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Arizona's Justification For Trading Justin Upton Is Insufferable
The Arizona Diamondbacks' decision to trade Justin Upton to the Atlanta Braves for Martin Prado, Randall Delgado, and a handful of prospects is a curious one. Upton had a relatively disappointing season in 2012 (he still posted 2.5 WAR according to Fangraphs), but he looked like the second coming o...
Rating Every Sketch In <em>Kentucky Fried Movie</em>, The Film <em>Movie 43</em> Wanted to Be
Tomorrow, the film Movie 43 opens, and if its stars have their way, you'll never know a thing about it. As amusingly detailed in the New York Post this week, the myriad of movie stars involved in Movie 43 — including Richard Gere, Naomi Watts, Halle Berry, Emma Stone, Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet —...
Soccer Fans' Chant At Player Who Temporarily Left Match During Play: "He Went For A Shit"
During Monday night's 0-0 English Premier League draw between Everton and Southampton, Southampton midfielder Jason Puncheon briefly left the pitch during the action and vanished into the tunnel, only to return a short time later. Upon his return, the hometown fans eloquently serenaded Puncheon wi...
Cop Out. <em>Broken City</em>, Reviewed.
When Mark Wahlberg is at his best, it doesn't look as if he's acting. In fact, it hardly seems as if he's even thinking. Watch him in The Departed or I Heart Huckabees and he comes across as a flawed regular guy who just wants to do the right thing, even though his characters aren't always the brigh...
The NFC Is Running Low On Pro Bowl Quarterbacks
Matt Ryan hurt his shoulder when he was pancaked to the turf by Ahmad Brooks with 1:55 remaining. It looked ugly, and Ryan got up slowly. It was his left, non-throwing shoulder, but his next two passes were incomplete. When Atlanta recovered the ball with time left for one play, Ryan's "hail mary" o...
"I Meant To Say 'Allegedly' Speeding, My Bad": A Texas Judge Was Reprimanded For Blabbing About Johnny Manziel's Speeding Ticket On Facebook
The screenshot on the right is from the Facebook account of Ennis, TX judge Lee Johnson, who apparently had a speeding ticket issed to Johnny Manziel come across his desk and apparently couldn't help himself. It's not easy deciding the best part between the solemn, beard-stroking "Gig Em indeed" an...
How To Make Chicken Soup: A Guide For The Flu-Stricken, I.E., Every Goddamn One Of You
So you've got the flu; I've got the flu; your significant other and/or kids and/or parakeets have the flu; everybody's got the flu. One of the annoying things about the flu, after, y'know, the raging fever and the intractable body aches and the weakness and your pores turning into disgusting sweat-h...
Last Night, Lance Armstrong Told Oprah About Confessing To His Children
If anyone can be forgiven for not knowing that Lance Armstrong won his seven Tour de France trophies partly with drug-aided superhuman strength, it's his children, to whom he was understandably a hero and beyond reproach. The second part of Armstrong's much-hyped interview contained few notable mo...
Breaking Down The Craziest Half-Inning In Television History
Originally published in Baseball Prospectus....
Lance Armstrong Admits To Doping, Being An "Arrogant Prick" In Interview With Oprah
Our long national nightmare is over. Lance Armstrong's pre-recorded interview with Oprah just aired, and Armstrong flatly admitted to using performance enhancing drugs. Oprah began the interview with a series of yes-or-no questions about whether or not Armstrong had used a variety of PEDs during hi...
The 10 Films I’m Most Excited To See At The Sundance Film Festival
Every year, the Sundance Film Festival shows about 200 features, documentaries and shorts. Last year, the festival was the launching pad for Oscar-nominated films Beasts of the Southern Wild, The Sessions, and Searching for Sugar Man, not to mention that it premiered modest indie hits like Sleepwalk...
NBC's NHL Promo Tries To Rewrite Last Season's Playoff Results
The Flyers beat the Penguins in the first round of the playoffs last year, yet it wasn't as simple as that. The teams combined for 56 goals, hundreds of penalty minutes, and multiple suspensions. It was simultaneously the ugliest and most entertaining playoff series in recent member. But the Flyer...
NFL 2012: Which Teams Actually Had Injuries, And Which Teams Just Lied?
Football injuries are random but inevitable. Every year, some teams will spend the season in an MRI machine, and others will end up pretty much unharmed (outside of thousands of micro-concussions). Just as predictably, some coaches will try to obfuscate their team's health to screw with their oppone...
Lance Armstrong's Biggest Crime Was Being A Huge Asshole
By now, you know that Lance Armstrong will be giving a two-and-a-half-hour confession to Oprah Winfrey on Thursday and Friday nights (Two nights? Jesus Christ, Shogun wasn't that long). No one who watches this thing will be there to hear Armstrong admit to doping. We all knew that ages ago. The reas...
The NFL Is Pretty Damn Funny When Subjected To Some Bad Lip Reading
If you use the internet on a regular basis, you've probably come across one of those Bad Lip Reading videos. Many of them are funny, but this one in particular caught our attention because it features NFL players....
Syracuse's Former Athletics Media Director Accused Of Videotaping More Than 100 Athletes In Locker Rooms
Roger Springfield, 57, a former sportscaster fired last month as the Syracuse athletic department's director of media, was arraigned this morning on four counts of unlawful surveillance for allegedly making locker-room video recordings of male athletes from the Orange's football, lacrosse, and socce...
Lance Armstrong Admits To Doping. Did Oprah Make Him Cry?
Congrats, AP—big fucking scoop, for those of us who have been on the ISS this past week. In his interview with Oprah Winfrey taped today (it'll air Thursday and be two hours long and on a channel no one gets), Armstrong confessed to using performance enhancing drugs. This gets a "breaking" from the ...
The BCS Championship On Twitter: Here's When Katherine Webb Became More Interesting Than The Game
After weeks of buildup, the BCS championship game turned out to be a total dud, with Alabama stomping Notre Dame 42-14 in a game that somehow was even less close than the final score would indicate. Despite the blowout, an unlikely star emerged. No, not Eddie Lacey—Katherine Webb....
<em>The Sunday Times</em> Put An Ad In <em>The Chicago Tribune</em> About What Questions Lance Armstrong Should Answer On <em>Oprah</em>
David Walsh, sports editor of The Sunday Times, took out this advertisement [click to enlarge] in The Chicago Tribune telling Oprah Winfrey what to ask during her interview with Lance Armstrong tomorrow, because Oprah and her staff only read their hometown paper and there is no other way to reach t...
Yeah, Lance Armstrong Will Admit To Doping On <em>Oprah</em>
The New York Times recently reported that Lance Armstrong was mulling a new and bold public relations maneuver: Admitting that he'd cheated at cycling for his entire career, a fact which most sane people had assumed to be true, but which would make him look particularly sociopathic due to vigor and ...