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West Ham Fan Keeps Word, Gets Ass Tattoo To Commemorate Win Over Arsenal
Arsenal, this year’s sexy pick to Do Some Things in England’s Premier League this year, kicked off their campaign yesterday at home against West Ham. What follows is a story in two tweets:...
<i>True Detective </i>Season Two Lines, Ranked
19. “That’s one off the bucket list. Mexican standoff with actual Mexicans.”...
Soccer Player's Butt Healed By Magic Spray
“Become a soccer physio,” they said. “It’s an easy job,” they said. “You’ll never have to coat a player’s ass in cold spray in a stadium full of people,” they said....
Liverpool Beat Stoke Thanks To Lightning Strike From Coutinho
Philippe Coutinho’s rocket from outside the box proved to be the deciding goal in today’s 1-0 Liverpool win over Stoke, and is more likely than not to hold up as the Premiership’s golazo of the opening week....
Watch Sydney Seau's Tribute To Her Father At His Hall Of Fame Induction
Junior Seau told his daughter Sydney before his death that he wanted her to speak on his behalf if he ever made it into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. The Hall wasn’t having any of that, though they eventually relented and gave the 21-year-old a few minutes to talk about her dad. She notably doesn’t...
Jose Mourinho Is In Midseason Form As Chelsea Barely Survive Swansea
Chelsea opened their Premier League title defense today with a topsy turvy 2-2 draw against Swansea City. As you can see, Jose Mourinho ain’t too happy about it. Our staff of amateur lip readers concurs that he’s dropping a “Fuck off Michael!”—directed towards referee Michael Oliver—but you could ma...
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The First Goal Of The Premier League Season Is ... An Own Goal
Here it is, the day we’ve all been waiting for: the return of the EPL. Manchester United-Tottenham is our opener, and though Spurs started brightly, all their good work was undone thanks to a terrible pass by Nabil Bentaleb. It wasn’t the prettiest season-christening goal, but we’ll take it....
Extreme Humidity Is Turning My Home Into Gorgonzola
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
The Best Of The Best: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 3
You’ve made it to the third and final installment of our Premier League preview, and what lies below is a rundown of what we at Deadspin consider the six (6) least bad teams in all of England’s top flight. This thirdish of the league is important because this is where teams are fighting for all-impo...
The Uncomfortable Middle: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 2
For the American sports fan, following soccer means a reorientation about what constitutes success. With the success of the top teams reinforced by Champions League appearances and an enhanced global profile, there is a virtuous cycle to being good that makes it even harder to break into the top. At...
Stop Procrastinating And Quit Being A Flake
Ask An Adequate Woman is a space where folks can ask the questions they can’t—or maybe just won’t!—pose to their friends about relationships, fashion, family dramas, dating, existential crises, weird sex stuff, and everything else. The Women of Deadspin (and some of our clever friends) are here to h...
Starting From The Bottom: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 1
PREMIER LEAGUE BACK....
The Pac-12 Will Be Great, So Try To Stay Up Past Your Bedtime
Welcome to our college football conference previews, in which we will tell you what you need to know about various conferences, with an emphasis on watchability. First up is the Pac-12....
Classic Man: "What To Do If The Pilot Dies"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. This is our first example, on the matter of air travel. ...
Some Guy Simulated 1,000 Seasons Into The Future In <i>Football Manager</i>
Everybody knows that the true joy of playing Football Manager is getting a decade or so into the future and seeing the new Messis and Ronaldos and Mourinhos and Guardiolas come and go. Reddit user “Lorf_Yimzo” took this to its logical conclusion, setting up a save in England, simulating into the yea...
Watch WWE's Salute To "Rowdy" Roddy Piper
Tonight’s WWE Raw opened, as it did just a few weeks ago for Dusty Rhodes, with the full company of superstars lined up to recognize a 10-bell salute to “Rowdy” Roddy Piper—followed by a career montage that touches on pretty much everything you could remember about “Hot Rod.”...
Master Of NBA Mimicry Unveils Perfect Kobe Bryant Impression
@BdotAdot5, the man who graced us with that balls-out homage to Russell Westbrook, has been hard at work pumping out more impressions of NBA players. His work as James Harden and Tim Duncan are highly recommended, but his latest entry may be his best:...
Let <i>True Detective</i>'s Total Absurdity Wash All Over You
Apologies if these thoughts on last night’s penultimate episode of True Detective come off as disjointed and confusing, though that would be a fitting homage to this entire season, but man, this show is a marvelous disaster. That lousy first episode was a sign of things to come....
Report: WWE Hall Of Famer "Rowdy" Roddy Piper Is Dead [UPDATES]
Roddy Toombs, best known for portraying “Rowdy” Roddy Piper in both the former WWF and WCW, is dead at the age of 61 according to a TMZ report. He was central to the explosion of WWF’s popularity, with his feuds against Hulk Hogan and Mr. T playing prominent roles in the creation of the first Wrestl...