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Pink Elephants On Parade: Your Guide to Ignoring the NFL Today
What a day for football, you guys! Here's a rundown:...

West Brom And Manchester City Played In A Real-Life Snow Globe Today
It might've been a day too late for West Bromwich citizens dreaming of a white Christmas, but at least the they got to enjoy an unending stream of flakes during today's Boxing Day match against Manchester City....

Spend Your Holiday Season In Prison
If Deadspin gave out Rookie of the Year awards, 2014 might belong to Daniel Genis, who finished a 10-year prison bid in February and has already written several books' worth of raw, incredible, visceral, and profoundly human dispatches about his time inside. There's no better day to revisit the stuf...

What We Know About The Confusing Saga Of Brennan Clay And "Spray Tan"
The love triangle—or possible misunderstanding—involving NFL free-agent running back Brennan Clay, his wife Gina D'Agostini, and Cowboys halfback DeMarco "Spray Tan" Murray has played out slowly since the end of November, offering enough twists and turns to confuse even those who know the involved...

Kevin Nash Arrested For Battery, Reportedly Fought With Teenage Son
Longtime WWE and WCW wrestler Kevin Nash has been arrested on suspicion of battery, after police responded to his Florida home on a domestic-violence call early this morning. ...

How Real Are These Rumors About Gareth Bale To Manchester United?
The January transfer window is almost here, which means the rumor mill is just starting to rev up into the senseless, self-serving, outlandish, and dangerously addicting clusterfuck we've come to expect. And while some of the rumors can already be written off fairly easily—Barcelona to sell Busque...

86 Players Not Named Odell Beckham Jr. Made The Pro Bowl
The NFL has announced the 2015 Pro Bowl rosters, and since you aren't going to watch the game nor do you actually care about the Pro Bowl, here's the actionable information: Odell Beckham Jr. did not make the team. Despite being tied for the fourth most TDs, having the third most yards per game, a...

MLS Farm Team Coach Charged With Murder Of Off-Duty Cop In England
Christopher Spendlove, an assistant coach for USL Pro's Oklahoma City Energy FC, and a friend of his have been charged with killing an off-duty police officer in their native England. The two former American collegiate athletes are also charged with inflicting grievous bodily harm on two other offic...

Pimp's Progress: How Richard Pryor Made <i>The Mack </i>His Own
Excerpted from Scott Saul's new biography, Becoming Richard Pryor. Quick setup: When Pryor started collaborating on the screenplay to The Mack—the 1973 film that brought the figure of the pimp to mainstream America—he was at an uncertain crossroads in his career. In the mid-1960s, he had become a ...

The Prison Forger's Christmas Miracle
I learned to love Christmas and see the good in all mankind on Christmas Eve 2006, which I spent in Greenhaven, a maximum-security prison in New York State. Two years of heroin addiction culminating in five convictions for armed robbery had brought me there, and it was already my fourth holiday se...

Miami Lost And Then Won The Game On Two Huge Special-Teams Plays
With about five minutes remaining in a tied contest against Minnesota, Miami received a kickoff with the game seemingly tilted in their favor with Win Probability at 61 percent and an opportunity to run clock and take a late go-ahead lead. But rookie wideout Jarvis Landry slipped on the return, got ...

Player Gets Red Card For Hacking Down His Own Brother
I mean, I get it. Sometimes, brothers suck. Sometimes, shit gets heated. Sometimes, there's nothing to do but take a running start, slide two feet through the back of their legs, and deal with Ma Dukes later....

The Profound Shittiness of ALS: Today's Guide to Ignoring the NFL
This week the Washington Post's Rick Maese published a harrowing, fairly devastating account of the recent hardships of former NFL fullback Kevin Turner, a leading plaintiff in the NFL concussion lawsuit, who is locked in a desperate battle with late-stage ALS....

Yaya Touré Is Back To Smashing In The Goals
It was a bit of a shaky start for Yaya Touré this season, and as Manchester City's best player, it's meant a bit of a shaky start for the club. But today's match against Crystal Palace saw him back to the position he's most comfortable in, finishing off a perfectly worked counter by bludgeoning th...

Here's A Mutant Hybrid Of Everyone's NFL Playoff Projections
With the NFL playoffs just a few weeks away, there are a lot of playoff probabilities going around. Functionally, these all do more or less the same thing. So instead of churning out our own—which, face it, we are probably not going to do better than what's already out in the world—we're mashing eve...

But Is He Elite?
Photo credits: Lynne Sladky, Eric Charbonneau/Invision/AP...

Frank Caliendo Does "The Night Before Christmas" As 10 Different ESPNers
Frank Caliendo was on that radio show with the two guys with the same name this morning, and he busted out many of his ESPN impressions to read "The Night Before Christmas." At this point, his voices are so good, you'd think he locked up all these personalities in his basement as part of an elabor...

Testimony In Darren Sharper Case Reveals Alleged Use Of "Horny Juice"
Details are starting to drip out surrounding the alleged serial druggings and rapes that former NFL player Darren Sharper stands accused of. Testimony given yesterday at a hearing for one of Sharper's co-defendants sheds light on their alleged use of drugged cocktails, and hints that Sharper wasn't ...

Drugs, Chess, Books, Or Gambling: How To Fight Boredom In Prison
Leisure time, unstructured and purposeless, generally makes up most of an American prison inmate's day. Most convicts are just sent to the yard, where they socialize, exercise, play games and sports, and make their deals. Entire lives are spent in the incarcerated world, typified by the sexual com...

Chile Is Obsessed With Alexis Sánchez's Sex Life
New Arsenal star Alexis Sánchez has come into the Premier League and torn shit up. Naturally, his native Chile has been very interested in their local hero's exploits. And while there hasn't been too much to worry about in terms of his playing performance, the country's press has kept a close eye on...