Arsenal’s 2-1 win over Everton this weekend left me with any lasting impression, it was that I should give more respect to the Gunners’ budding title charge; they more or less coasted to another three points against formidable opposition, the sort of thing they’ve seemed capable of i...
The Abyss Looks Back: Your Guide To Ignoring Football Today
Gah. Another high school kid died from a football injury this week—the seventh of this football season. What the hell....
NXT Is Lapping WWE Right Now
Welcome to Deadspin’s irregular pro wrestling column, in which Tom Breihan and Ernest Wilkins will comb through the past month or so of superkicks, lariats, and 450 splashes in search of the greatest things that this most American of artforms has given us....
Daniel Sturridge Has No Luck
If you wanted more proof that Daniel Sturridge is cursed with terrible, rotten, no-good luck, here you go: after finally returning to action about a month ago after last spring’s hip surgery, the Liverpool striker is set to miss his third consecutive match with knee discomfort and will undergo a sca...
David Moyes Belongs In The Premier League
David Moyes, the once-esteemed former manager of Everton and Manchester United, is in trouble. After getting run out of the biggest job in the Premier League in humiliating fashion, he fled to the relatively calm shores of Basque Country. There, he sought to rehabilitate his career with ambitious an...
Texans Owner Donates $10,000 To Houston Group Opposing Anti-Discrimination Law
On Nov. 3, Houston residents will vote on Proposition 1, a proposed ordinance that would help protect people from discrimination at work, in public, and in the housing market. A major opponent of Proposition 1 is the Campaign for Houston PAC, a group that produced a campaign commercial in which form...
The Canadiens Are So Hot Right Now
Maybe the Canadiens got bored with going 6-0 against the East to start the season. So last night they welcomed the Blues, the first-place team in the West and on a four-game winning streak of their own, and shut them out....
Frank Caliendo Breaks Down The <i>Star Wars</i> Trailer As ESPN Personalities
This is the kind of Star Wars/ESPN cross promotion that Disney is going to spend the next few months driving you insane with, but you can’t deny that Frank Caliendo is very good at what he does. ...