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Dolphins Center Mike Pouncey's Newest Tattoo: Teardrop Andrew Jackson, Trollface Ulysses S. Grant, And Old West Bank Robber Ben Franklin
You have to admire the commitment to civic-mindedness, history, and patriotism, but that is one ugly tattoo. We do like giving Andrew Jackson the teardrop tattoo—a tattoo within a tattoo, probably symbolic of Old Hickory's involvement with the Indian Removal Act of 1830 that set in motion the Trail ...
The Monster Wore A Tank Top. <em>Paranormal Activity 4,</em> Reviewed.
1. Like Grierson, I'm a sucker for the Paranormal Activity films. I don't care that their stories don't make sense, that apparently there's some sort of mythology tying everything together behind them, that no one ever, ever turns that goddamned camera off. These movies work not as movies—they're ba...
Hines Ward Likes To Pay For Sex With Women, According To Man Charged With Trying To Extort Hines Ward
A man who claimed to have evidence that retired Steelers receiver Hines Ward has a thing for soliciting prostitutes was arrested on extortion charges Thursday in Pittsburgh. The man, Joshua Van Auker, allegedly texted Ward's personal assistant on Wednesday with a threat to go public with whatever in...
Which TV Market Is Getting Screwed This Sunday? An Analysis Of NFL Viewing Maps
The NFL's regional programming rules are famously byzantine, which is why the Wikipedia article trying to explain them all is an insane 18,971 words long. (That's enough words to get you two-thirds of the way through Of Mice and Men, for chrissake.)...
The Chargers’ PR Director Writes A Bitchy Letter To Chargers Fans
One of the most recent articles posted under the "News" tab at Chargers.com has "Take A Chill Pill" as its headline. That's an odd headline to see on an official team site that usually just runs straight, boring news stories about the Chargers....
A Semi-Comprehensive List Of Everything Tyler Perry Pretends To Do In <em>Alex Cross</em>
Tyler Perry, tired (temporarily) of wearing dresses in his own movies, stars tomorrow in Alex Cross, playing the titular character of James Patterson's series of novels. Here is a semi-comprehensive list of everything Tyler Perry pretends to do in Alex Cross, in order. Spoilers abound....
<em>The Sessions</em> And The Trap Of The Disease-Of-The-Week Movie
All genres have their trademarks. In romantic comedies, the two meet, fall in love, break up, and then wind up together. In action movies, a lot of ass is kicked, then more ass is kicked, and then at the end, a hell of a lot of ass is kicked. That predictability isn't always a bad thing—after all, w...
This Isn't Your Life: On the Brilliant, Trippy <em>Holy Motors</em>
We like to believe that we're the masters of our own destinies, that our lives are ours to do with as we wish. But in reality, that's not true. We behave differently around our bosses than we do around our friends. Even as grown-ups, we still revert to childish tendencies when we're around our paren...
Where Would The NHL Be If Bain Capital Had Bought The Whole League In 2005?
It was March 2005, and the NHL's owners didn't know what to do. It had been six months since they'd locked out the players' union, trying to force concessions, but the players were still refusing to bear the brunt of spending cuts. Two weeks earlier, the league had finally canceled the already-delay...
Someone Stole A New York Giants Player's 1996 Chevy Caprice
While the Giants were in San Francisco to face the 49ers, burglars broke into the team's parking lot back in East Rutherford, N.J. where the players' cars were parked. The burglars broke into multiple vehicles and stole one....
The Chargers Have A Philip Rivers Problem
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If Ever A Moment Called For Facepalm, It's Philip Rivers Last Night
How do you blow a 24-0 halftime lead? Account for six turnovers, as Philip Rivers did last night in guiding the Chargers to a 35-24 final score, and you might just do it. To say it was laughable is an understatement, though most of us were, indeed, laughing. (Hopefully after the final interception—...
The Chargers Gave The Game To The Broncos: Denver-San Diego, In A GIF
Denver 35, San Diego 24: The thing about GIFs is that they are just a series of images rapidly displayed on an infinite loop. Philip Rivers and the Chargers know the feeling. Here is just one of several backbreakers—he had four on the night—and it went back for a touchdown. It capped 35 unanswered ...
Oakland A's Fan Mistakes Prince Fielder's Son For A Girl, Family Chews Him Out
According to the YouTube uploader, this all went down at Game 5 in Oakland. It's unclear why this A's fan, who may or may not be inebriated, was talking to the Fielder family but at some point a woman who looks strikingly like Prince Fielder's wife starts chewing him out for calling her son a girl....
Less Is More: How The <em>Paranormal Activity</em> Movies Got Better With Each Sequel
Sequels are almost never as good as the original movie, so it's a downright miracle when a franchise gets better as it goes along. It's hard to think of many that achieved that feat, but here's one you may not have considered: The Paranormal Activity series....
A Delightfully Catty Press Release, As The NHL Lockout Sets Canadian Networks Sparring Over Who Owns The Words "In Canada"
Without the NHL, Canada's broadcasters are scrambling. The CBC, which airs Hockey Night in Canada on Saturday evenings, has a massive programming block to fill. As the lockout drags on, their solution is apparently: old hockey. The CBC is having fans vote on classic games, with those games to air in...
An Astounding Story Of Fraud, Blackmail, And The Fake Twitter Rumormonger Who Took On Liverpool
You don't need a ton of context to appreciate how batshit amazing this story is. Out of nowhere, a Twitter account emerges, claiming to have inside information. He floats some transfer rumors, scores a few hits, and all of a sudden becomes one of the more trusted sources covering Liverpool FC. So tr...
Ben Roethlisberger Is Not Impressed
Tennessee upset Pittsburgh last night in a Thursday Night Football game full of exciting field goals and the sort of play that led most viewers to seek out more compelling sports TV on TBS or TNT. A last-second field goal by Rob Bironas—his fourth of the game—locked things up for the Titans, and a ...
Hooray For <em>Sinister</em>, A Horror Movie That's Actually Good
For a genre that remains a Hollywood staple, horror doesn't get much respect. If a film isn't screened in advance for critics, it's usually a horror movie. Although they dominate Halloween, they're also the movies that get dumped at the deadest corners of the release calendar: January and late Augus...